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Post by baza on Jun 26, 2019 18:52:17 GMT -5
Whatever label you want to put on it, if the basis is to sort your own shit out, then I reckon it's a good idea.
Looking forward to seeing the thread develop.
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Post by tirefire on Jun 26, 2019 19:28:14 GMT -5
I've suggested this elsewhere but if you can lift weights, after just 3 months, 3 times per week, you'll wonder why you weren't there all along. It doesn't take long and the benefits are numerous. Confidence, energy, self respect, metabolism. In my case, doing much of what you are doing (self improvement and just lifting your chin) led me to realize that I didn't have any interest in my wife anymore and in fact wasn't going to put up with the crap relationship anymore. Trust me. Try it and you'll be back here saying "tirefire, you are the smartest dude"😂 Message me if you have questions.
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larry101
Junior Member
Posts: 45
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by larry101 on Jun 27, 2019 2:04:20 GMT -5
OP, I find the idea of a FAP to be all about image to be...horrific. Attractiveness is great, but there's a lot more to being a good partner and getting yourself together than being pretty. Certainly, both men and women alike are much more than superficial appearance! My point was that a female can increase her sex rank rather quickly through appearance improvements whearas a man requires much more effort. In my case, my rank had decreased over the years below my wife's. This has nothing to due with long term compatibility, and everything to do with sexual attractiveness. Men rank a woman in seconds based on her appearance. Whereas a woman is more likely to take notice of a man stepping out of drivers seat of a jaguar while leading a conversation with 2 other men. Even if he isn't as handsome as his wingmen. Examples... First, a female. an introverted, half looney 25yr old with no friends pulls up in a 1992 Ford tempo with exhaust leaks and an oxidized hood. She steps out and she's gorgeous. Every man in viewing distance wants to fuck her within secs of seeing her. On the flip side, a male of similar quality steps out of same car looking down at pavement while he heads into Walmart. Even if a female does notice him, the most that crosses her mind is... He's kinda cute. She won't rank him until she learns much more about him.
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larry101
Junior Member
Posts: 45
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by larry101 on Jun 27, 2019 2:16:42 GMT -5
I'll be curious to see how this goes. Some of the "alpha" activities you describe sound more bossy than strong. You're more likely than not to just piss her off. Don't be a "nice guy". You know, the guy who is so nice he gets pushed around. Don't be a dick who is all "alpha". Nobody likes being bossed around. Seek to be a good man. Respect her. Demand respect back. Listen and set boundaries. Don't let her push you around but don't push her around either (you've got ten minutes). This is the foundation of any good relationship. As ballofconfusion tells me often, when a woman stops respecting her man love dies. I've come to believe this is absolutely true. If you respect her, listen to her, love her, and set valid boundaries, and she does not reciprocate? Well, then, Houston we have a problem. You can't change her, just yourself. I applaud wholeheartedly your efforts at self improvement, by the way. But being a pushy, disrespectful "alpha" male is not likely to win her respect or love. Much better to be a good man than an alpha male. I'm not sure why your definition of alpha traits includes pushy, bossy, and disrespectful. I'm none of those and will certainly not strive to be. I may have mentioned this in a different thread, but I'm beta by nature. Because of this, my map includes adding alpha. A high alpha would need to add beta to his map. Balance is the goal! You said, demand respect. Respect is earned. Not demanded.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Jun 27, 2019 6:33:32 GMT -5
I second this idea. For men, the testosterone boost alone from lifting is massive. Id recommend all males getting their T tested. Start lifting 3 or 4x a week (squat, deadlift, bench press, overhead press) then get tested again after 3-6 months. I've suggested this elsewhere but if you can lift weights, after just 3 months, 3 times per week, you'll wonder why you weren't there all along. It doesn't take long and the benefits are numerous. Confidence, energy, self respect, metabolism. In my case, doing much of what you are doing (self improvement and just lifting your chin) led me to realize that I didn't have any interest in my wife anymore and in fact wasn't going to put up with the crap relationship anymore. Trust me. Try it and you'll be back here saying "tirefire, you are the smartest dude"😂 Message me if you have questions.
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endthegame
Junior Member
Posts: 96
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by endthegame on Jun 27, 2019 12:33:09 GMT -5
To add to this thread, 90% of my improvements were psychological. The way I interacted with other humans improved. This comes from looking within and taking some serious hits regards who you think you are verses who you really are. The by product of not being such a dick head is you tend to gravitate to, and attract, less dick heads into your life. My tolerance to being around dick heads also decreased as my standards of friends and colleagues rose.
Along side this I spent some time training, and stopped drinking. These factors combined changed 'me'.
Btw, I'm not young. Training improves a wealth of mental and physical attributes one has. I didn't go gym crazy, just kept fit a few times a week, ate a little better etc.
My x hated this whole process, HATED it. Becoming a better version of me was not on her agenda. I feel it threatened her for various reasons linked to the SM.
I highly recommend not being in a SM, surrounding yourselves with non toxic, non fucked up people and enjoying life as best you can.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Jun 27, 2019 18:18:18 GMT -5
Sounds like the new and improved you deserved better and she knew it. My x hated this whole process, HATED it. Becoming a better version of me was not on her agenda. I feel it threatened her for various reasons linked to the SM.
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okiedude
Junior Member
Learning to live with my Situation.
Posts: 87
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by okiedude on Jul 15, 2019 18:30:15 GMT -5
Whatever label you want to put on it, if the basis is to sort your own shit out, then I reckon it's a good idea. Looking forward to seeing the thread develop. I know this is the normal way but so many people have an issue of know what their "shit" is. I can see this being an issue with me. I am a little chubby and don't take very good care of myself compared to my youth. Sure I make 90% more money and am a great father and husband but I do act very beta over the years. Most men find it easier to just go with the flow and do what the wife wants to keep her "happy" I am sure my wife found me much more attractive when I was more of an ego manic and strong personality to her. I still am a very strong person but not as much to her or the kids. I do enough baby sitting and manager crap at work..... I think that this is a great opportunity to understand that I need to step up and take care of myself first. Either way works out.
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