welcome moonshine,...perhaps it's too soon for you to speak about how it's working out for you after having left your SM. I hope it's going for the better. If we here at ILIASM were helpful for you in the decision making I'm glad that we were of some benefit to you. I'm sure everyone here wishes you well as you move forward in the next stage of your life.
Thank you for the welcome! It feels a bit lonely at times I have to admit as it’s not even been a full year, and I am still getting used to it. But more than that, I simply feel relief. We met in college, dated for 7 years long distance, and were married for 9 years after that. I am re-learning how to be by myself again.
Feeling lonely because of my marriage was the worst of all worlds, I had extreme anxiety and went through several bouts of depression. I don’t feel that anymore and that alone makes it easier to breathe everyday. I used to think there was something wrong with me, my ex used to tell me I was abnormal/crazy for wanting too much sex (i.e. anything more than once every year or two years). And there was always reason for him to refuse me -dishes still in the sink (yes!), grad school, work, his parents living with us, my brother living with us, living in separate cities, his health which then became the permanent shield that I was not allowed to ever question. My view of my own appearance and self was so distorted and I am still picking up the pieces of that.
I spent years trying to understand what I could do differently, and finally came to the conclusion nothing I could do would change it. It was not apparent to me when we dated as he is the only guy I had ever dated and we lived in separate states for almost the entire time. Hindsight is 20/20, maybe I would have noticed the red flags sooner. Oh well, nowhere to go from here but up
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5