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Post by workingonit on May 30, 2019 10:06:33 GMT -5
That line is wonderful! I'm that "nice guy", "cute", opposite of creepy. So in fact, if anything I think I need to learn how to flirt in a non-overt way that leaves the door more obviously ajar, so others know there are opportunities behind it. Problem is that right now I have no clue how to do that grrr. Nice guys get kicked in the face. Bad boys get laid but it never lasts long. Seek to be a good man. It's harder to do, but is way healthier in the long run. Love this. So perfectly said.
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spencer
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Post by spencer on May 30, 2019 15:12:44 GMT -5
Sadly very true.
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Post by shamwow on May 30, 2019 18:42:58 GMT -5
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Post by northstarmom on May 30, 2019 18:59:48 GMT -5
The article says a good man is “sweet.” I always have viewed that adjective when applied to a man as indicating one’s mother would rejoice that you are dating him but he is not sexy at all and is a dud in bed.
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Post by Handy on May 30, 2019 19:44:24 GMT -5
1. He makes you feel relaxed.== Important and a good trait. 2. He makes you happy. This is good to a point. == Depending on someone else to make you happy can turn into a burden for the giver. 3. You’re attracted to him.== This sounds like a necessity. 4. He’s loyal. == Also a necessity. 5. He’s a good listener. == Good to a point. Back fires if one person does most of the listening. 6. He’s thoughtful and romantic. == Thoughtful-yes. Romantic some times-OK. Romantic all of the time, well life is hard sometimes and it is time for practical. 7. He’s sweet.== How about considerate? 8. He appreciates you.== Appreciates you and others worth of appreciation. 9. He fits into your life. == Yes, very important. 10. He’s willing to do anything for you. == WHO!! Anything? This leads to taking advantage of a person.
About #5, a listener? That back-fired on me. Some people just wound up to be motor-mouth types that talk most of the time about crap I had no interest in. I felt dumped on.
About #10 leads to one person taking advantage of the other person. I found 100% trust allows one person to do things that leads to an um-balanced relationship.
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Post by baza on May 30, 2019 20:16:23 GMT -5
Meanwhile, back at the original thread pertaining to outsourcing / cheating ....
T think that whatever you end up choosing to do, you've got to take ownership of.
You are currently experiencing the consequences (good or bad) of the choices you made some years back. You need to own that.
And, whatever you choose to do today will result in consequences (good or bad) tomorrow. And you need to own that too.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on May 31, 2019 8:37:34 GMT -5
On the outsourcing options...there is a lot of hurt people out there in the world.
Some of them really traumatized and act accordingly.
Rule #1 of outsourcing. Dont fuck crazy. You cant unfuck crazy.
Be careful.
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Post by angeleyes65 on May 31, 2019 9:51:20 GMT -5
On the outsourcing options...there is a lot of hurt people out there in the world. Some of them really traumatized and act accordingly. Rule #1 of outsourcing. Dont fuck crazy. You cant unfuck crazy. Be careful. That is no shit. Get to know them as well as possible before crawling between the sheets. And single people can be dangerous if you are married.
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Post by ironhamster on May 31, 2019 10:05:19 GMT -5
On the outsourcing options...there is a lot of hurt people out there in the world. Some of them really traumatized and act accordingly. Rule #1 of outsourcing. Dont fuck crazy. You cant unfuck crazy. Be careful. That is no shit. Get to know them as well as possible before crawling between the sheets. And single people can be dangerous if you are married. Be up front about your situation, and be careful about your identity. I had a scammer on Tinder try to blackmail me.
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spencer
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Post by spencer on May 31, 2019 11:31:55 GMT -5
Yes I became very obvious from the profiles and conversations online that most were up to no good. Extortion or paid to be on the sites to get more money out of the sites subscribers.
I agree that proceeding with great caution is required. However I have to find the opportunities first!
Someone that falls for you deeply can be a problem too, sex and emotions are so strongly linked one comes with the other.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on May 31, 2019 14:24:41 GMT -5
Stay away from the singles...you need "mutually assured destruction". That is, the stakes are equally high for both parties if the affair is discovered. A single has higher leverage in that he/she will have less to lose by coming clean. On the outsourcing options...there is a lot of hurt people out there in the world. Some of them really traumatized and act accordingly. Rule #1 of outsourcing. Dont fuck crazy. You cant unfuck crazy. Be careful. That is no shit. Get to know them as well as possible before crawling between the sheets. And single people can be dangerous if you are married.
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Post by ironhamster on May 31, 2019 19:27:26 GMT -5
After my debacle, I was talking with one of my female friends about cheating options. She was in an open marriage, and had a full roster which I was not on. One of the other guys she knew sought out marrried women, being married and "cheating" himself, because he figured they had more to lose than he did.
That is relatively safe advice, but your pool of potential partners just shrunk significantly.
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Post by ironhamster on May 31, 2019 19:33:34 GMT -5
...now, you have another problem. Where do you meet. When the divorce finally happens your wife will hire a lawyer out to spend every hour he can to get more money out of you, and one way he will do it is by sifting through your subpoenad bank records looking for expenses involved in the affair. All of those expenses he can show become "depleting marital assets" and you will pay again in the divorce settlement if that is what the laws of your state demand. Gifts, hotel room rental, dinners out... You pay twice.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on May 31, 2019 21:49:58 GMT -5
Excellent point. You buy prepaid credit cards with cash. Outsourcing doesnt come cheap. First meets can be cheap by meeting in a car in a public parking like the mall or starbucks. You can talk and get to know each other. ...now, you have another problem. Where do you meet. When the divorce finally happens your wife will hire a lawyer out to spend every hour he can to get more money out of you, and one way he will do it is by sifting through your subpoenad bank records looking for expenses involved in the affair. All of those expenses he can show become "depleting marital assets" and you will pay again in the divorce settlement if that is what the laws of your state demand. Gifts, hotel room rental, dinners out... You pay twice.
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