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Post by pfviento on Jan 23, 2017 22:53:15 GMT -5
Congrats on getting through a difficult conversation. You know your situation best and it sounds like you put a lot of thought into it.
Best of luck.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2017 23:25:28 GMT -5
I know this was a difficult hurdle to get over. You and she have a lot of stuff to deal with. It takes courage to take this step - and it sounds to me like you are thinking clearly and have your next steps in mind. Good luck to you!
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Post by shamwow on Jan 24, 2017 3:23:47 GMT -5
I know this was a difficult hurdle to get over. You and she have a lot of stuff to deal with. It takes courage to take this step - and it sounds to me like you are thinking clearly and have your next steps in mind. Good luck to you! it was scary to jump out of an airplane too. I fell screaming for a mile, but eventually I pulled the cord, the chute deplyed, and I floated to the ground in peace. Here's hoping this is the same. |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2017 16:35:05 GMT -5
I hope it continues to be peaceful. But be prepared. She could change her mind at any time and decide to go to a lawyer, file a divorce petition, and set a hearing for you to be removed from the home.
I hope I am wrong, but I always tell people to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Jan 24, 2017 19:33:35 GMT -5
That conversation is one of the most difficult to have. Congrats to you and all the best as you navigate the separation/divorce process.
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Post by Dan on Jan 24, 2017 22:08:05 GMT -5
She was shocked, had no idea this was coming. She asked if we could resolve this, and I said categorically "no". I had suffered too much pain to ever love her again. This might be cruel, but giving her hope would have been worse. She needs to understand this isn't just another talk like we've had over the years. Yes, she knew our marriage was in trouble, but had no idea that this particular morning I would announce it was ending. I have given this much thought. I expect I'll do the same; there is just no easing into this discussion over the course of days or weeks. Perhaps I've watched too much Survivor... but -- FWIW -- I'm 100% convinced that "the blindside is the kindest cut". At least in my case, I feel that will be the right approach when I have The Talk™. |
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Post by thebaffledking on Jan 25, 2017 2:47:35 GMT -5
Dan, your OP post in the other thread combined with this one -- DITTO DITTO DITTO. I have wasted a lot of time waiting for some divine intervention to stir up the dust so we can go at it and I'll have my clear cut 'reason' to end it all of a sudden.....but she's satisfied and content since I gave up several years ago. I'm sure she even thought I agreed with her bizarre statement that our sexlessness was "mutual" because when she said that all I could do was shake my head and walk away and the nightmare has not been addressed since....I have only had enough energy to claw myself back to my feet and start drawing the roadmap out. There just IS no 'right time', and no one, or 'no-thing' is going to come along and save the day.......well, of course it could be a heart attack or stroke, or perhaps a disease diagnosis for the refusing-controlling spouse that WILL keep you locked down for good......those things are just as likely to decide for us as a 'sign from above'......it could either way......time is of the essence, life is 50-50 yin-yang and, man, you can get screwed so hard by one fateful moment while sitting and waiting for the 'right time'. I totally get you. ANY mode of 'cut' is simply necessary whether it's kind or not. Mine certainly has not been kind in her dismantling of me over years. Hey, can you take over rowing this boat for a bit?  |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2017 11:41:24 GMT -5
Hope you are doing ok shammy boy.
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Post by smilin61 on Jan 25, 2017 12:09:57 GMT -5
Dan, your OP post in the other thread combined with this one -- DITTO DITTO DITTO. I have wasted a lot of time waiting for some divine intervention to stir up the dust so we can go at it and I'll have my clear cut 'reason' to end it all of a sudden.....but she's satisfied and content since I gave up several years ago. I'm sure she even thought I agreed with her bizarre statement that our sexlessness was "mutual" because when she said that all I could do was shake my head and walk away and the nightmare has not been addressed since....I have only had enough energy to claw myself back to my feet and start drawing the roadmap out. There just IS no 'right time', and no one, or 'no-thing' is going to come along and save the day.......well, of course it could be a heart attack or stroke, or perhaps a disease diagnosis for the refusing-controlling spouse that WILL keep you locked down for good......those things are just as likely to decide for us as a 'sign from above'......it could either way......time is of the essence, life is 50-50 yin-yang and, man, you can get screwed so hard by one fateful moment while sitting and waiting for the 'right time'. I totally get you. ANY mode of 'cut' is simply necessary whether it's kind or not. Mine certainly has not been kind in her dismantling of me over years. Hey, can you take over rowing this boat for a bit? Bk- I waited for that moment for 6 years. It never came. Here's to finding your own way to happiness! ( Cheers! ) |
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Post by shamwow on Jan 25, 2017 12:26:22 GMT -5
Hope you are doing ok shammy boy. I am gettingby day by day. Taking a step back from here for a few days. Emotions too intense. I will do a post this weekend with an update. Just hurts too goddamn much right now. |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2017 12:33:07 GMT -5
Hope you are doing ok shammy boy. I am gettingby day by day. Taking a step back from here for a few days. Emotions too intense. I will do a post this weekend with an update. Just hurts too goddamn much right now. I understand. Try to focus on where you will eventually end up. |
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Post by lyn on Jan 25, 2017 12:34:38 GMT -5
{{Hugs}} shamwow. Post when you're ready. |
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