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Hmmmmmm.
Jul 3, 2019 12:27:37 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Jul 3, 2019 12:27:37 GMT -5
Given what you say, it occurred to me to ask, Have you read "no more mr nice guy?" It might save you years of therapy. It took me 20 years of therapy to get this far and it is still hard to make progress. We discussed lots of things and as the problems of my life were wound up eith the actions of women close to me, their motivations and reasons were bound to come up. I know you are being helpful but as Ingrid Bergman says in Spellbound, "try not to biff too hard."
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Post by northstarmom on Jul 3, 2019 13:07:43 GMT -5
lessingham, 3 questions - if you are willing to answer:
1. What are your reasons for sharing a bed with your naked refuser?
2. Specifically what changes have you made due to your 20 years of therapy?
3. What other ways would you like to change?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2019 16:41:43 GMT -5
Speaking for me, a separate bedroom solves a lot of issues. I moved out of "our" bedroom into the guest bedroom almost 2-years ago. It created both a physical and emotional distance that was important to me at the time. She asked me a few times if I was coming back to bed and I stuck with "no". I know she missed the snuggling but I don't miss the frustration and I told her that. As expected, she got over it fairly quickly and probably breathed a sigh of relief that I had finally let her off the hook sexually.
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Post by noregretz on Jul 4, 2019 9:45:35 GMT -5
My solution was similar. I'm also in a separate bedroom 400 miles away in a different state... 😏
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Post by lessingham on Jul 5, 2019 2:48:53 GMT -5
1. I share my bed because it is my bed I have a right to sleep there. She sleeps naked maybe two or three times a year, recently due to the heatwave. Sleeping in the spare room cures nothing, she begs me to come back, promises change and so on. 2. I have learned to like myself and not loath myself. Before I could increase my self esteem, it took a while to even find any. 3. I would wish to love myself.
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