Post by worksforme2 on Aug 13, 2019 17:20:33 GMT -5
Sorry to disappoint tooyoungtobeold, but I just couldn't stay. I needed intimacy. I felt in my heart of hearts that I would find ladies in my age demographic interested in sex. I'm not a prophet but that is exactly what has happened.
Post by workingonit on Aug 13, 2019 17:43:18 GMT -5
Fear of being alone forever. (Includes a fear of putting myself out there again. Dating sounds like hell. But I LIKE being married and having my person and I am a die hard romantic at heart. Ugh. Dating) Fear of failing at marriage.
Post by northstarmom on Aug 14, 2019 7:27:36 GMT -5
Lessingham said: “Fear of living in a bedsit, eating junk food. Like a student but without the future.”
What will happen if your wife predeceases you? If you become chronically ill, your wife has told you she’ll dump you in a facility.
If you leave your wife, it will be your choice about whether you hole up like a hermit. And, as someone pointed out, students may be impoverished but live active lives that typically include fun and sex.
Post by tooyoungtobeold on Aug 14, 2019 9:53:39 GMT -5
I have worked in higher education since 2005. There are many things I admire about the way College students live (minus the sloppiness). They have less junk in their lives, spend lots of time with friends or doing activities to make friends, explore new things, learn, etc. Being around them keeps me young and reminded that the best things are the simplest things.
Post by lessingham on Aug 14, 2019 10:47:32 GMT -5
When I went to university in the 70s I took one suitcase. When my son went in the 90s he filled my car and when he left he needed two trips. And he was not the worst kid on the campus! The question was what we fear. I have enough to make sure it won't happen. But the fear is the thing I walk away from. I have many post wife ambitions and dreams.
Reflecting back before I exited my deal the factor which kept me there for so long was the fear of potential harm I would cause to the people I love by splitting our little family. Mainly this was my children but H too, I worried about destroying him and us becoming enemies. In reality none of this has happened. Or anything close to it. I wish I had known that it wasn’t as bad as I had feared.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
solodriver: Thanks warmways
Oct 30, 2019 23:36:15 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: When using a member's username in a post, how does one get it to be in different color and work as a link? I can type in the name but after posting it doesn't look the same as when others use member's usernames in their posts.
Nov 2, 2019 11:37:25 GMT -5
bfar: Just stumbled on this article:https://masculinebydesign.com/sexless-marriage-is-symptomatic-of-emasculated-husbands/ was more than a little disconcerting. Are we digging ourselves further in the hole by trying to be all enlightened and sensitive?
Nov 3, 2019 13:46:42 GMT -5
petrushka: Mate, what's the alternative to all enlightened and sensitive here? Rape? Coercion? Sexual assault? Thanks, but I can do better than being a complete arsehole (or psychopath for that matter).
Nov 3, 2019 21:11:53 GMT -5
bfar: Petrushka... I'm just wondering if we shot ourselves in the foot, as it were, by giving giving up on our strength, and giving in to the feminist agenda of making men irrelevant.
Nov 5, 2019 11:30:21 GMT -5
petrushka: Sorry, I don't buy into that at all. I'm not giving up anything. I've been into the "feminist agenda" for nearly 60 years. Having an empowered partner empowers me. I want strong women around me who take responsibility for themselves and who can face me
Nov 5, 2019 17:20:16 GMT -5
petrushka: I see 'strong men', and controlling bullies, as basically weak, lacking confidence and self esteem -- hence they think they need to assert themselves that way. I loathe patriarchy as much as matriarchy. Partners should be equals.
Nov 5, 2019 17:24:43 GMT -5
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5