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Post by tamara68 on Sept 21, 2016 8:34:28 GMT -5
Stbx had been silent for a few days, so I knew he was busy brewing something. Yesterday when I came home I found an envelope from the police on the doormat.
They ask me to show up for an interrogation because my husband has made a formal complaint about "leaving the marrital house". One is allowed to leave, but during marriage you are supposed to live together. One can not leave without taking care for the spouse. (And I am the provider for the family.) I'll contact my lawyer.
I don't suppose they are going to lock me in.... but if even if they did, can't be worse than in a bad marriage.
This morning the police was at the door as well. (Cute officer btw).
They'll soon notice that I am much easier to talk with than my stbx.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Sept 21, 2016 9:54:03 GMT -5
Stbx had been silent for a few days, so I knew he was busy brewing something. Yesterday when I came home I found an envelope from the police on the doormat.
They ask me to show up for an interrogation because my husband has made a formal complaint about "leaving the marrital house". One is allowed to leave, but during marriage you are supposed to live together. One can not leave without taking care for the spouse. (And I am the provider for the family.) I'll contact my lawyer.
I don't suppose they are going to lock me in.... but if even if they did, can't be worse than in a bad marriage.
This morning the police was at the door as well. (Cute officer btw).
They'll soon notice that I am much easier to talk with than my stbx.
No freaking way! Bet you are so glad you left! Next task is to get the cute officers number  xxx |
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Post by DryCreek on Sept 21, 2016 10:29:16 GMT -5
That's a different perspective.
Expect that your H will continue to pull out all the stops and prove what a dick he is. He can't attract you to stay, so he will try to trap you into staying and generally make your life painful, just because. Swell.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 11:39:56 GMT -5
Welcome to the wonderful world of divorcing a psychopath. He'll do everything he can to keep you there, and when that fails he will do everything he can to punish you.
I don't know the laws where you are, but I assume they recognize separation. At least in my jurisdiction, once you leave the marital residence you CAN'T go back, not you must go back. This is insane and unless your jurisdiction is insane too this will work in your favor by demonstrating how unhinged he is.
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Post by petrushka on Sept 21, 2016 14:21:06 GMT -5
Um yeah .... he seems to think he lives in Saudi Arabia.
So now we can add 'completely delusional' to all the other mental problems.
I wonder if he's moving into psychosis country, his behaviour is so far
'out there'.
It might be a good idea to take out a non-molestation order and/or a
restraining order against him, to secure and document your legal status
as well as discredit him in the eyes of "the law" (i.e. cops, social services,
whomever else he will try to do his work for him).
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Post by nyartgal on Sept 21, 2016 15:19:59 GMT -5
He is completely nuts and scary. You have a lawyer, right? I would get legal advice before you answer any questions or discuss anything with the police! Good luck!!
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Post by tamara68 on Sept 21, 2016 15:41:05 GMT -5
Welcome to the wonderful world of divorcing a psychopath. He'll do everything he can to keep you there, and when that fails he will do everything he can to punish you. I don't know the laws where you are, but I assume they recognize separation. At least in my jurisdiction, once you leave the marital residence you CAN'T go back, not you must go back. This is insane and unless your jurisdiction is insane too this will work in your favor by demonstrating how unhinged he is. I am allowed to leave, but probably financial issues must be taken care off. I'll ask my lawyer and will see what happens. |
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Post by tamara68 on Sept 21, 2016 15:43:52 GMT -5
Um yeah .... he seems to think he lives in Saudi Arabia. So now we can add 'completely delusional' to all the other mental problems. I wonder if he's moving into psychosis country, his behaviour is so far 'out there'. It might be a good idea to take out a non-molestation order and/or a restraining order against him, to secure and document your legal status as well as discredit him in the eyes of "the law" (i.e. cops, social services, whomever else he will try to do his work for him). He has been reading a lot on legal issues and thinks he is an expert now. I don't think it would be good to ask a restraining order. If I'd do that, we will probably also get problems with child care institutions. Besides he is not coming over to me anyway. He is delusional, not psychotic yet I think. |
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Post by tamara68 on Sept 21, 2016 15:44:46 GMT -5
He is completely nuts and scary. You have a lawyer, right? I would get legal advice before you answer any questions or discuss anything with the police! Good luck!! Yes I have a lawyer and I have sent him an e-mail. will call him too. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 15:49:54 GMT -5
Lawyer. Now. And do whatever the lawyer says.
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Post by tamara68 on Sept 21, 2016 15:52:00 GMT -5
@smartkat yes miss  But not now, it is late in the evening over here. Just sent the man a few e-mails to give him something to read before I call him. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 22, 2016 10:17:47 GMT -5
I was going to ask where you live as I have never heard of a spouse having to get permission to leave. But as you mentioned the time difference so I concluded it is somewhere on the other side of the pond.
I would not talk to the police without my attorney present. In spite of all the good things the police do for us you cannot always think of them as your friend. Police earn promotions and raises usually by crimes solved, arrests made or charges filed. So when they have you in a small room and the questions are being put to you, you can't think in terms of it simply being a fact finding session. The ultimate purpose is to determine if there is sufficient cause to charge you.
Women are communicators and you have indicated how much easier the police will find it talking to you than to your spouse. That sort of attitude could be harmful to you. I'm not saying don't cooperate, I am saying think and speak carefully to any question. Look at your attorney before you answer any question as he/she may be aware of implications in the questions you aren't aware of. Good luck
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Post by tamara68 on Sept 22, 2016 10:40:44 GMT -5
worksforme2 I live in Belgium. I prefer going there with my lawyer, but couldn't reach my lawyer today. Don't really know what to do now. Try again tomorrow. I am getting very tired of it all. I don't need permission to leave btw, but spouses are supposed to care for each other and I think one of the things they look into is to see if spouses take responsibility for their financial obligations and also for their children. I will be cautious, but not looking forward to it. My husband insinuated that he wanted to make me loose my parental authority. I suspect he has made a long list of his twisted view of all my faults to make me look as bad as possible. Most likely this way he is increasing the risk that we both lose custody of my daughter.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Sept 22, 2016 11:05:52 GMT -5
Oh god why do these spouses have to make such a fucking drama! He needs to let go. Hugs Tamara. Xxx
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2016 11:06:20 GMT -5
worksforme2 I live in Belgium. I prefer going there with my lawyer, but couldn't reach my lawyer today. Don't really know what to do now. Try again tomorrow. I am getting very tired of it all. I don't need permission to leave btw, but spouses are supposed to care for each other and I think one of the things they look into is to see if spouses take responsibility for their financial obligations and also for their children. I will be cautious, but not looking forward to it. My husband insinuated that he wanted to make me loose my parental authority. I suspect he has made a long list of his twisted view of all my faults to make me look as bad as possible. Most likely this way he is increasing the risk that we both lose custody of my daughter. People like him are so blinded by rage they don't think more than one step ahead, and you're right he probably has no idea what he may be doing. |
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xxx
