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Post by deadzone75 on Jun 3, 2019 12:56:17 GMT -5
And then there are times when I knowingly step in front of the rejection train, its light blinding and its lunatic whistle screaming, yet I stand on the tracks.
My wife got back from a vacation last week, and though I knew she was tired from travel and wouldn't entertain sex, I thought I would take a chance and do something unexpected. She was cooking supper and she's telling me about her trip...
(Why do I always want to have sex with her more when she's away on a trip when I don't have sex when she's here, anyway?)
I ask how long she has until her supper is ready and she says 3 minutes. I drop to my knees right there in the kitchen and hike one of her legs up over my shoulder (she's wearing a nighty). I'm going down on her in front of the stove as she's holding a spatula. She enjoys it and I continue until she gets off. Then I stand up and reach around her from behind and use my fingers to get her off again. She asks what about brussel sprouts is so exciting. I think to myself, no way I'm not getting some kind of reciprocation after that...maybe not that night, but at the very least the next day (after all, we are about due for the 2nd of our 3-romp allowance of the year). She doesn't return the favor in any form that night, nor the next day. No sex, no blowjob, no handjob, no flirting, no mention or indication that anything had ever happened in the kitchen.
I wish I would have just stuck with my counter-refusal approach. At least then I could have kept my misguided sense that I was in some way getting even. I can't be the only one who knowingly steps on the tracks, then has the audacity to be shocked and hurt.
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Post by sadkat on Jun 3, 2019 14:51:25 GMT -5
I just really don’t know what to say about this deadzone75. You’d think, after having 2 orgasms, that she would want to return the favor. I can’t comprehend such selfishness, although I know it does exist out there. I’m sorry!
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Post by deadzone75 on Jun 3, 2019 15:01:58 GMT -5
I just really don’t know what to say about this deadzone75 . You’d think, after having 2 orgasms, that she would want to return the favor. I can’t comprehend such selfishness, although I know it does exist out there. I’m sorry! Thanks, Sadkat. The cherry on top is that she is not selfish or presumably so unaware in any other area. And I should be unfazed after 14 years, but it's like...not even a handjob? Really? Woooooww
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 3, 2019 15:08:14 GMT -5
Dead zone, did you ask her to reciprocate? You did get her off during a time in which it was unlikely she could reciprocate. Did you make a move on her later in bed and say something like, “my turn”?
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Post by isthisit on Jun 3, 2019 15:52:30 GMT -5
deadzone75 I am sincerely sorry you experienced this selfishness. I am with sadkat, I’ve just nowhere to put this at all. For me the unexpected and playful approach you describe is what dreams are made of. If I am lucky enough to get a ‘next time’ I would feel very grateful to find a lover with this spontaneous and generous approach to sex. I do not understand your W at all. Intimacy revolves around enjoyment of both giving and receiving pleasure to maximise the fun. In summary- she’s an idiot. I hope you experience better than this in the future, either inside or outside your marriage in whatever works for you. You clearly deserve it.
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Post by deadzone75 on Jun 3, 2019 17:14:18 GMT -5
Dead zone, did you ask her to reciprocate? You did get her off during a time in which it was unlikely she could reciprocate. Did you make a move on her later in bed and say something like, “my turn”? The next day I did mention that I didn't get my turn after the kitchen event. I got that nervous laugh while avoiding eye contact which signals "please let some kind of divine intervention change this subject". Her gestures and small mannerisms are more crippling than any direct verbal rejection these days.
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larry101
Junior Member
Posts: 45
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by larry101 on Jun 3, 2019 17:16:07 GMT -5
My W woulda shut my dinner substitution attempt down immediately. My chances of acceptance only improves from 0% to 10% after 2 full days of wooing. I can certainly relate to lack of reciprocation. My last bj was 15 yrs ago
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Post by sadkat on Jun 3, 2019 18:23:54 GMT -5
deadzone75 I am sincerely sorry you experienced this selfishness. I am with sadkat, I’ve just nowhere to put this at all. For me the unexpected and playful approach you describe is what dreams are made of. If I am lucky enough to get a ‘next time’ I would feel very grateful to find a lover with this spontaneous and generous approach to sex. I do not understand your W at all. Intimacy revolves around enjoyment of both giving and receiving pleasure to maximise the fun. In summary- she’s an idiot. I hope you experience better than this in the future, either inside or outside your marriage in whatever works for you. You clearly deserve it. THIS! Thank you for putting my thoughts into words isthisit!
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firefollower
Full Member
Only you can prevent forest fires
Posts: 154
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by firefollower on Jun 3, 2019 18:27:34 GMT -5
Wow, just wow...don't know how to respond to this...if I gave the W the big "O" she would typically reciprocate mostly out of obligation and proper manners. Also thankful for the women perspective on this...let's men know that we are not crazy.
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Post by baza on Jun 3, 2019 19:34:12 GMT -5
You've been a member here since January 2017 Brother deadzone75 and have contributed quite a few threads, and those threads have attracted quite a few comments. Plus, you've had 2.5 years worth of reading other peoples stories and the comments there-on as well. You're not a 'newbie', you know what's going on, you've seen all the options. In about April 2017 you seemed to be leaning toward the leaving option and there were a fair few responses offering suggestions in that regard, but you had financial issues that were going to take a couple of years to sort out. That's more or less now, June 2019. Is this posting just a vent mate ? Or is there something you are looking for some input on ?
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 3, 2019 19:36:56 GMT -5
Dead zone, did you ask her to reciprocate? You did get her off during a time in which it was unlikely she could reciprocate. Did you make a move on her later in bed and say something like, “my turn”? The next day I did mention that I didn't get my turn after the kitchen event. I got that nervous laugh while avoiding eye contact which signals "please let some kind of divine intervention change this subject". Her gestures and small mannerisms are more crippling than any direct verbal rejection these days. Your w's response sounds like ( and I am no psychologist) she has 'issues' that go way deeper and will always remain with her. Like many of us on this forum endured for years. as long as her fears continue to allow her to avoid changing, you will remain the victim of rejection. And it's not you, it is not you. She will remain this way towards any man, or even a woman's sexual advances. This reminds me of my ex's 'mental wall of protection' --"it's not that important, it really doesn't matter, I can take it or leave it etc..." Your wife may not be an idiot, your wife may be a wonderful person, however your wife has " issues-fears-beliefs" lot's of why's that will never be answered. Yes it is crippling. Is this a tipping point for you? You my friend, have difficult decisions to make.
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Post by workingonit on Jun 3, 2019 19:42:03 GMT -5
Good God I really cannot even believe such extreme selfishness.
But then again I also cannot imagine getting gifted with kitchen orgasms so I guess we have reached the limits of my imagination.
Sorry, friend. This is a shitty end to an otherwise delightfully sexy brussel sprout related tale.
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Post by sadkat on Jun 3, 2019 19:50:04 GMT -5
Good God I really cannot even believe such extreme selfishness. But then again I also cannot imagine getting gifted with kitchen orgasms so I guess we have reached the limits of my imagination. Sorry, friend. This is a shitty end to an otherwise delightfully sexy brussel sprout related tale. Oh workingonit, I just love your sense of humor! But, damn- you also hit the nail on the head!
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Post by noregretz on Jun 3, 2019 20:00:03 GMT -5
Should have ordered the broccoli?
Honestly, takers will take.
She appears incapable of reciprocating. My wife was also of the same tendency... I'm sorry.
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Post by h on Jun 4, 2019 8:34:20 GMT -5
I never would have made it that far. If she was in the middle of doing something and I dropped to my knees next to her she wouldn't have cooperated or allowed me to pleasure her at all. Guaranteed that whatever she was doing would be higher on her priority list than receiving an orgasm. In addition to that, she avoids any extra orgasms because she has this idea in her head that it's only fair if it's 1:1 equal and me giving her one obligates her to give me one (a task she'd rather avoid). I haven't tasted her in several years. The only time she allows me to pleasure her is immediately before sex. I have to give her one by hand or with a vibe before and then she won't let me bring her to orgasm again during intercourse.
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