Better but not

darktippedrose
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Better but not Nov 1, 2016 17:18:27 GMT -5 GeekGoddess and lwoetin like this

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Post by darktippedrose on Nov 1, 2016 17:18:27 GMT -5

Things right now are getting better, but not.

So my husband has finally left being a supporter of Daesh (ISIS/ISIL).

At first I didn't believe it but he has. And I'm happy. He is now more like a Shi'ah Muslim. I have no problem with it as long as he is better, and not like before.

So when we talk religious affairs now, he almost seems like a friend. But it ends there.

I'm not supposed to listen to music out loud because it attracts devils. Music and dancing is evil.

He's much nicer to the kidz, but doesn't spend as much time on them as I'd like.

He still tells me about things that will send me to hell. He hasn't tried to mend anything. He is all about religion and nothing can be personal. No personal love or anything like that.

When he was bad, I understood my place in things. Now that he's added some niceness to it. Now I'm back to being to being confused. Right when I thought he was changing, he hasn't completely changed. Grrrr. Now I'm torn between feeling guilty and validated.

I'm feeling a bit twisted about it.

baza Senior Members Tread your own path Posts: 5,556	Better but not Nov 1, 2016 17:42:05 GMT -5 JMX, thefullmoon, and 4 more like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by baza on Nov 1, 2016 17:42:05 GMT -5 If he's still travelling to Morocco and all, a spell in Mosul might be in order. I hear it's nice there this time of year.

Deleted Deleted Member Posts: 0	Better but not Nov 1, 2016 18:20:24 GMT -5 JonDoe likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2016 18:20:24 GMT -5 It is so sad that humans have not grown out of religion. It is so primitive. There is no heaven, hell or gods...

unmatched
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It is what we don't do that we come to regret the most.

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Better but not Nov 1, 2016 18:26:33 GMT -5 JMX, thefullmoon, and 1 more like this

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Post by unmatched on Nov 1, 2016 18:26:33 GMT -5

He hasn't changed at all, at least not with regard to you. He is just reading his script from a slightly different book. He still doesn't want a relationship with you - you and the kids are more or less accessories in his quest to get himself to heaven. (Where presumably he will dump you for the 80 virgins that are waiting for him!) I know you have reasons for still being there and it is difficult to look at other options, but I find it hard to read when you are still seeing him as your husband and someone you desperately want to have a relationship with. I just don't think he has it in him.

Deleted Deleted Member Posts: 0	Better but not Nov 1, 2016 19:00:49 GMT -5 via mobile thefullmoon, bballgirl, and 4 more like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2016 19:00:49 GMT -5 He's gone from being a terrorist to merely an asshole. I don't see much to be confused about.

Deleted Deleted Member Posts: 0	Better but not Nov 2, 2016 11:11:23 GMT -5 via mobile JMX, thefullmoon, and 2 more like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2016 11:11:23 GMT -5 I still think he's unbalanced and dangerous.

csl Senior Members Posts: 895	Better but not Nov 2, 2016 14:35:49 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by csl on Nov 2, 2016 14:35:49 GMT -5 Nov 1, 2016 18:20:24 GMT -5 @lostsoul said: It is so sad that humans have not grown out of religion. It is so primitive. There is no heaven, hell or gods... Omniscience resides with you?
	I blog at curmudgeonlylibrarian.wordpress.com

Deleted
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Better but not Nov 2, 2016 22:16:56 GMT -5 via mobile

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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2016 22:16:56 GMT -5

Nov 2, 2016 14:35:49 GMT -5 csl said:

Nov 1, 2016 18:20:24 GMT -5 @lostsoul said:

It is so sad that humans have not grown out of religion. It is so primitive. There is no heaven, hell or gods...

Omniscience resides with you?

Do goblins exist?

JMX
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Better but not Nov 2, 2016 22:25:03 GMT -5 via Tapatalk

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Post by JMX on Nov 2, 2016 22:25:03 GMT -5

Rose - I fear this is merely an act. I am with @smartkat.

If my soul still wants music and dancing, Church of Christ I cannot be.

Peace to you. Your situation will not change and your husband is only a lesser terrible perversion of your religion.

baza Senior Members Tread your own path Posts: 5,556	Better but not Nov 2, 2016 22:25:23 GMT -5 GeekGoddess likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by baza on Nov 2, 2016 22:25:23 GMT -5 Dunno Phin, but "gobbling" certainly exists (but not in ILIASM environments).

csl Senior Members Posts: 895	Better but not Nov 3, 2016 8:17:57 GMT -5 cagedtiger likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by csl on Nov 3, 2016 8:17:57 GMT -5 Nov 2, 2016 22:16:56 GMT -5 @phinheasgage said: Nov 2, 2016 14:35:49 GMT -5 csl said: Omniscience resides with you? Do goblins exist? Trolls do.
	I blog at curmudgeonlylibrarian.wordpress.com

Deleted Deleted Member Posts: 0	Better but not Nov 3, 2016 8:51:45 GMT -5 via mobile cagedtiger likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2016 8:51:45 GMT -5 Nov 3, 2016 8:17:57 GMT -5 csl said: Nov 2, 2016 22:16:56 GMT -5 @phinheasgage said: Do goblins exist? Trolls do. Very good, I must say!

csl Senior Members Posts: 895	Better but not Nov 3, 2016 8:54:39 GMT -5 DryCreek likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by csl on Nov 3, 2016 8:54:39 GMT -5 Nov 3, 2016 8:51:45 GMT -5 @phinheasgage said: Nov 3, 2016 8:17:57 GMT -5 csl said: Trolls do. Very good, I must say!
	Last Edit: Nov 3, 2016 8:55:22 GMT -5 by csl I blog at curmudgeonlylibrarian.wordpress.com

darktippedrose
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Age Range: 31-35

Better but not Nov 10, 2016 0:46:51 GMT -5

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Post by darktippedrose on Nov 10, 2016 0:46:51 GMT -5

thank you. I appreciate it. And yes, he's gotten a bit nicer to the kidz, but lectures me on hell. My step-daughter (one of them) told me he was telling everyone and their mama but me that he was gonna abandone us and move somewhere .....

But telling me what I'm going to hell for hasn't changed. He's still nicer to his friends than me.

Me and my kidz are just trying to manage.

I appreciate it.

skguy Full Member Posts: 191 Age Range: 46-50	Better but not Nov 10, 2016 12:11:40 GMT -5 via Tapatalk darktippedrose likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by skguy on Nov 10, 2016 12:11:40 GMT -5 You take care the best you can. You're always in my thoughts. Always hoping for something great for you.

mirrororchid: We've compared denier/refuser spouses to prison wardens. Dr. Psychmom has compared them to hostage takers and the unhappy spouse has Stockholm syndrome. Prisoners can't leave. Stockholm hostages don't because they want a good outcome for the captor. Sept 10, 2024 18:54:11 GMT -5

mirrororchid: Heard on a podcast: "Dating is where we present our best selves. Vulnerability is the opposite. Where we risk our partner knowing things that are imperfect. This is the way to forge the life partner bond." Sept 10, 2024 19:17:03 GMT -5

week5of35years: My Wife had 30 free mins before she had to start work this AM... I said.. "lets have a quick shag" and she said she was going to walk the dog instead.... Still work to do.... Sept 17, 2024 3:51:34 GMT -5