DryCreek - good advice and good questions: I make more than twice as much as my husband, and I have a substantial amount in my own account that I inherited from my mom, which he is not entitled to. I am scared of having to pay him alimony and/or fork over some of my pension and deferred compensation. I do have my check directly deposited into a joint account, which my husband pays our bills from. I need to make sure I monitor the account closely after I file and make sure he actually makes the payments, as he has been very irresponsible with it. I should have taken over he bills a long time ago, that is my own fault.
You might still consider having your check deposited to a personal account that you then use to fund the joint account. It puts you in a better position to take control of ensuring the bills get paid if he starts spending the money elsewhere.
Depending on your locale, you might very well end up paying alimony; splitting part of your retirement / deferred comp is even more likely unless his retirement savings is comparable.
As you head into that negotiation, be savvy about tax basis (1031 rollovers on investment real-estate; capital gains exemption for personal real estate), tax-deferred retirement (IRA, 401k), and Roth tax-free retirement accounts - the real value of these assets needs to account for their tax liability (or lack thereof).
Last Edit: Aug 30, 2019 14:20:31 GMT -5 by DryCreek
Hope this does not sound flippant but I am reminded of the old military dictum, no battle plan survives contact with the enemy. As long as you have your plan, you have 100% control of the process. As soon as you initiate it, then you get to deal with the drama and counterstrokes of your partner, which throw your plans off track.
“Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.” - Mike Tyson
Plans are good things to have, but things rarely go according to plan. Gotta have contingencies.
It’s an interesting pattern here that often once someone has a long-range plan worked out, something happens unexpectedly and the plan is put into motion much sooner than expected. But having that plan thought out makes all the difference.
Last Edit: Aug 31, 2019 12:17:46 GMT -5 by DryCreek
frednsa: i saw something on the wedding night (in the 60's) should have ended it during the honeymoon. i was played so perfectly. she is so wonderful in almost every other way, so...still wondering...thinking frigidity is a real thing and untreatable
Aug 29, 2019 12:07:04 GMT -5
worksforme2: Tomorrow is Labor Day 2019, no big plans for the day....thinking seriously of going commando
Sept 1, 2019 11:37:07 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey ironhamster...I just saw your picture on another site and your head wasn't covered. You actually look better without the bandana....
Sept 2, 2019 11:54:55 GMT -5
javba: Dunno Iron Hamster - I have not seen your other photo - I think you ROCK anyways.
Sept 4, 2019 10:11:42 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happened across Tamara68 on another site, messaged her but she didn't respond...
Sept 15, 2019 13:13:02 GMT -5
elkclan2: Dealing with an escaped gerbil. Fun times.
Sept 16, 2019 13:01:50 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: 1. Hope tamara is doing well. 2. Elkclan2, did you catch the critter???
Sept 17, 2019 15:40:05 GMT -5
worksforme2: Tamara answered me yesterday. She and her partner are moving into a house next week. It's probably about as good as is possible. She didn't comment on the situation with her daughter.
Sept 17, 2019 17:46:02 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Thanks for the update; just hope she is happy
Sept 17, 2019 19:49:55 GMT -5
workingonit: Elkclan2 my son's gerbil escaped at the same time as his pet snake. I did not think it was a coincidence!
Sept 17, 2019 20:40:26 GMT -5
hopingforachange: Wow, is been forever since I read the shoutbox.
Sept 17, 2019 21:33:01 GMT -5
hopingforachange: I need to set up another Skype session.
Sept 17, 2019 21:33:16 GMT -5
sme935: Not quite sure if anyone reads it but if there is a female in the Chicago area (40-60 years old) who is interested in chatting with me drop me a message or look at my profile for messenger screenname;
Sept 19, 2019 9:09:33 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Another Skype session would be great!
Sept 21, 2019 10:51:02 GMT -5