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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2016 20:32:31 GMT -5
Thanks for that feedback/input, snowman12345 and unmatched. And yes, I definitely make that clear in the article. One partner can't fix it alone -- the other partner has to be on board 100%. I suppose the "over 50" requirement is to align with the magazine's demographic, but I'll chime in with another request... Anybody can write about hardship of a woman because her husband has ED, diabetes, a heart condition, or some other medical ailment. That's not newsworthy; that's life. The story that needs to get out is the one where a man, who is in fine health, refuses intimacy with his wife who desires him. Or perhaps the one where a man with a mild medical issue refuses all forms of intimacy, not just the one mode that's affected. . . . DC, I'm amazed. You have really gotten into the heads of refused women. I think I'm going to cry..,.. |
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 21, 2016 22:27:32 GMT -5
Ditto DryCreek.... Ditto DarkTippedRose... The only thing I'd like to add is this: reverse the genders in DryCreek's write up, and it still holds. So many good, dedicated men try to "do the right thing" in the face of marital sexlessness (sticking with it, giving her another chance, etc), while being denied a normal, healthy sex life. It may cut differently than it cuts women, but it is just as deep and -- likely -- as painful: the drain, the doubt, the demoralization, the depression. Agreed. We get trapped for stereotypically different reasons. Women believe they must be alone in their desperation, because it's commonly held that "all men want sex, all the time", and it's reinforced by complaints from their girlfriends about insatiable husbands. So, sexlessness could only be due to their own undesirability; to confide in anyone about their predicament would be humiliating. On the other hand, men are trapped by the common belief that "all wives refuse their husbands"; it's a cliché joke, so nobody takes the issue seriously. If I were to provide guidance for the article from a consumer's perspective... Husband-refusing-wife is a more compelling story, precisely because it breaks the stereotype. It will engage more readers, and do far more to raise awareness of the issue. If one of the women could be persuaded to share her photo, it would be further evidence that this happens to very attractive people. It would be a notable statistic to share that of the 50,000 people on ExperienceProject who identified with "I Live in a Sexless Marriage", the split was 50/50 men and women. And on this site, the ratio of women is even higher. (I'd suggest that men are culturally desensitized to their fate and less likely to seek out an online forum, but regardless there are far more women with this issue than anyone outside our circle would ever suspect.) For clarity, I want to acknowledge that there are some (relatively rare) voluntarily sexless marriages. This is not what the sexless marriage issue is about - those people are entitled to their lifestyle. Sexless marriage as an issue is about one spouse unilaterally withholding sex and intimacy, and expecting their partner to "roll with the punches" as if it's no big deal. I'm hopeful this piece will be as featured as claimed, and that it sees a wide circulation through many outlets. And... because people see this audience as "desperate targets" for different schemes, I'll reinforce the requests to provide credentials. DC |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2016 11:47:26 GMT -5
Hi Elizabeth, I am afraid I am not a woman or over 50 so I am not much use to you but I do have a request. Please, please make sure that your article makes it clear that sexless marriages are only ever fixable if both partners are really interested in trying to fix it. I think for most of us here that would be considered the bottom line. Hallelujah praise the Lord Maranatha speaking in tongues Holy Ghost Power damn effin str8. PLEASE don't end the article with "5 Ways To Put The Sizzle Back In Your Marriage." The only way you can write about this truthfully is to present it as a problem that is rarely solved. How much you want to bet the editor will tell you it's too negative? |
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Post by Rhapsodee on Apr 23, 2016 14:32:18 GMT -5
Thanks for that feedback/input, snowman12345 and unmatched. And yes, I definitely make that clear in the article. One partner can't fix it alone -- the other partner has to be on board 100%. I suppose the "over 50" requirement is to align with the magazine's demographic, but I'll chime in with another request... Anybody can write about hardship of a woman because her husband has ED, diabetes, a heart condition, or some other medical ailment. That's not newsworthy; that's life. The story that needs to get out is the one where a man, who is in fine health, refuses intimacy with his wife who desires him. Or perhaps the one where a man with a mild medical issue refuses all forms of intimacy, not just the one mode that's affected. . . . Thank you so much, DC. There is nothing in this world more painful than being married to a healthy, able bodied man that refuses intimacy. |
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Post by Admin on Apr 25, 2016 23:00:57 GMT -5
I checked with Ms Kuster, asking "how is the research going?"
She mentioned "Right now I'm still trying to find women over 50 to chat with."
My "spider senses" tell me her request is on the level.
I also feel that if the article help people to look for and find this site, those that do may find the support they desperately need.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2016 1:29:50 GMT -5
I checked with Ms Kuster, asking "how is the research going?" She mentioned "Right now I'm still trying to find women over 50 to chat with." My "spider senses" tell me her request is on the level. I also feel that if the article help people to look for and find this site, those that do may find the support they desperately need. I think if she searched for "women over 40," she would have better results, and a more compelling article. But, that is not for me to decide. |
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 27, 2016 2:42:03 GMT -5
I think if she searched for "women over 40," she would have better results, and a more compelling article. But, that is not for me to decide. Considering this is an issue that spans decades, I agree. Perhaps women over 50 have either left their marriages over this, resigned themselves to their fate, or (broadly speaking) care a lot less about a lack of sex? A back-of-the-napkin tally suggests that 40-50 is heavily represented here vs. other age brackets. Aside from Kat's volunteering, perhaps somebody can reach out to Mettamomma from EP and see if she wants to represent the 60+ bracket. (Somehow, I don't think Smartkat and MM are pen pals.  ) |
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Post by LITW on May 3, 2016 15:26:23 GMT -5
My mom and wife both read Prevention ... if this article actually gets published is there some way I can be warned, and perhaps change my username? My wife and I had a huge fight over me being on the iliasm group in EP (I used the same username) and I really don't want to have to explain what I am doing here.
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Post by angryspartan on May 3, 2016 15:59:17 GMT -5
Why just women?....
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2016 17:16:46 GMT -5
My mom and wife both read Prevention ... if this article actually gets published is there some way I can be warned, and perhaps change my username? My wife and I had a huge fight over me being on the iliasm group in EP (I used the same username) and I really don't want to have to explain what I am doing here. This website will not be mentioned in the article. I asked the reporter that question specifically. It's possible she may mention that people have googled "sexless marriage," but there will not be any specific sites mentioned. |
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2016 19:44:23 GMT -5
Ditto DryCreek.... Ditto DarkTippedRose... The only thing I'd like to add is this: reverse the genders in DryCreek's write up, and it still holds. So many good, dedicated men try to "do the right thing" in the face of marital sexlessness (sticking with it, giving her another chance, etc), while being denied a normal, healthy sex life. It may cut differently than it cuts women, but it is just as deep and -- likely -- as painful: the drain, the doubt, the demoralization, the depression. Agreed. We get trapped for stereotypically different reasons. Women believe they must be alone in their desperation, because it's commonly held that "all men want sex, all the time", and it's reinforced by complaints from their girlfriends about insatiable husbands. So, sexlessness could only be due to their own undesirability; to confide in anyone about their predicament would be humiliating. On the other hand, men are trapped by the common belief that "all wives refuse their husbands"; it's a cliché joke, so nobody takes the issue seriously. If I were to provide guidance for the article from a consumer's perspective... Husband-refusing-wife is a more compelling story, precisely because it breaks the stereotype. It will engage more readers, and do far more to raise awareness of the issue. If one of the women could be persuaded to share her photo, it would be further evidence that this happens to very attractive people. It would be a notable statistic to share that of the 50,000 people on ExperienceProject who identified with "I Live in a Sexless Marriage", the split was 50/50 men and women. And on this site, the ratio of women is even higher. (I'd suggest that men are culturally desensitized to their fate and less likely to seek out an online forum, but regardless there are far more women with this issue than anyone outside our circle would ever suspect.) For clarity, I want to acknowledge that there are some (relatively rare) voluntarily sexless marriages. This is not what the sexless marriage issue is about - those people are entitled to their lifestyle. Sexless marriage as an issue is about one spouse unilaterally withholding sex and intimacy, and expecting their partner to "roll with the punches" as if it's no big deal. I'm hopeful this piece will be as featured as claimed, and that it sees a wide circulation through many outlets. And... because people see this audience as "desperate targets" for different schemes, I'll reinforce the requests to provide credentials. DC In my experience with online forums, women do tend to join them more often, especially about more emotional issues. |
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Post by LITW on May 4, 2016 6:12:53 GMT -5
My mom and wife both read Prevention ... if this article actually gets published is there some way I can be warned, and perhaps change my username? My wife and I had a huge fight over me being on the iliasm group in EP (I used the same username) and I really don't want to have to explain what I am doing here. This website will not be mentioned in the article. I asked the reporter that question specifically. It's possible she may mention that people have googled "sexless marriage," but there will not be any specific sites mentioned. Thanks Mountainrunner. |
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