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Post by becca on Jul 12, 2017 12:15:19 GMT -5
Thank you for sharing your journey with us shamwow. Seriously. It must be a good feeling to know that chapter is officially closed and you can turn the page and start your new life. I wish you the best on the next chapter!
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Post by becca on Jul 12, 2017 7:11:26 GMT -5
"One of the main reasons why couples stop having sex isn’t because their relationship has gone sour or they don’t fancy their partners, it’s because they’re so close, the relationship has stopped being sexual." - end quote. Ah yes, the old rising above such things, and ascending to a higher plane, far beyond the reach of the average Joe/Joette where the purity of spirit transcends that of earthly desire and mortal needs, and propels one into the astral world of total serenity and total insight into the soul of the cosmos. Well, it sure reads better than - "I'd sooner blob on the couch and binge watch original Star Trek episodes than root you". I will happily stick to my cave man ways and enjoy great sex than become transcendently haphephobic. Yeah, this simple mind had to look that word up. And nobody says you can't bing watch Star Trek AND root, baza!
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Post by becca on Jul 11, 2017 18:53:00 GMT -5
"One of the main reasons why couples stop having sex isn’t because their relationship has gone sour or they don’t fancy their partners, it’s because they’re so close, the relationship has stopped being sexual."
Huh? So they are so close they are now beyond sex? This doesn't compute. Seriously doesn't compute.
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Post by becca on Jul 6, 2017 9:47:34 GMT -5
Thank you so much for posting this, bballgirl. I needed to see this today.
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Post by becca on Jun 25, 2017 17:00:09 GMT -5
And the cobbler's children have no shoes.
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Post by becca on Jun 23, 2017 11:02:38 GMT -5
I have yet to venture into the online dating world but imagine it can be daunting.
I don't see a problem at all with practice dating. Isn't that really what all dating is? How are you to know if you are meeting a frog or a prince until you have the opportunity to meet them over a cup of coffee.
I am sorry the pool is so small where you live. My only suggestion would be to continue to put yourself out there. If you hike, dance, run, etc. find groups to meet up with periodically. I realize you said you have never found anyone by joining a club but it sounds like some IRL interaction would be beneficial.
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Post by becca on Jun 23, 2017 10:33:10 GMT -5
I have a lover with passion and romance. He is a creative, intense lover but overall has an even disposition and is not crazy or jealous. I am passionate but not crazy or jealous. It is possible to find a passionate lover who isn't nuts. Don't assume that you can't find the whole package. I used to believe all men who were good in bed also were mean and cheaters. I've learned that's not true. Yeah, well, maybe you found the last unicorn. I really hope that isn't true, Smartkat!
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Post by becca on Jun 23, 2017 8:14:07 GMT -5
I guess it all comes down to what your threshold for crazy is, McRoomMate. If this relationship is only 6 months old and you are seeing this intense jealousy, I would be cautious. Very cautious.
Six months?? This is still the honeymoon period. I shudder to think how it will be a few years from now. You have a job. You have children. These things aren't going to change. It would be one thing for her to be jealous of other women but focusing on those reasons for her insecurities sets off my spidey senses.
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Post by becca on Jun 23, 2017 7:50:08 GMT -5
For me it is three syllables, ILLY-AH-SUM, with emphasis on the first syllable. Isn't that four syllables? You are absolutely right. Il-ee-ah-sum. I stand corrected. Emphasis still on the first syllable.
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Post by becca on Jun 21, 2017 12:38:38 GMT -5
For me it is three syllables, ILLY-AH-SUM, with emphasis on the first syllable.
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Post by becca on Jun 13, 2017 21:04:13 GMT -5
This came up on my playlist today. I posted it when I first joined last Fall but thought it deserved a repeat!
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Post by becca on Jun 13, 2017 19:44:09 GMT -5
Thanks for the info on Meetup.com, Dan. I have jumped in with both feet since reading this post yesterday! I joined a kayaking group, an outdoor group, a book club and then just a general group of people who plan adventures from Salsa dancing to trivia nights. Now I just need to pick a meet up to attend. My goal is to do something from the site once or twice a month.
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Post by becca on May 19, 2017 11:46:37 GMT -5
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? The best, when they were alive.
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? My nephew this AM.
03: Do you regret anything? [pause] No...
04: Are you insecure? Yes.
05: What is your relationship status? Married
06: How do you want to die? Loved and cherished
07: What did you last eat? bacon and spinach quiche
08: Played any sports? yes
09: Do you bite your nails? yes, when stressed
10: When was your last physical fight? 17 with my then boyfriend
11: Do you like someone? yes
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? eh...probably 36 was my max
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? No
14: Do you miss someone? Yes
15: Have any pets? 2 dogs
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? Chillin' like a villain
17: Ever made out in the bathroom? yes
18: Are you scared of spiders? no
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? For brief moments, maybe, but not to stay.
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? Too long
21: What are your plans for this weekend? Full weekend of activities but hoping to kayak
22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 2 kids. Grown.
23: Do you have piercings? How many? just a hole in each ear.
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Literature, Philosophy.
25: Do you miss anyone from your past? My parents. I could really use mama's sound advice right now.
26: What are you craving right now? chocolate. Damn Keto diet.
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Yes
28: Have you ever been cheated on? Yes
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Yes, but not intentionally.
30: What’s irritating you right now? Mary Poppin's red corset.
31: Does somebody love you? Yes
32: What is your favourite color? Red
33: Do you have trust issues? No
34: Who/what was your last dream about? I was stuck and couldn't get out.
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? My daughter, on Mother's Day.
36: Do you give out second chances too easily? Yes to 2nd chances. Too easily? Eh, maybe.
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? Yes
38: Is this year the best year of your life? The best is yet to come.
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 13. Real kiss-15.
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Yes.
51: Favourite food? sushi
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? No, but I do believe anything that has happened (even the most horrific events) can be used to strengthen us and make us more resilient, compassionate, understanding and better people.
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? smiled
54: Is cheating ever okay? Too vague. Is it honest? No. Can it save a life? Yes.
55: Are you mean? No
56: How many people have you fist fought? 1
57: Do you believe in true love? Yes, but it takes action, not starry-eyed feelings.
58: Favourite weather? Sunny, light breeze, warm enough to go in the water.
59: Do you like the snow?yes
60: Do you wanna get married? Right now? No.
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? As a love name, yes.
62: What makes you happy? fulfillment
63: Would you change your name? Yes
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? No
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I hope they do like me, we are friends after all.
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Yes
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? My nephew
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? A friend
69: Do you believe in soulmates? Yes, 2 people can have a strong soul connection.
70: Is there anyone you would die for? In a heartbeat.
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Post by becca on May 17, 2017 8:13:05 GMT -5
Nope. Left my sexless marriage for an AP nearly 3 years ago (who I am still with), and can't ever get over it. Probably partly because my husband (we haven't even gotten a divorce) can't let go and constantly for 3 years has been trying to convince me to come back and try again. We had no sex life from well before we got married, as he was really not interested in sex, but now is all in on fixing the issues. I still love him and we can have a lot of fun together, but I'm not attracted to or able to conjure any desire to even attempt sex with him anymore. The worst part is I think I am going to go back anyway because I can't stand the guilt anymore. QQC, I have such similar emotions but I encourage you to not go back due to guilt. What is healthy for you? YOU? Not your current boyfriend. Not your husband. You. Maybe it will take finalizing the divorce and them some time but if you enjoy his company, perhaps there will come a time when you can maintain a civil friendship. It sounds like you are trying to move on but he isn't. He wants what is familiar and what he has known. And I am sure he loves you in his own way but not as a genuine life partner and lover. He clearly isn't looking out for your best interests. He is selfishly wanting what he wants. Period. Have you discussed your feelings with your boyfriend? You have lived with him for 3 years but are still drawn back to your husband, even if just for guilt. Maybe he isn't the right one for you either? I can't know your heart but maybe you need to really dig deep and see if this man is worthy of your body, heart and soul. That could be some of the reason you are still not letting completely go of H. Perhaps his role was to give you the strength to walk away from your SM and he did it wonderfully but now it is time to stand on your own two feet. I am not telling you anything that I don't need to hear again and again. I am only about 7 months into the separation but my H keeps pulling me back in (visits, not sex) partly due to guilt and partly because I just worry about him. Our children no longer talk to him and that breaks my heart for him and for them. He also has pushed a lot of his close friends and even his family away with the drinking the past few years. And I feel so guilty about all of it because one, at the heart of it, he is a good person. And two, I can't help but think I could have done something differently and helped him. And finally, my parents, both deceased, would be disappointed that I didn't follow "'til death do us part". Oy!
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Post by becca on May 9, 2017 8:06:15 GMT -5
My roommate is a couch surfer and we have this group staying with us in a week. I am sure I am romanticizing it a bit, imagining a jam session in the living room that goes into the wee hours complete with bongo drums but they do have a great reggae sound! They have even opened for the Wailers.
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