Post by ScottDinTN on Jan 27, 2020 21:12:34 GMT -5
[This post is for those that have chosen to stay but have given up hope that anything will ever change.]
I keep catching myself feeling bothered over things my wife does. Recently I started attending a new church group in a home primarily to make new friends since I was feeling so lonely. I never invited my wife to come since she had typically worked on Sunday mornings and then was tired in the evenings. People would often ask me where she was and I would give them some half hearted answer. Someone came out and asked me eventually "Why does your wife never come with you?" I said, you'll have to ask my wife, and walked off. Part of me was upset for having to attend meetings or groups like these without her. The other half of me was glad she wasn't there.
Then, a couple months ago her work schedule changed and a couple weeks ago she decided to start attending with me. She has taken over deciding what food we take, which in my opinion is far too much since were're only supposed to bring enough food for the two of us. Plus I end up carrying it and making multiple trips. We go to the group and end up eating in separate rooms the last two weeks. Last night I saved her a seat beside me for the Bible study since it is normal that couples sit together. She sat with a friend on the other side of the room. Ticked me off. Reminded me why I'm glad we typically just live separate lives.
So, I know I'm not being logical. On one hand, I get upset at times when I go to events alone, or even to visit my family, and she almost never goes with me. But when she goes, I get more upset because she typically wants to control things, we end up bickering, or it just feels fake to me looking like a normal couple when I know we aren't. I am always more at piece when she isn't with me. I know its probably more just not liking being alone versus wanting her with me.
Anyone else experience these same conflicted emotions?
I keep catching myself feeling bothered over things my wife does. Recently I started attending a new church group in a home primarily to make new friends since I was feeling so lonely. I never invited my wife to come since she had typically worked on Sunday mornings and then was tired in the evenings. People would often ask me where she was and I would give them some half hearted answer. Someone came out and asked me eventually "Why does your wife never come with you?" I said, you'll have to ask my wife, and walked off. Part of me was upset for having to attend meetings or groups like these without her. The other half of me was glad she wasn't there.
Then, a couple months ago her work schedule changed and a couple weeks ago she decided to start attending with me. She has taken over deciding what food we take, which in my opinion is far too much since were're only supposed to bring enough food for the two of us. Plus I end up carrying it and making multiple trips. We go to the group and end up eating in separate rooms the last two weeks. Last night I saved her a seat beside me for the Bible study since it is normal that couples sit together. She sat with a friend on the other side of the room. Ticked me off. Reminded me why I'm glad we typically just live separate lives.
So, I know I'm not being logical. On one hand, I get upset at times when I go to events alone, or even to visit my family, and she almost never goes with me. But when she goes, I get more upset because she typically wants to control things, we end up bickering, or it just feels fake to me looking like a normal couple when I know we aren't. I am always more at piece when she isn't with me. I know its probably more just not liking being alone versus wanting her with me.
Anyone else experience these same conflicted emotions?