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Post by sadkat on Oct 4, 2019 17:20:23 GMT -5
It is interesting to look at the members original post I reckon. Yours, Sister sadkat , was on August 2 2018 and the difference between that post and your current is pretty startling. Good on you Sister. I'm betting that your August - October 2020 situation is going to be even better. Thank you baza. I remember not liking your comments at all when I initially joined but, as usual, they were right on point! I hope you are right about the next year! I’m sure due for some sunshine and rainbows!
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Post by sadkat on Oct 4, 2019 17:21:26 GMT -5
sadkat I was just going to email you. Congratulations you are out! I know it is all so hard that's what makes it such an accomplishment . I didn't rush to divorce either not because I was wavering but just having a separate address was so much better the paperwork was the small easy part. I have to say I didn't cry when I got the final papers.. I hope things just continue to get better to the point you can't hardly wipe the smile off your face,! Welcome to post ILlASM! Thank you angeleyes65! I appreciate your support and guidance!
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Post by sadkat on Oct 4, 2019 17:22:38 GMT -5
I’m due for a update so here goes... The house sold and we closed on September 27. The house was the last financial item that bound us. We split the profit from the sale evenly. I hit the road on September 28 toward my new zip code and my new life. Now I start the process of rebuilding. There’s still much left to do on the dissolution of our marriage. H has agreed to file a separation without lawyer involvement. That’s my next step. I didn’t have it in me emotionally or mentally to do it before I left. There was no conflict throughout the entire process of selling the house, separating assets, packing up possessions, and leaving. I believe the separation will go through with little fanfare and I’m not in too much of a hurry to get it done. The only concern would be protection of my financial future should he do something stupid. I highly doubt he will but it’s better to be safe than sorry, as they say. I’ll admit to being very conflicted and very sad when the day finally came to say goodbye to the home where I raised my son, to the city where I lived the majority of my adult life, and most especially to the man I married 26 years ago. This was not easy and I could never have done it without the help of those of you on this forum. To those who have been with me every step of the way (you know who you are), I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Congratulations sadkat on your strength and resolution to make a new life for yourself. You deserve every success and I am in awe of you. Now go and find a Mr Wonderful and start backfilling the previous couple of barren decades 😃. isthisit- you know I couldn’t have done this without you! Thank you!!!
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Post by sadkat on Oct 4, 2019 17:24:10 GMT -5
Yay sadkat ! I think it is normal and probably good for you to feel sad with this change. Mourning should be part of a healthy reponse to the end of a relationship and the start of a whole new reality. You are a brave, strong, loving woman and I am excited to read all about what will unfold in the next year!! Thank you workingonit! Your encouragement means a lot. Let me know if you need my help navigating those muddy waters. It’s no easy feat for sure!
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Post by deadzone75 on Oct 4, 2019 20:26:42 GMT -5
I’m due for a update so here goes... The house sold and we closed on September 27. The house was the last financial item that bound us. We split the profit from the sale evenly. I hit the road on September 28 toward my new zip code and my new life. Now I start the process of rebuilding. There’s still much left to do on the dissolution of our marriage. H has agreed to file a separation without lawyer involvement. That’s my next step. I didn’t have it in me emotionally or mentally to do it before I left. There was no conflict throughout the entire process of selling the house, separating assets, packing up possessions, and leaving. I believe the separation will go through with little fanfare and I’m not in too much of a hurry to get it done. The only concern would be protection of my financial future should he do something stupid. I highly doubt he will but it’s better to be safe than sorry, as they say. I’ll admit to being very conflicted and very sad when the day finally came to say goodbye to the home where I raised my son, to the city where I lived the majority of my adult life, and most especially to the man I married 26 years ago. This was not easy and I could never have done it without the help of those of you on this forum. To those who have been with me every step of the way (you know who you are), I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Congratulations to you!! One would be hard-pressed to find anyone who deserves the happiness that you are now free to seek more than you! Your courage is an inspiration!
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Post by worksforme2 on Oct 4, 2019 20:39:21 GMT -5
Congratulations, now let's see that girl power tattoo put to some good use.
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Post by sadkat on Oct 5, 2019 0:28:32 GMT -5
I’m due for a update so here goes... The house sold and we closed on September 27. The house was the last financial item that bound us. We split the profit from the sale evenly. I hit the road on September 28 toward my new zip code and my new life. Now I start the process of rebuilding. There’s still much left to do on the dissolution of our marriage. H has agreed to file a separation without lawyer involvement. That’s my next step. I didn’t have it in me emotionally or mentally to do it before I left. There was no conflict throughout the entire process of selling the house, separating assets, packing up possessions, and leaving. I believe the separation will go through with little fanfare and I’m not in too much of a hurry to get it done. The only concern would be protection of my financial future should he do something stupid. I highly doubt he will but it’s better to be safe than sorry, as they say. I’ll admit to being very conflicted and very sad when the day finally came to say goodbye to the home where I raised my son, to the city where I lived the majority of my adult life, and most especially to the man I married 26 years ago. This was not easy and I could never have done it without the help of those of you on this forum. To those who have been with me every step of the way (you know who you are), I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Congratulations to you!! One would be hard-pressed to find anyone who deserves the happiness that you are now free to seek more than you! Your courage is an inspiration! Thank you deadzone75! Your encouragement and humor carried me through some very challenging times. I’ll always be grateful!
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Post by sadkat on Oct 5, 2019 0:29:58 GMT -5
Congratulations, now let's see that girl power tattoo put to some good use. You know it! (as soon as I recover). I’m fighting against the urge to hibernate at the moment.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Oct 5, 2019 7:29:47 GMT -5
I know you moved was it a move that made it necessary to change jobs? I moved to a different area but same job and friends and could still see my adult life. I haven't lived close to family since I got married in 82. If everything changed for you it's even more challenging . Don't let moss grow under your feet start creating your new normal. Soon it will be the holidays and that's a challenge all on its own.
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Post by sadkat on Oct 5, 2019 8:52:47 GMT -5
I know you moved was it a move that made it necessary to change jobs? I moved to a different area but same job and friends and could still see my adult life. I haven't lived close to family since I got married in 82. If everything changed for you it's even more challenging . Don't let moss grow under your feet start creating your new normal. Soon it will be the holidays and that's a challenge all on its own. angeleyes65- my job is virtual in nature so I did not have to change anything. However, the very nature of a virtual job is that you are alone the majority of the time. It doesn’t make for an easy outlet for social activities. I hear you- I’m working hard to find ways to get out there and meet people. I’m fortunate in that I do have a good friend living here and my family is not that far away (at least not as far away as they were). Believe me- I am not looking forward to the challenges the Holidays will bring and I’m doing my best to prepare for that.
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sunnysean
Junior Member
Posts: 59
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by sunnysean on Oct 5, 2019 11:25:12 GMT -5
I totally am with you on the "Virtual" job issue. I don't have a virtual job, but I went from working with 100's of people to working alone by myself. I have clients, but the interactions with them are limited. It can get lonely. It's good to think about it and purposely develop some strategies to help with the loneliness.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Oct 5, 2019 11:40:05 GMT -5
When I was married I passed on working from home lived in the country already didn't want to be more cut off. Since then the company downsized so I am the only full time employ in my part of the building. But now I'm trying to find a remote position tired of commuting and live in town. Its good you have a friend there and are closer to family. Can join meet up groups also. I enjoyed getting up and watching the birds and drinking my coffee. It was nice not having to avoid him lol. I crank the music while I clean. New habits just happen you got this!
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Post by sadkat on Oct 5, 2019 13:45:23 GMT -5
When I was married I passed on working from home lived in the country already didn't want to be more cut off. Since then the company downsized so I am the only full time employ in my part of the building. But now I'm trying to find a remote position tired of commuting and live in town. Its good you have a friend there and are closer to family. Can join meet up groups also. I enjoyed getting up and watching the birds and drinking my coffee. It was nice not having to avoid him lol. I crank the music while I clean. New habits just happen you got this! I agree with you. I’m so looking forward to creating new habits. I believe part of my problem is that I’m in a temporary living space while my apartment is being readied for occupancy. I will be moving in next week and am looking forward to putting down new roots. For now, I’m in limbo which I think might be a major factor in how I’m feeling.
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Post by sadkat on Oct 5, 2019 13:48:09 GMT -5
I totally am with you on the "Virtual" job issue. I don't have a virtual job, but I went from working with 100's of people to working alone by myself. I have clients, but the interactions with them are limited. It can get lonely. It's good to think about it and purposely develop some strategies to help with the loneliness. Years ago, I went from interacting with hundreds of people daily to a virtual job. It was quite the adjustment! I’m very aware of the importance of social interaction and do my best to seek it. It’s not my natural inclination as I’m a true introvert.
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Post by choosinghappy on Oct 22, 2019 19:33:28 GMT -5
Congratulations sadkat! I’m proud of you. I hope things have been feeling better for you over the last couple weeks as, I assume, you are in more permanent housing. ❤️
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