I love the "do not erase". Between your post, CreelUnion, and bballgirl's post I can tell it is going to be a restless night. Too many emotions!
Your family is tougher than dry erase marker, creel. Whatever happens between you and their mother, you will always be family. And it is obvious there is a lot of love between you and your children. That won't change.
And I believe you are right. It shouldn't be easy.
For whatever reason, your post made me recall a moment from the past. My youngest was a big Lilo and Stitch fan. She loved the quote, "Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind". She wrote it on her daddy's big whiteboard once. Sure wish I had taken a picture. It became her go to phrase and she pulled that damn "ohana" card more than once. I have two rescue mutts to prove it.
Okay, I am going to step away from the nostalgia train for the night and go listen to some heavy metal or something.
From the first day I joined iliasm, I have enjoyed your posts, bballgirl, and could relate to so much of your story. I remember you posting that song "A Better Man" I had not heard it before. I cried listening to it and there are days I can still cry when I hear it. On any given day I am living a different part of that song.
Some days I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that "the bravest thing I ever did was run" but other days "I just wish I could forget when it was magic" and "hoping it might turn sweet again" because there is a longing deep in my heart for something that no longer exists.
Recently our children were about to head off again and we all gathered together at the house for dinner. I can relate to the swarm of emotions that can bring to the surface!
There was something so comfortable and familiar and I wanted time to stop and rewind and go back to a time where maybe we could have fixed it. Maybe we could have been more honest and direct and tackled the problem head on then. For me, I know I long for something that no longer exists.
I know, even for you, it wasn't just the SM. I recall you talking about his neglect, not just of the marriage and family but even his own health. I absolutely believe people can change. Just be careful not to get sucker punched when you reflect back on your marriage through that warm rosy lens of nostalgia.
You deserve the best.
You are an amazing woman of strength, passion and character and please know that wherever this journey leads, it is a pleasure just sharing the road with you.
Joining this forum has truly changed my life. I had been telling myself for years I was going to leave but I didn't. Reading all of your stories, the victories and the struggles, gave me courage to finally stand up and tell my H enough was enough! I think he was as shocked as I was the day I moved out.
It isn't all perfect and there are so many things to still figure out, including an official divorce, but a weight has been lifted off of me. I do have hope now where before I was just going through the motions.
Staying is not your only option. A lot of women like the facial hair and find that attractive. I once tried to grow beard and this girl I like said I looked like a rapist. Ughhh. Definitely do self-improvement and get your confidence up. Hopefully the Mrs notices. Staying is an option. Love is a powerful reason to.
I assume you're referring to my profile pic (which isn't me--although it's pretty close and I do have a beard).
Darn! I was hoping you were Nick Offerman. Hey...it's possible.
No matter where you are on your journey (staying, cheating, leaving) it doesn't hurt to work on yourself. If you feel like you are your BEST you if you lose weight, then lose weight. But I do encourage you to do it for yourself and not anyone else.
What a magical night to share with your daughter! Where I live, there are a group of people who actively look for nests and then rope them off once it is a confirmed nest. Then when it is time, volunteers will "nest sit" until the baby sea turtles hatch.
I haven't seen hatchlings in years. I guess I should get to the beach more!
I agree with h, your hubby was an ass for saying that. Don't adjust your image of yourself because of something he said trying to derail you. By saying that he immediately took the spot light off of himself.
I think it is good that you put genuine photos of yourself up on the dating website instead of the outdated ones. Be you. Embrace you. LOVE you.
I think if you learn to love yourself again, you will also start liking the image in the mirror again. I will never look 20 or 30 and to be honest, it would be weird if I did. I embrace my sun damaged skin (most days) because it reminds me of all the fun I had on the beach and in the ocean. I have come to terms with my wrinkles because it shows I have lived and laughed...a lot.
Happy tears are the good ones! You can definitely change your name. I just believe if someone wants to tag you in the future, they would need to use your original name. But "lonely" definitely doesn't fit any longer!
nancyb: shamwow...many happy returns.
Oct 11, 2017 7:05:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: time for breakfast....I'm thinking a mushroom and sweet bell pepper omelet w. half an English muffin along side....
Oct 12, 2017 7:28:00 GMT -5
johnwyo1: Good afternoon all.
Oct 12, 2017 15:50:09 GMT -5
brian: I suppose it's afternoon somewhere at any given time... and time for breakfast somewhere else... unless you are one of my teenagers, where breakfast happens when they wake up in the afternoon
Oct 13, 2017 6:42:49 GMT -5