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Post by mirrororchid on Dec 20, 2019 7:20:17 GMT -5
OKCupid and PlentyofFish. ... A huge problem on those normal dating sites appears to be a lot of married men posing as single. Constant stories of that this year from my friends. Posted by michaelDec 13, 2019 at 1:30am I joined POF. No luck. Most woman don’t want to date married men, and I’m not the lying type so... If you are a good looking guy though and you are willing to lie then I’m sure you will have lots of luck. There's precious little excuse for that on PlentyOfFish I filled out a profile there. It asked if I was married. I was honest. I finished the profile and after wasting 15-20 minutes of my time, THEN it tells me I'm better suited for Ashley Madison and I was unwelcome. So, that's a very good reason you find lying a-holes on plenty of fish. You will find not one honest married man there. First, eff you, PoF, for "punishing" me for hunting while married, you sanctimonious prisses. Second, Ashley effing Madison? The site whose logo is a woman putting finger to lips in the shhhhh gesture? Want to join the 21st century some time? We're almost 20% done with it. Not every married dater is keeping it secret and as odd as it may seem, married dating people can be just as disapproving about cheaters as single people and married folk who have never been in a SM. OKC not only allows you to cop to being married, it lets you match with other married people exclusively. This is likelier to work out better for those of us uninterested in leaving our SM. I got a 40% response rate on OKC when I matched only married women. This, from what I read, is very very high. I don't know how physically attractive I am, but I can put sentences together well, and a dry wit seems to be good bait. Perhaps they also liked that I said my wife was going to know I was dating and I'd prefer her husband know too. Women who want no drama might like that very much and the honesty up front might have been novel. It didn't hurt that I wasn't messaging hotties only, either. Maybe that's part of my high rate. The less attractive ladies get neglected. Given our situation, rejection is a problem we really ought to be trying to help solve in this world. Tinder and Bumble are video games. Not dating sites. Research says women swipe right only on the top 20% of men in attractiveness terms. Like spelling errors on a resume, if you aren't handsome, your witty profile doesn't even get read. Given the 5:1 ratio of women to those 20% men, it should surprise no one that the men on Tinder are not going to commit to anything lengthy. The ones who message back are very likely to be one night stands only. Possibly narcissists too. But if a meaningless romp with Adonis is what you're after? Meh. Go for it. Use two condoms. Those guys have petri dishes in their pants. You're sleeping with every woman that guy has slept with. and every man those women have slept with. Mathematically, you're suicidal to go in bareback and these are the kinds of guys who can demand exactly that. Better find out up front if they play it safe.
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Post by surfergirl on Dec 23, 2019 19:53:52 GMT -5
Before I left my marriage, I wanted to see what sex was like. (I was a virgin on my wedding night.) I went on Ashley Madison as a hot married woman looking for sex and friendship.
I met a really great group of men. Honestly. They were vulnerable, honest, and open with me. I know that seems like an oxymoron, but truly, the men I met and kept were just looking for CONNECTION.
On the flip side, I realize I was a unicorn. I was real. Not looking for money. And my pictures matched me. (That stupid website should've paid me to be on there.)
For females, this is like shooting fish in a barrel. For men, I hear that it's a very difficult thing.
As a divorced woman, I went on Tinder, Bumble, and Plenty of Fish. Met lots of men.
I've had two boyfriends-- both of them from Tinder. I was both of their first dates from Tinder. (Each deleted their profile in order to pursue me.) My feedback is that Tinder has the volume, and once you learn how to screen and select, this is the best platform due simply to the volume. However, the volume doesn't matter if you don't have a screening process in place and a good radar. Milage may vary.
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Post by lostintime on Dec 23, 2019 22:51:32 GMT -5
Before I left my marriage, I wanted to see what sex was like. (I was a virgin on my wedding night.) I went on Ashley Madison as a hot married woman looking for sex and friendship. I met a really great group of men. Honestly. They were vulnerable, honest, and open with me. I know that seems like an oxymoron, but truly, the men I met and kept were just looking for CONNECTION. On the flip side, I realize I was a unicorn. I was real. Not looking for money. And my pictures matched me. (That stupid website should've paid me to be on there.) For females, this is like shooting fish in a barrel. For men, I hear that it's a very difficult thing. As a divorced woman, I went on Tinder, Bumble, and Plenty of Fish. Met lots of men. I've had two boyfriends-- both of them from Tinder. I was both of their first dates from Tinder. (Each deleted their profile in order to pursue me.) My feedback is that Tinder has the volume, and once you learn how to screen and select, this is the best platform due simply to the volume. However, the volume doesn't matter if you don't have a screening process in place and a good radar. Milage may vary. Thank you for the information. Its very helpful to see it from women perspective.
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Post by Apocrypha on Dec 24, 2019 11:51:48 GMT -5
Tinder and Bumble are video games. Not dating sites. I've had good results from Bumble. In fact I'm pushing two years now on a wonderful relationship that began with a greeting in that app. I think part of what distinguishes is from Tinder, with respect to the unbalanced ratio that makes it fish in a barrel for women and the Sahara desert for men, is that the "women make first contact" requirement means that they must have demonstrated at least a flake of investment BEFORE you talk. For women, it cuts the chaffe of unsolicited form letters and "Hey!" notes that turn them off. For men, it focuses attention if you have it - to put a little effort into talking to someone who actually clicked on you and wrote to you. So men can quit wasting time throwing their hat in the ring with a thousand others (which then turns into a numbers game and form letters).
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okiedude
Junior Member
Learning to live with my Situation.
Posts: 87
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by okiedude on Feb 17, 2020 19:52:31 GMT -5
Get your divorce papers ready in advance. You will be caught or something will happen.... If she has that many friends then it will happen. Might find a local hotel bar to hang out at. find one that had a lot of people that show up and you might find that lonely traveler..... But beware because if they will hook up with you they might hook up with anyone.....
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Post by nyctos on Feb 17, 2020 20:52:44 GMT -5
I joined zoosk. It wasn't even really to actually have an affair, I really just wanted to see if any women would be at all attracted. I've never felt like I was attractive... So far I've been pleasantly surprised; while I haven't had a ton of interest I have had some, and the women who expressed interest have been relatively appealing.
I don't really worry about being caught. I'm not actually doing anything, and my W has said she doesn't mind if I have an affair as long as I don't spend any money doing it (and yeah,I pretty much believe her on that, but of course it's almost impossible for a guy to start an affair without any cash outflow.)
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Post by solodriver on Feb 17, 2020 22:48:34 GMT -5
I joined zoosk. It wasn't even really to actually have an affair, I really just wanted to see if any women would be at all attracted. I've never felt like I was attractive... So far I've been pleasantly surprised; while I haven't had a ton of interest I have had some, and the women who expressed interest have been relatively appealing. I don't really worry about being caught. I'm not actually doing anything, and my W has said she doesn't mind if I have an affair as long as I don't spend any money doing it (and yeah,I pretty much believe her on that, but of course it's almost impossible for a guy to start an affair without any cash outflow.) Yeah how does not having any cash interest a lady? lol
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Post by Handy on Mar 9, 2020 18:10:12 GMT -5
Not Ashleymadison vs Adultfriendfinder vs Benaughty but another website for people interested in a sexual partner but more on how that works. atouchofflavor.com/
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