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Post by pinkjeanie70 on Aug 13, 2016 10:08:19 GMT -5
My BF and I went for a good run this morning; we have the best talks when we run. We're navigating dating as adults who have significant responsibilities and trying to find our balance. He shared with me how he felt responsible for entertaining me/filling up my time since I relocated and he doesn't want me to be cooped up. I'm an introvert by nature, so I don't see myself as a shut-in. In my SM, my routine developed into one of where I learned to take care of business and am I very self-sufficient. It was interesting talking about navigating the dating world. He wanted to check-in and make sure he wasn't directing major decisions; I needed feedback regarding his contemplative countenance because he's usually such a chatterbox. Anyway, I have so many hobbies and I'm a worker bee, I reassured my SO that I do get out of the house. We talked about how how easy it would be for people to get married right away, to have comforts of routine. I think we're also both conscious about not being a rebound relationship.
While it's a little scary to start anew, it's also freeing. There have been so many positive risks. Sometimes, it's been bumpy, but my SO has the personality where he wants to discuss what's on our minds. That is a true gift, especially after the experience of a SM. For me, it is helpful my SO knows about my SM history. He's also inquisitive and wants to know. I don't think I could be that open with just anyone.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2016 12:32:46 GMT -5
My BF and I went for a good run this morning; we have the best talks when we run. We're navigating dating as adults who have significant responsibilities and trying to find our balance. He shared with me how he felt responsible for entertaining me/filling up my time since I relocated and he doesn't want me to be cooped up. I'm an introvert by nature, so I don't see myself as a shut-in. In my SM, my routine developed into one of where I learned to take care of business and am I very self-sufficient. It was interesting talking about navigating the dating world. He wanted to check-in and make sure he wasn't directing major decisions; I needed feedback regarding his contemplative countenance because he's usually such a chatterbox. Anyway, I have so many hobbies and I'm a worker bee, I reassured my SO that I do get out of the house. We talked about how how easy it would be for people to get married right away, to have comforts of routine. I think we're also both conscious about not being a rebound relationship. While it's a little scary to start anew, it's also freeing. There have been so many positive risks. Sometimes, it's been bumpy, but my SO has the personality where he wants to discuss what's on our minds. That is a true gift, especially after the experience of a SM. For me, it is helpful my SO knows about my SM history. He's also inquisitive and wants to know. I don't think I could be that open with just anyone. Yeah you gotta talk things over. If you can't do that it's toast. Especially conflicts. Holy bejeezus you're probably seeing this too, but talking things over in a normal relationship is completely different than the excruciating "talks" you endure in a dysfunctional shithole. "Talks" go around and around saying the same things every time, and nothing changes. Normal talking creates resolution. And if you're lucky, makeup sex. |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 12:43:24 GMT -5
Serious honesty is a must. In middle age now, I look back in my younger dating years and I don't see how I managed to tolerate all the bullshit.
It's freeing to be able to tell somebody you are "emotionally slow" by nature. It's freeing to be able to say that you don't even know how you feel yet. That you can't give them a yes or no answer, because you honestly don't know yourself.
If that's where I am, I need to feel able to tell them that. If I fear the consequences of doing that - that in itself is not a good sign.
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