4th Of July - No "Fireworks" Tonight
Jul 3, 2016 16:29:27 GMT -5
JMX, greatcoastal, and 1 more like this
Post by timeforliving2 on Jul 3, 2016 16:29:27 GMT -5
I originally posted this story on EP 3 years ago. Given the holiday weekend I thought it was appropriate to re-post. For those who don't know, my situation has since changed and it's no longer a SM. We've been having sex about once a week for a few years now. This story shows some common frustration I think many of us have when we're refused for a ridiculous reason. I wrote this story about 4 months before I put my foot down and started refusing my refuser the daily "kisses and hugs" she needed from me.
I'll re-post the story below and also include the original EP link with comments if anyone's interested.
www.experienceproject.com/stories/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/3294275
TL2
4th Of July - No "Fireworks" Tonight
There are so many good analogies to fireworks and loveā¦ But there are no "fireworks" happening with us this evening... or tomorrow night I'm sure.
This evening my wife and I and our two kids are going out to see a fireworks show, so it will be a somewhat late-night and I'm sure my wife will not be in the mood for sex. Why should she? We've only had sex twice this year (nothing in the last 4 months) and I'm sure she'll be tired tonight after the fireworks. Too bad we can't create our own fireworks. That spark never crosses her mind.
Well, if the evenings don't work, then the mornings should be good, right? Wrong. Case in point: When her alarm went off this morning at 6:00 and the kids were sleeping in until 8:00, she was
awake but there was "no time" for sex. In fact, on a holiday / the 4th of July, there was barely enough time for some kissing, snuggling, and holding each other in bed. She told me that "she
needed to get going and start the day" at about 6:20am (after half-heartedly holding each other and some pillow talk)... because there are only a couple of hours in the day when the kids aren't up yet and she can get a lot of things done more easily. She also said that she doesn't want to just kiss and cuddle for 20 minutes, she wants to "do something" with me. HMMM... I can think of a physical activity that we're lacking... but I'll stop there. Shame on me for having my mind in the gutter. However, I do think if I said "let's go for a walk around the neighborhood" that she would find the time to do that. Maybe I'll test that theory tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow EVENING will also present another GOLDEN opportunity: my parents are taking the kids for most of the day and we won't see them until the following morning. What do I think the odds are of us making love tomorrow night? Zero. I know how my wife thinks. There will be things to "get done".
What do you all think - Should I even "ask" tomorrow? In a way, this is a similar follow up to my story, "No Chance Tonight - Even with the Kids Away." The kids will be away again but I know my
wife would say she doesn't feel emotionally connected *enough* to have sex. Forget the fact that we haven't had sex in 4 months and that we had NO sex in 2012... that doesn't enter into the equation.... and that I feel emotionally disconnected from her BECAUSE we haven't had sex in 4 months (and only twice in the last 18+ months).
Thanks for listening. Rather than the "fireworks of love" that should be going off in the next day or two, I think our marriage is about to "blow up" pretty soon if nothing changes.
I think I will still try to be romantic tomorrow night by going out to dinner and even being romantic afterwards, but I'm not getting any hopes up. There are only so many times you can be rejected and crushed without looking or feeling like a fool.
TL2
I'll re-post the story below and also include the original EP link with comments if anyone's interested.
www.experienceproject.com/stories/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/3294275
TL2
4th Of July - No "Fireworks" Tonight
There are so many good analogies to fireworks and loveā¦ But there are no "fireworks" happening with us this evening... or tomorrow night I'm sure.
This evening my wife and I and our two kids are going out to see a fireworks show, so it will be a somewhat late-night and I'm sure my wife will not be in the mood for sex. Why should she? We've only had sex twice this year (nothing in the last 4 months) and I'm sure she'll be tired tonight after the fireworks. Too bad we can't create our own fireworks. That spark never crosses her mind.
Well, if the evenings don't work, then the mornings should be good, right? Wrong. Case in point: When her alarm went off this morning at 6:00 and the kids were sleeping in until 8:00, she was
awake but there was "no time" for sex. In fact, on a holiday / the 4th of July, there was barely enough time for some kissing, snuggling, and holding each other in bed. She told me that "she
needed to get going and start the day" at about 6:20am (after half-heartedly holding each other and some pillow talk)... because there are only a couple of hours in the day when the kids aren't up yet and she can get a lot of things done more easily. She also said that she doesn't want to just kiss and cuddle for 20 minutes, she wants to "do something" with me. HMMM... I can think of a physical activity that we're lacking... but I'll stop there. Shame on me for having my mind in the gutter. However, I do think if I said "let's go for a walk around the neighborhood" that she would find the time to do that. Maybe I'll test that theory tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow EVENING will also present another GOLDEN opportunity: my parents are taking the kids for most of the day and we won't see them until the following morning. What do I think the odds are of us making love tomorrow night? Zero. I know how my wife thinks. There will be things to "get done".
What do you all think - Should I even "ask" tomorrow? In a way, this is a similar follow up to my story, "No Chance Tonight - Even with the Kids Away." The kids will be away again but I know my
wife would say she doesn't feel emotionally connected *enough* to have sex. Forget the fact that we haven't had sex in 4 months and that we had NO sex in 2012... that doesn't enter into the equation.... and that I feel emotionally disconnected from her BECAUSE we haven't had sex in 4 months (and only twice in the last 18+ months).
Thanks for listening. Rather than the "fireworks of love" that should be going off in the next day or two, I think our marriage is about to "blow up" pretty soon if nothing changes.
I think I will still try to be romantic tomorrow night by going out to dinner and even being romantic afterwards, but I'm not getting any hopes up. There are only so many times you can be rejected and crushed without looking or feeling like a fool.
TL2