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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2016 8:57:09 GMT -5
LEXUS46 Have you threatened to leave him recently? This is the kind of thing that refusers do when they feel threatened that you'll actually leave them.
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 26, 2016 8:59:31 GMT -5
Interesting. Did you take him up on it? And did he preform well? Was it intimate?
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 26, 2016 9:29:04 GMT -5
"You are making personal decisions without his input" shouldn't a personal decision be just that? Do you feel like the trust is gone? Sounds like it. You are questioning why he wants to have sex. Sounds like re-sex. That has it's good and bad. Good that it makes you aware of what your partners selfish motives are. Bad that you realize you are being played, and know they want you to leave them alone.
Trust yet varrify! Good time to ask some questions. Don't be surprised to get wide sweeping, change the subject, point the finger, turn around answers. Like a controller will do.
Nice to hear from you again!
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 26, 2016 9:48:35 GMT -5
I asked him what's the deal.... his response.... You're so hot... I can't resist your body. ( I do not believe his response, btw) I wouldn't discount his assessment ;-) but the sudden change in behavior should put your spider-sense on alert. A guy who hasn't wanted sex is suddenly aware, interested, and frequent? I'd like to say he's seen the light, and there's a glimmer of hope there. The other side of "trust but verify" says he's feeling guilty, and it's related to sex. Did he and his buddies end up at a strip joint this weekend? |
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Post by lwoetin on Apr 26, 2016 11:15:22 GMT -5
You're so hot... I can't resist your body. ( I do not believe his response, btw) Hmm.... my appearance hasn't changed in 10 years. I haven't seen your pics....but so many guys seem to be tripping over themselves when you are around. Your H probably just has taken you for granted...and was watching some porn last night. If the sexual desire is genuine, then please let me know what he is taking because I would like some for my spouse. I too am so hot (98.5 F) and my body is irresistible pure muscles, and bones. If you want feedback whether you need enhancement, feel free to send your pics to me. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2016 11:30:47 GMT -5
I would think that he has had some external motivation of some kind. Refusers can sense when their victims are starting to gain some independence and self esteem.
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 26, 2016 14:43:11 GMT -5
I would think that he has had some external motivation of some kind. Refusers can sense when their victims are starting to gain some independence and self esteem. Agreed. Very unlikely this is spontaneous. Something has triggered it. |
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Post by snowman12345 on Apr 26, 2016 16:41:21 GMT -5
DryCreek- no strip club... But, my 'red flag' is up. [br Do you suspect he has some side dish that might have dumped him? |
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Post by unmatched on Apr 26, 2016 18:15:03 GMT -5
Agreed. Very unlikely this is spontaneous. Something has triggered it. Now that I think about this.........trigger? Last week one of his employees did go, a little overboard, on compliments about his wife. Maybe a trigger - but unsure. You think he is having an affair with his male employee and feeling guilty? |
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Post by darktippedrose on Apr 26, 2016 18:41:04 GMT -5
I am suspicious of any sudden change in behavior. who knows whats really going on in his head. but I probably wouldn't be too fast to trust it.
just my 2cts.
and I am like you. I don't find my husband attractive anymore. I'm not sexually attracted to him at all. I have desires, but not for him.
and thats ok. nothing wrong with how you're feeling.
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Post by snowman12345 on Apr 26, 2016 21:16:14 GMT -5
[br Do you suspect he has some side dish that might have dumped him? No - to someone on the side. I can barely get him 'out' of the house. Porn - maybe but doubtful. I've encouraged that over the years- he's such a purde. With all that said- I'm not naive enough to know anything is possible. Sounds heavenly! LOL. Good luck figuring him out. |
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Post by jim44444 on Apr 26, 2016 21:53:15 GMT -5
I seem to recall a recent story where you related that you had lost a bit of weight. I think it was on TheSiteThatShallNotBeNamed. Maybe he is truly attracted to you or maybe he is marking his property.
It could be he has had some epiphany regarding his mortality or aging and he is trying to reconnect.
Or maybe something/someone turned him on and this is just a fleeting moment. Give it a couple of weeks to see if the trend continues.
But the bottom-line is you are not turned on by him. He now needs to seduce you again.
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 26, 2016 22:03:14 GMT -5
I seem to recall a recent story where you related that you had lost a bit of weight. There is the possibility, then, that one or more of the guys he knows have noticed and commented to him that you're looking hot. That could well trigger some competitive drive and a "renewed interest in playing with his own toys". You know, like how a 4-year old will fight to keep a neglected toy just because someone else wants it. It'd be a good ego stroke, even if the motive is lame! |
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Post by lwoetin on Apr 26, 2016 23:14:56 GMT -5
Wewbwb - I did take him up on it. Not because he turned me on, but it's nice to know that my body didn't reject him. Now, I'm planning on some 'enhancement' surgery... So, I'm making personal decisions without his input. Maybe that's it. But, no he does not turn me on. That's HORRIBLE to say. But, after years of begging him for sex.... I became numb and lost all desire for him. You begged for sex and now it appears that something bigger is missing. I hope you find it, whether it is with your H or with someone else. Maybe searching...for happiness(?) or peace(?)...is what makes life worth living. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2016 15:11:08 GMT -5
Agreed. Very unlikely this is spontaneous. Something has triggered it. Now that I think about this.........trigger? Last week one of his employees did go, a little overboard, on compliments about his wife. Maybe a trigger - but unsure. Very possible. I told my refuser that just because she thought I was repulsive does not mean everyone else does |
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