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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 29, 2017 11:52:06 GMT -5
Try: Name 2 (or 3) options. Not in the mood for those? Ok I will make what I want. You're a big girl, you'll figure it out when you're hungry later. Stop catering to her on this kind of crap. And especially stop if it makes you want to complain about it. She (they) use this sort of stuff to reinforce our habit of running around trying to please them. Reinforces our inferiority that we can't come up with something they want. Tough titties. You don't like what I'm offering the go without. (Oh how it applies to the bedroom tho!) But overdoing for a refuser in the non-bedroom issues will not convince them to take care of the sex life. So desist. Especially if it's frustrating you. Oh, I have stopped playing that losing game. I'm new here and just going through old threads. This one made me laugh. If she doesn't like my first 3 options, and doesn't offer an alternative, I eat fridge leftovers and she has cereal. Didn't mean to sound whiney but I thought I would pile on to what I consider a joke now.😃 No offense, I am guilty of the same thing. Caving, settling, keeping the peace. Yet think about it? You offered many things. Being seen together, traveling together, buying together, communicating together, watching each other in public, both being served, no cleaning up for either of you, opening the opportunity to then do more things together. Take it a step deeper. Your intimacy/sex life. Leftovers: You get to live on the memories, your on your own. Rejected. Cereal: She has just enough to keep her content, almost like doing nothing at all. Try this. This week I am going to try a new restaurant. I am going to try a new food, I am going to invite a neighbor or an old friend. I am going to pay for both of us. Go for it, live life one day at a time. Let her eat cereal, and don't blink over the cost. She was invited. Same for wives too. (My Daughter tried key lime pie for the first time last night, and I had Parmesan cheese chicken wings instead of BBQ. Just the two of us. My STBX went off to eat with her 85 yr. old daddy.....again.) The first seats available where at the end o the bar. Kind of a weird L shape. The only lady there was seated about 3 ft across from me. The guy beside me was hitting on her (some). I concentrated on my daughter. She had just performed her first solo with her school chorus class, at the high school auditorium, we had much to be happy about! I was far nicer dressed than the man beside me. He smelled like beer, ( I had a cup of water) he wore a baseball hat, long hair, and tattoos. We were "different" from each other. She kept smiling at me, and eventually spoke with my daughter. It's good to get out of the house! |
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Post by thefullmoon on Apr 29, 2017 21:48:23 GMT -5
This is a regular thing with my wife when we are going to go out to dinner. Me: Where do you want to have dinner? Her: I don't care. Pick a place. Me: OK, lets go to Joes Italian Her: No, I don't want to go there. Me: OK lets go to Chinese. Her: I don't feel like Chinese tonight. Me: OK, lets go to the Greek Place. Her: No, I don't like that place. Me: OK, Lets go for Mexican. Her: Not Mexican. Me: OK, where do you want to go? Her: Nowhere, lets eat in. Me: (I reach way down and think of the most inconvenient place but something I know she's liked in the Past. Â How about...... Her: OK. I know this isn't just my situation. Â This conversation is repeated in countless households by countless husbands. Â What the fuck is wrong with you ladies? Â Why can't YOU make a decision about where to eat? Â Why is it all on us men? Â Is this just a passive-aggressive built in female thing? Not all ladies are like that... sorry, you just chose a wrong one... |
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Post by wewbwb on May 2, 2017 11:32:35 GMT -5
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Post by misssunnybunny on May 2, 2017 16:57:40 GMT -5
Their most popular dish? "Whatever" |
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Post by wewbwb on May 2, 2017 17:15:25 GMT -5
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Post by hopingforachange on May 2, 2017 17:31:24 GMT -5
The top desert is "I don't give a damn", followed by"just bring me something"
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Post by GeekGoddess on May 2, 2017 21:46:59 GMT -5
They could have a HUGE chain nationwide- that may be the answer to "the eternal riddle" LOL |
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Post by hopingforachange on May 3, 2017 7:34:50 GMT -5
I was going to say something but I saw Lexus46 profile pick, and ummmm, ummmm, what was i saying.
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Post by wewbwb on May 8, 2017 12:27:52 GMT -5
 This is real. |
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Post by petrushka on May 8, 2017 13:28:28 GMT -5
I stopped playing that game years ago.
Some of the veterans here may remember my battle cry: "Just.Don't.Play" from
way back when, as a way of dealing with those p-a gamers.
Believe it or not, I get suggestions these days. SUGGESTIONS!
Can you believe it?
And if she ever refuses to make a choice these days, we do what I want. I refuse to
feel guilty about it. It works just fine. LoL. Hey, I get what I want. How can I not
like THAT? Getting more assertive instead of trying to make her 'happy' has worked
out very well indeed for me. Maybe it is what she wanted?!?!? She seems happier this way.
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Post by WindSister on May 11, 2017 10:01:03 GMT -5
I have to share a story of when my husband and I went out to eat with his youngest daughter (22) and her husband (also 22). It's not a story of indecisiveness, but one of that passive-aggressive manipulation. Every time I see it in action it makes me shudder and I hate to say it, but both of my step-daughters are "good" at it. They are newlyweds who almost didn't get married so my husband and I just kind of observe them knowing someday... someday.... all these issues will compile and be something they have to deal with (because, been there, done that). She: What kind of cheesecake do you want to split? He: I want chocolate. What kind do you want? She: Hmmm... I don't know. He: Okay, let's get the chocolate then. She: But didn't you have a chocolate candy bar earlier? He: (thinking) Yeah, I suppose I could have something else. What kind do you want? She: You always like the strawberry, but we can get the chocolate if you want. He: Okay, let's get the chocolate. She: (Sad, pouting) I suppose, that will work. I am just surprised you want something chocolate-y again! He: If you don't want chocolate, just say you don't. She: No, that's fine, lets get the chocolate. Chocolate is served.... she takes half a bite and stops. He: What's wrong? You don't like it? She: I think strawberry would have been better. He: I am sorry - next time we will get yours. She: It's okay (clearly not okay, she looks annoyed, acts sad). My husband and I on the inside: OMG, JUST EACH GET YOUR OWN DAMN SLICE!!! But no.. games are much better, right? We see it in them because as I said -- BTDT. I had PA tendencies towards my ex while he was just passive. So not fun. Now I really work on being DIRECT, DIRECT, DIRECT. Makes life so much nicer.  |
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Post by Caris on May 23, 2017 17:30:21 GMT -5
I recall early on in our marriage, he drove around numerous restaurants, and me saying "no, not that one." God knows why I was like that. I don't know. I just couldn't decide, but I'm a very picky eater, so the food has to be just right.
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Post by wewbwb on May 24, 2017 8:00:38 GMT -5
I recall early on in our marriage, he drove around numerous restaurants, and me saying "no, not that one." God knows why I was like that. I don't know. I just couldn't decide, but I'm a very picky eater, so the food has to be just right. I can totally relate to being a picky eater. |
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Post by Caris on May 24, 2017 22:55:12 GMT -5
I recall early on in our marriage, he drove around numerous restaurants, and me saying "no, not that one." God knows why I was like that. I don't know. I just couldn't decide, but I'm a very picky eater, so the food has to be just right. I can totally relate to being a picky eater. Do you find a dish that you like, at a particular restaurant, and only order that every time you go there? I do. Well, did. I very seldom eat out anymore. I prefer my own simple meals at home. |
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kam
Junior Member
Posts: 26
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Post by kam on May 25, 2017 9:23:09 GMT -5
I can totally relate to being a picky eater. Do you find a dish that you like, at a particular restaurant, and only order that every time you go there? I do. Well, did. I very seldom eat out anymore. I prefer my own simple meals at home. Me too! I have a very short list of places I go to, and eat maybe just one or two dishes from that particular restaurant. I have to admit I've been guilty of the You-Choose-Oh,Not-There bit a few times. I have no excuses. |
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