Speaking to the kids about stuff

Lol I know greatcoastal! It's actually feeling a little crazy fast even by my standards. I had no idea the interview would go so well, that I would be offered the job. I really and truly expected that it would take quite some time, having been out of the workforce as a stay at home mum. It's not going down too well with h. But I've got to take that opportunity, right??

Go sister merrygoround, yes, you deserve it ! And alot more besides

1. University entrance exams passed with flying colours.

2. Lawyer got stuck in court so we have rescheduled for tomorrow morning. We will be filing for divorce.

3. Come home, talk to kids.

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This evening I haven't stopped crying. I guess a mixture of huge amount of pride in what son has achieved and how far he has come and just the emotions of everything else. I guess it's all catching up with me. It's all so fucking unfair. Just hanging on, trying to keep strong and knowing one day it will get better. Daughter is so aware of unhappy I seem, so is youngest son. There is only so much I can put down to hormones lol. I just pray they get to understand it all.

Saw the lawyer this morning, discussed everything, handed over the relevant paperwork - she will prepare it over this weekend, give us a call to go in early next week and that's it - divorce.

So then came the bit we were obviously dreading the most....

Came home and gathered the kids together. They obviously were not surprised - a few tears were shed, everything was explained to them on how things would work out, that are still a family and our love and support for them as mum and dad is still the same, but from different locations.

It reassured them that I was going to be staying with my parents - they are very close to them.

They understood about the job, the leaving date and that they will be free to come and go as they please between bases.

I am so impressed by the way they handled things and the support they gave us! Just wanting us to be happy and if that was apart, then so be it.

They know they can continue to bring up any concerns or questions with us.

Wow. At least we did one thing right. So proud of them. Amazingly compassionate young adults.

Wow! Are we talking 2 weeks from start of the legal process to end? That would be incredible. I hope you haven't conceded more than you should to get a fast resolution.

merrygoround I haven't read all of the posts in this thread, but let me say this -- I struggled with this too.

We've already told our young adult children. I have always maintained open communication with them and I don't plan to change that anytime soon. However, I have informed them that I can't go in details right now, but I will share more (not all) after the dust settles.

In fact, while I was spending time with one of my kids recently, he brought up the subject and said "Splitting the money will be tough and will sting for a while, but at least you will be free, so that doesn't sound too bad."  I told him that he is correct about that much, but there is more to the story that I cannot discuss until the divorce is final. I fully plan to give each of my adult kids a copy of the settlement agreement to read and understand. I also plan to share with them that this wasn't a loving relationship and explain what a SM is, how it impacts the refused spouse, and educate them so hopefully they won't suffer as I have all these years.

After all, it is our number one responsibility as parents to love, nurture, and protect our children from harm. And I plan to do just that to the very best of my ability.