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Post by Caris on Sept 12, 2016 19:07:28 GMT -5
So I put a pic up on OkayStupid, as Kat likes to call it, and I got 5 matches. That's 5!!
I thought there must be a mistake, so I played around with the app for a bit, but only the same 5 profiles came up.
So, I took my picture back down as there was no one of interest to me. I guess that's it. No men (for me) even on the stupid site.
I knew it would be hard to find a man compatible with myself, but I didn't realize there is virtually no one to even have a date with.
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 12, 2016 19:59:21 GMT -5
This is now my third try at responding. I did not like how the first two sounded.
What were your executions for matches? If I was on a dating site I would be happy with 5 matches. But that is relative to my geographic region. Maybe in a large urban enviroment there should be a significantly larger number of matches. I really do not know. Does the mean demographics of OKC match what you are looking for?
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Post by Caris on Sept 12, 2016 21:00:22 GMT -5
This is now my third try at responding. I did not like how the first two sounded. What were your executions for matches? If I was on a dating site I would be happy with 5 matches. But that is relative to my geographic region. Maybe in a large urban enviroment there should be a significantly larger number of matches. I really do not know. Does the mean demographics of OKC match what you are looking for? Jim, I saw five profiles in total, and just because OKC think they may be a match doesn't mean that I think they are a match. What it really means is that only five men in my city were not screening me out, most likely. Five men I had no interest in. Maybe it was my age. Maybe because it asked me what was more important to me...love or sex...and I put love. Who knows? There were five profiles in total for me to see. It sounds like you are upset with me, as you had to write this three times. Would you really be happy with only five female profiles to view? Matches by OKC standards just means they fit my age range and they are single. There is a lot more to compatability than those two factors. Anyway, it was just a look see to see who was available in my area, and apparently no one for me. |
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 12, 2016 21:17:08 GMT -5
No, not upset with you. My first two responses sounded too flipant. I am not a big fan of dating sites but I also have no experience with them. I thought that sites like OKC used multiple factors for matching criteria including age range which is why I said 5 in my area sounded reasonable. I am also assuming that most females i my criteria selection would not be using a dating site. I could be wrong.
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Post by Caris on Sept 13, 2016 1:23:47 GMT -5
jim44444, four of those matches are gay, and one is bisexual. What kind of matches are these for a straight woman. I wasn't impressed on the first look, now all they can match me with is gay men. I'll be deleting my account.
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Post by baza on Sept 13, 2016 1:54:36 GMT -5
Well, it hasn't been a total loss.
You had a crack at a dating site, and based on the consequences of that choice, you have figured that that ain't a good fit for you.
That's good information to have.
And, you didn't have to invest a whole lot of time / energy in gaining that information.
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Like so much of life, it is a process of elimination.
You try things, you keep the things that work, you discard the things that don't work.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2016 3:58:52 GMT -5
jim44444, four of those matches are gay, and one is bisexual. What kind of matches are these for a straight woman. I wasn't impressed on the first look, now all they can match me with is gay men. I'll be deleting my account. That's very odd. There must be a setting not quite right somewhere if it's matching you with gay men. I wouldn't be too discouraged if I were you, this isn't about you or a lack of men, it's either a faulty setting or a sloppy service from OKStupid. What happens if you make an account on another service, like Match.com (it's free to make a profile and browse men, if you want to send and read messages, that is when you have to pay)? Also, I understand getting discouraged, but if you're really ready to do this it may take time. New people sign up, so if the initial selection is lacking it may improve any day.. From articles I've read, the most popular time for new sign-ups is aeound the holidays and the New Year, so if there's not much selection now, there are times it's better. You may need to leave a profile up for a period of time. I have a 40-something male acquaintance who had a profile up for a year before finding a relationship, so it's not easy for alot of us. I've investigated the options in theory. It seems easy enough, the problem is I can't keep my emotions out of it, I take everything very personally, which makes it impossible to try online dating and keep my sanity. If you're ready, though, you can do this. It just may be an endurance exercise and not a sprint. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 13, 2016 7:43:26 GMT -5
Don't take it too badly Caris,....I answered about 230(I think) of the almost 300(I think)questions for a complete profile. I got 1 match and she was far away. I live in a rural neck of the woods so I wasn't expecting to get a lot of compatible women, but I thought it would be more than 1. Needless to say I don't bother with OKC any more.
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Post by cagedtiger on Sept 13, 2016 10:59:08 GMT -5
My wife and I matched at around 94% on OKCupid. Take from that what you will.
Also, Match has been dismantling all of things that made the site work so well piece by piece for several years now; at least for the free accounts anyway.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2016 19:27:06 GMT -5
That IS strange. I didn't have nearly as much trouble with OKStupid.
I don't remember how many matches I've had; but more than 5. Before I met this most recent man (the one I was agonizing over on the other thread), I had met maybe 3 or 4 guys. This was guys I met in person. I talked online-only to a lot of other guys that I never met.
(Sorry that I did not take an actual numerical count of how many matches, how many of them I talked to online, and then out of those, how many I met. That would have been good for statistics and research; but I'm a word person, not a numbers person.)
So, I met maybe 3 or 4 of them in person - just one time. With most of them, I didn't really want to see them again and I guess they felt the same about me. No harm, no foul.
One guy did ask me out again, and I agreed to it (even though I wasn't that into him - I wanted to give him a fair chance.) But maybe an hour and a half before we were to meet, he texted me to say he couldn't make it.
I didn't really care. Then, he asked me out again - and the same thing happened. (And once again, I didn't really care.)
I didn't bother to text him any more, but he texted me and asked me out again. This time, I told him no, and I said it was because the past two times we were supposed to meet, he canceled.
He said it only happened once. No - it happened twice (I *did* take a numerical count of that.)
After that conversation, I ignored all the rest of his texts.
Then, I met the guy that I talked about on the other thread.
Maybe your geographic area has something to do with it. I'm oldish myself (52), but I do live in an area where the local economy would attract a lot of men.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2016 20:20:47 GMT -5
My wife and I matched at around 94% on OKCupid. Take from that what you will. Also, Match has been dismantling all of things that made the site work so well piece by piece for several years now; at least for the free accounts anyway. This is not the only anecdotal evidence I've heard of a match looking good on paper when reality had other ideas. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Sept 14, 2016 20:39:49 GMT -5
This is not the only anecdotal evidence I've heard of a match looking good on paper when reality had other ideas. I was an alpha tester back when this Christian's side hobby of SparkMatch as an offshoot of The Spark, circa 15-16 years ago. I think it's good for short to intermediate term dating, but there are too many other non-quantifiable variables that come into play for very long term dating marriage. Even for short term, depending on how truthfully the other person answers questions, there's still a good chance the system is being gamed. Hell, I have a feeling if we were to redo the whole thing now, our match percentage would be less than half and we wouldn't even cross reach other's feeds. |
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