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Post by saarinista on Sept 16, 2019 20:03:08 GMT -5
Okay, everybody. In the "getting a life" category I just hiked ~3 miles through a bog on the shores of Lake Michigan. It was surprisingly fun! Other than regrets over not taking bug repellent with me, I'm pleased that I chose to take this interesting hike. You'd be amazed what you can find in a bog. Please note: this was a bog with trails maintained by the National Park Service. I do not recommend walking in random bogs without clearly marked trails as heaven only knows what could happen to you. Also, I highly recommend bug repellent whether you're walking in a bog or on the sidewalk. 😉
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Post by lessingham on Sept 30, 2019 3:22:40 GMT -5
A great adventure and a lovely picture.
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Post by jim44444 on Oct 3, 2019 21:06:10 GMT -5
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Post by saarinista on Oct 3, 2019 21:34:46 GMT -5
It's amazingly beautiful there. Beverly Shores is my fantasy residence.
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Post by saarinista on Oct 3, 2019 21:42:12 GMT -5
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Post by jim44444 on Oct 4, 2019 5:39:00 GMT -5
saarinista , I will match your ferns and raise you a Chicago skyline at sunset.
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Post by lessingham on Oct 4, 2019 8:46:53 GMT -5
Going to see the William Blake exhibition on Sunday with my sisters. My wife is not going so it feels like a solo adventure. Will find a pub and raise a beer to you all.
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Post by lessingham on Oct 7, 2019 4:16:55 GMT -5
The chilling thing about the visit was my big sister, out of the blue, calling my wife a hypochondriac! She said she was milking the operation to be waited on and I should stop it. It clouded my sleep as I could not stop thinking of the matter. I am an enabler.
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 7, 2019 4:35:44 GMT -5
lessingham., believe your sister. It could be that your wife is setting you up to wait hand and foot on her forever and therefore to never divorce her or lead any kind of independent life. ask your sister what else she has noticed about your marriage.
What kind of operation did your wife have? You have never stated that here. More than likely there are people here who have been through that and can give you feedback about whether your wife has been exaggerating or you have misperceived the danger. There’s no reason for you to keep her medical problems a secret here. You’ve revealed far more personal info about her.
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Post by lessingham on Oct 7, 2019 8:46:07 GMT -5
My wife had her gall bladder removed. Back in January she had half of it removed as it was sticking to her liver and to take the lot would damage her liver. This time a specialist removed the rest without any liver damage. Her lower rib was bruised as they moved it out of the way and this causes her great pain. Two weeks since the operation so she should be recovering nicely I hope.
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Post by northstarmom on Oct 7, 2019 9:14:30 GMT -5
Thanks for the explanation. Glad to hear that while it was a delicate operation presumably your wife will make a full recovery as had been the case for my friends who have had gall bladder removals. Seems doubtful that your wife has a condition that would make it difficult for you to separate from her or not be with her constantly if you decide to divorce or participate in more activities without your wife.
Given your initial post, “dark wings” about your wife’s Illness, I had thought she had a more serious and possibly fatal illness like cancer. Unless there’s more to her illness than you’ve thus described, it seems her operation has mainly been an opportunity for you to wake up and realize that life is short and you don’t have unlimited time to choose a different path than you have.
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Post by ScottDinTN on Oct 9, 2019 13:38:57 GMT -5
I learned one of the mistakes I had made was that my wife was my only close friend. That's why when she rejected me, it felt like my whole life was closing in on me and strong depression set in.
I have worked hard to get a life but I still have a ways to go. I've still not been successful at getting a "best friend" but I have attended some gatherings and go to the movies often. I'm really into moves and even though I often go alone its better than sitting at home. Still looking for a movie buddy. Been looking at video games that I might enjoy. I'm not a natural gamer but would like to have an activity I look forward to do doing when I get home. It gets boring some times. I watch a lot of shows with my daughter and some with my son when he's not busy (19yo). I've gotten them hooked on Scifi. Live long and prosper!
I see the time coming when my kids will not be a big part of my life. Part of it makes me happy as I will be free to leave. But also trying to make sure I have a life of my own for when that time comes since my wife will not be a part of it.
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Post by ScottDinTN on Oct 9, 2019 13:41:21 GMT -5
Okay, everybody. In the "getting a life" category I just hiked ~3 miles through a bog on the shores of Lake Michigan. It was surprisingly fun! Other than regrets over not taking bug repellent with me, I'm pleased that I chose to take this interesting hike. You'd be amazed what you can find in a bog. Please note: this was a bog with trails maintained by the National Park Service. I do not recommend walking in random bogs without clearly marked trails as heaven only knows what could happen to you. Also, I highly recommend bug repellent whether you're walking in a bog or on the sidewalk. 😉 I love your pic. My long term plan is to live in a small cabin in the woods. I love being in the woods and on the beaches.
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Post by saarinista on Oct 9, 2019 15:41:32 GMT -5
Check out Northwestern Indiana. And Southwest Michigan if you like that area. True, there's a lot of snow but you get four seasons and it's not as expensive as some areas. (Well except for the houses I like a lot are usually really expensive but you know what I'm saying. Lol. Deals are available.)
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Post by saarinista on Oct 9, 2019 15:49:22 GMT -5
EVERYONE needs friend and hobbies, even if they are happily married.
Alas, too often we avoid that fact. I'm calling it a fact because it's well confirmed by many peer-reviewed studies . Go to PubMed and you'll find them.
Sadly I suspect we are more likely, perhaps, not to have friends and hobbies if we've been swilling in unhappy marriages. The resulting lack of self-esteem and depression just sap our energy for everything except getting out of bed in the morning. Yet another reason not to stay forever in an unhappy, sexless marriage.
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