|
|
Post by shamwow on May 15, 2017 13:42:39 GMT -5
Here's my suggestion (bear in mind it usually flies about as well as an iron hang-glider). Once you are out of your ILIASM shithole, it is a real good idea to conduct an exhaustive autopsy on your failed marriage, and in particular, your role in that. There is absolutely heaps you could learn, about yourself mainly. And *if* you developed some bad habits / behaviours to cope with your ILIASM shithole (for example - being a door mat, perhaps developing a smart mouth to cope, mebbe adopting passive aggressive tactics to protect yourself, developed a worn down beaten attitude, developed a habit of bullshitting yourself etc etc etc) then it is a good time to start working hard on eradicating those things, because they are not going to help you one bit in your future. Sort as much of your own shit out as you can before you take another turn on the carousel. I totally agree, but I don't think the "work on your own shit" ever really ends (or it really shouldn't). We all have our own demons, and slaying them can be a life-long quest. |
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on May 15, 2017 13:47:59 GMT -5
Come to my town hahahah! I have had more women complain to me than I'd have ever thought about how few single men there are in my area (lots of single moms in their mid 30's to 40's). There is a distinct lack of available men under the age of 60 :/ My brother in law visited and was swamped with Tinder hits and messages, it was weird. This is outside of Seattle, lots of sugar Mama's hah! I would think the problem there is that many of those single moms are looking for a stepdad for their kids. If that's what you're looking for, great! But that is the challenge dating at 45 rather than 25. At 45 you may be getting a much larger "package" than just the lady you're looking for. |
|
|
|
Post by cagedtiger on May 15, 2017 14:02:02 GMT -5
I'm quickly finding out that my area is a buyer's market for men in my age bracket. Just be a nice, respectful guy who's got his stuff together, and you'll be just fine.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 15, 2017 15:32:59 GMT -5
And, I am thinking maybe the man shortage isn't as bad as all the press it gets.
I've met 3 guys from my newest dating site.
One, I could tell after 10 minutes wouldn't work out.
The second one, I'm seeing some red flags. He's told me all kinds of weird things about his life. And he seems to be something of an ignorer. He's not very communicative between in-person meetings.
Guy #3 - it's too soon to tell. I just hope it's not one of those ones that's so good that I run in the opposite direction.
|
|
|
|
Post by GeekGoddess on May 15, 2017 20:00:29 GMT -5
@smartkat - I hope #3 is "just good enough" to keep you intrigued, but not so good you run out he other way! I see your self knowledge growing throughout your posts, you savvy woman. And I think that's great.
I keep meaning to try another app or two (POF & OK Cupid have both been recommended).
Tinder is "meh" sorta. I've met a man a few times for Coffee who I like to kiss. We'll see if anything additions comes of that. And of course, I'll report back.
Good luck with Mr #3!
|
|
|
|
Post by nolongerlonely on May 16, 2017 3:31:04 GMT -5
theres excellent advice here. And I like Seattle
lol
|
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on May 16, 2017 9:07:16 GMT -5
Smart Kay if you'd really run the other way if a man were a great fit, you need more healing. If a man seems that wonderful, the healthy response would be to run toward him. But it can take a while to trust even a wonderful man whom one is sexually attracted to after being in a sexless relationship.
|
|
|
|
Post by Apocrypha on May 24, 2017 15:52:55 GMT -5
Come to my town hahahah! I have had more women complain to me than I'd have ever thought about how few single men there are in my area (lots of single moms in their mid 30's to 40's). There is a distinct lack of available men under the age of 60 :/ My brother in law visited and was swamped with Tinder hits and messages, it was weird. This is outside of Seattle, lots of sugar Mama's hah! Tempting. If only... |
|
|
|
Post by JonDoe on Jun 2, 2017 19:10:24 GMT -5
Come to my town hahahah! I have had more women complain to me than I'd have ever thought about how few single men there are in my area (lots of single moms in their mid 30's to 40's). There is a distinct lack of available men under the age of 60 :/ My brother in law visited and was swamped with Tinder hits and messages, it was weird. This is outside of Seattle, lots of sugar Mama's hah! Note to self... Plan trip(s) to Seattle! 🙂 Love Seattle and surrounding areas. Unfortunately, I haven't been back since late 90's. |
|
|
|
Post by Dan on Jun 12, 2017 16:22:24 GMT -5
I haven't dated in 20 years, how does a 45 year old guy find someone? I know that it will be much different then when I was 25. Back then everyone was single. Where do you find single 40 year old women? This is one of my biggest fears about leaving I know it was already mentioned by WindSister in this thread, but I booked marked your OP a long time ago, so I could point you to this, once I wrote it... Sounds like you need to read my post about "Meetup.com": iliasm.org/thread/3254/website-meetup-comSounds like you are in "phase 4" by my reckoning... |
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Jun 12, 2017 18:36:30 GMT -5
I agree with Dan that Meetup is a great place to meet people. When I had the time to be involved, there were lots of newly divorced people in it as well as people new to the area. It's a great way to meet like-minded friendly people who are interested in making friends or getting partnered. I ended up being so involved in other activities that I didn't have time for Meetup, but I did have a great time at a Meetup Christmas party a single woman in her 50s threw, and at a Thanksgiving dinner that a woman from abroad threw the day before Thanksgiving. I was in the process of divorce then and was going to be alone for the holidays so it was nice to connect with others. Among the things that I liked was the fact that everyone was friendly. It was easy to go there as a single.
|
|
