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Post by sodone1492 on Nov 5, 2017 23:07:01 GMT -5
Believe me...after you've had reset sex with him a few times, you won't be able to stand the sight of him. Blech. It's the worst.
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Post by sodone1492 on Jan 24, 2017 0:25:23 GMT -5
It's been a long time since I've logged in. Hope everyone is doing well. Me? My divorce was final 10 months ago....I can honestly say I've never been happier. I'm still involved with my 3rd AP...he left his wife a couple of months ago. He's living in a tiny apartment after living 20 years in a huge house...he too marvels in how good it feels to be free from the manipulation and abusive nature of a SM.
Not sure who is still posting here...Dan? SmarKat? Bball? Bazz? Hugs to you all. xo
BTW..if I'm violating forum rules by posting like this, please forgive me and delete.
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Post by sodone1492 on Jan 24, 2017 0:04:34 GMT -5
When it becomes more painful to stay than it does to leave, you'll find the courage. But I caution you against living your life for other people. This is about you, not them.
I'm a SM survivor...I'm SOOOOOO much happier. I'd never go back.
xo
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Post by sodone1492 on Aug 8, 2016 17:59:05 GMT -5
The carving out of a new life with a new person is an exciting time Sister sodone. - And the background of having been in an ILIASM shithole is the best possible grounding one can have to help you through the transition. You've learned so much about relationships and yourself out of your ILIASM experience, that you can hardly be better prepared to participate in a "normal" relationship. All the pitfalls you know already, from bitter experience. - "Unlearning" the old, learning the "new", growing yourself, nurturing your new deal, all very exciting stuff. - FWIW, I am 6 years out, still "unlearning" the old at times. It's been a helluva trip so far. And so worthwhile. Exiting and scary, Baz. I was married and sexless a looooong time. Glad your experience has been positive..I hope for the same.
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Post by sodone1492 on Aug 7, 2016 17:17:11 GMT -5
For those who don't know my story, I was married 16 years, 9 years celibate. I've been divorced - very happily divorced - for roughly 6 months. My third and last affair partner just left his wife...he hasn't had sex with her in 13+ years. We met 3 years ago...we become friends and then lovers. Now we're both single and learning how to have a 'normal' relationship...no hiding. No hotel rooms. It's odd, but nice.
What an unusual love story.
How I wish I left my marriage years and years ago.
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Post by sodone1492 on Aug 7, 2016 17:04:43 GMT -5
Every second of your life that spend angry with him is time wasted. Before long, he won't be having sex with her instead of you. Let. it. go.
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Post by sodone1492 on Jul 11, 2016 6:20:11 GMT -5
Here's a great 'enough is enough' story. My husband and I were entering our 9th year without sex. Needless to say it was incredibly hard on me. Early one morning I snuck into 'his' room and started giving him oral to see if I could get something going. He let me do it for about 5 minutes until his alarm clock went off....he turned off his alarm and got up and left. I had my first affair about a month later.
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Post by sodone1492 on May 29, 2016 21:15:17 GMT -5
I'm right there with you, SmartKat. AP is busy. Kids are living their lives. I'm feeling lonely and single. It's an odd feeling. Most of the time I love it. Tonight it feels strange.
Nice to reconnect with EP friends again!
xo
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Post by sodone1492 on May 29, 2016 20:48:10 GMT -5
I've had 3 affairs...no regrets. You asked about the logistics so I'll share my experience.
First affair was when I was out of town on business - 9 years celibate. I basically got drunk with another hotel guest. We spent the week together and never saw each other again. It was fantastic. I'm not even sure if he gave me his real name and I could care less because I gave him a fake name too. I just wanted sex and for someone to hold me. Mission accomplished.
Second and third affairs were/are with men I met on Ashley Madison. There are tons of nice guys on there but you have to sift through the rif-raf. The nice guys don't have their pics posted and take their time getting to know you before they send a pic. I exchanged emails with both men for 2 or 3 months before I even met them for a drink. In both cases, the men paid for the room and I bought lunch or dinner. When we'd go out of town, I paid for the rooms. My first affair lasted about 18 months I think. Second is almost 3 years. I'm divorced now and still seeing the second man. Usually we'd check into a room after lunch and spend the afternoond together, and then meet again in the morning.
My advice is to take your time and wait for the right guy. There's a lot at stake so if you want a long term affair, take your time. I'm in HIV/Aids research so I'll add that you should use a condom until both of your are tested twice. 3 months apart.
Good luck.
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