Yeah, I considered that approach too, but concluded at best it would result in duty sex which would undoubtedly be crappy boy starfish which was not at all what I wanted or needed. Duty sex is not a result at all. The only way to ensure your sanity is to accept your spouses right to their preference of refusing intimacy with you. Once this is recognised the big question then is what will you do about that?
Yup. Duty sex is worse than masturbation. At least by myself I know everyone involved is into it.
Oh that made me laugh out loud! Yes it sure is a sobering moment to realise there is more dignity in sorting yourself out than halfhearted spousal action.
I have tried to think of a compelling reason or even an argument for your W getting an IUD when she is not sexually active with you. I can only come up with one. I don't know of any medical or psychological benefit for having the proceedure when there is no chance of you impregnating her if the 2 of you aren't having sex. I am afraid this basically puts me in the boat with jim44444. Meaning that she is either currently active or is planning on being sexually active with someone else in the future. Why else address potential pregnancy issues if she is not in danger of becoming pregnant? You may not be the only party that is dis-satisfied with the current state of intimacy in the marriage.
I tend to agree. My ex had a vasectomy after my 2nd child . When our sex life dwindled and then stopped altogether years later I started out sourcing. I had an ablation to stop periods but there is still a chance of getting pregnant and then it would be dangerous. So I went on the pill and told my ex refuser it was to regulate my hormones lol My daughter got an IUD and the pain she went through the first 6 months would have made me have it removed and she still has periods and she still has pain at times the only thing she gained was no condoms. Why would anyone put them through the pain of putting it in and the discomfort after with no benefits. If she isn't cheating she's either delusional as hell or plans on reigniting the flames at home
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
solodriver: Thanks warmways
Oct 30, 2019 23:36:15 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: When using a member's username in a post, how does one get it to be in different color and work as a link? I can type in the name but after posting it doesn't look the same as when others use member's usernames in their posts.
Nov 2, 2019 11:37:25 GMT -5
bfar: Just stumbled on this article:https://masculinebydesign.com/sexless-marriage-is-symptomatic-of-emasculated-husbands/ was more than a little disconcerting. Are we digging ourselves further in the hole by trying to be all enlightened and sensitive?
Nov 3, 2019 13:46:42 GMT -5
petrushka: Mate, what's the alternative to all enlightened and sensitive here? Rape? Coercion? Sexual assault? Thanks, but I can do better than being a complete arsehole (or psychopath for that matter).
Nov 3, 2019 21:11:53 GMT -5
bfar: Petrushka... I'm just wondering if we shot ourselves in the foot, as it were, by giving giving up on our strength, and giving in to the feminist agenda of making men irrelevant.
Nov 5, 2019 11:30:21 GMT -5
petrushka: Sorry, I don't buy into that at all. I'm not giving up anything. I've been into the "feminist agenda" for nearly 60 years. Having an empowered partner empowers me. I want strong women around me who take responsibility for themselves and who can face me
Nov 5, 2019 17:20:16 GMT -5
petrushka: I see 'strong men', and controlling bullies, as basically weak, lacking confidence and self esteem -- hence they think they need to assert themselves that way. I loathe patriarchy as much as matriarchy. Partners should be equals.
Nov 5, 2019 17:24:43 GMT -5
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5