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Post by bballgirl on Jul 3, 2019 11:37:37 GMT -5
When I married my husband, it was to solidify our relationship we had been in for over two years. I married him because I loved him, and we were having sex or making love (there is a difference) at least two times a day. And then the SM started. We have now been married 10 years and our sex consists of him doing heavy foreplay and getting me excited, and then him rolling over to go to sleep, leaving me sexually frustrated. If I attempt to get things to go further, he tells me he has to go to work early and is too tired. I started thinking about what I asked of him when we got married. I had one request and that was that he love me, which I believe he does. I didn’t ask him to make love to me, despite him telling me before we got married that if I couldn’t keep up with him sexually, we were done. Now the shoe is in the other foot. Do I leave him because he is the one who can’t keep up with me sexually, or stay in a relationship because of love, and believing he deeply cares for me despite no sex? In reviewing what you stated, I believe we can be in love with someone (hook, line and sinker) and we can also love someone but not be in love with them. Do I stay in the SM and continue on and have a mister on the side for sex, or do I allow my sexual needs to dry up and continue to feel unwanted sexually? I watched the struggles my parents had after my father had three heart attacks and tried everything to get an erection (pills, shots, butt plugs, cockrings, etc.), along with counseling. I have tried to get my husband to consider a cockring or even therapy. One minute he admits he has an issue, and the next it’s suddenly my problem and not him. The part of this that disturbs me the most is the foreplay and getting you excited and then he stops. That is mean but people treat us the way we allow them to treat us and I would either tell him to knock it off when he touches me knowing that it’s not going anywhere OR I would passive aggressively finish myself off in a very loud manner and then shout out “Matthew McConneaghy” or whoever gets you off. Then I would start again and go for round two by myself! That is not cool what he does.
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Post by thefullmoon on Jul 4, 2019 13:49:44 GMT -5
When I married my husband, it was to solidify our relationship we had been in for over two years. I married him because I loved him, and we were having sex or making love (there is a difference) at least two times a day. And then the SM started. We have now been married 10 years and our sex consists of him doing heavy foreplay and getting me excited, and then him rolling over to go to sleep, leaving me sexually frustrated. If I attempt to get things to go further, he tells me he has to go to work early and is too tired. I started thinking about what I asked of him when we got married. I had one request and that was that he love me, which I believe he does. I didn’t ask him to make love to me, despite him telling me before we got married that if I couldn’t keep up with him sexually, we were done. Now the shoe is in the other foot. Do I leave him because he is the one who can’t keep up with me sexually, or stay in a relationship because of love, and believing he deeply cares for me despite no sex? In reviewing what you stated, I believe we can be in love with someone (hook, line and sinker) and we can also love someone but not be in love with them. Do I stay in the SM and continue on and have a mister on the side for sex, or do I allow my sexual needs to dry up and continue to feel unwanted sexually? I watched the struggles my parents had after my father had three heart attacks and tried everything to get an erection (pills, shots, butt plugs, cockrings, etc.), along with counseling. I have tried to get my husband to consider a cockring or even therapy. One minute he admits he has an issue, and the next it’s suddenly my problem and not him. Sorry, maybe it is daft question to ask why you don't ask him- Where are my orgasms, why you avoid bring me to the top? Is it becouse you find it impossible to put in words yourself or it just happened, that you don't talk about sex... it looks like the cruelest form of passive agressive action...
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Post by angeleyes65 on Jul 5, 2019 18:57:15 GMT -5
I lost my faith in marriage too. But not love. To me it just became paperwork and a hurdle when ending a relationship. Now that I'm in another relationship that's very fulfilling I come across several reasons that marriage would be good. Some solid practical reasons and some emotional. Practical ..medical insurance and what happens if one of us dies. Emotional ..we took a vacation and had to fill out custom forms one per family. We live together but legally we are not family by blood or marriage it made me sad. I consider him family. Then I have a grandson but technically my boyfriend is not his grandpa but he is the one spending time with him.
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Post by warmways on Jul 6, 2019 18:53:05 GMT -5
Smith227 said: “I left my SM a little over a month ago and feel nothing.” Sounds normal. It takes a while to heal from the trauma of a SM. I agree. It takes time. I’m feeling the same as Smith227.
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Post by warmways on Jul 6, 2019 18:54:37 GMT -5
When I married my husband, it was to solidify our relationship we had been in for over two years. I married him because I loved him, and we were having sex or making love (there is a difference) at least two times a day. And then the SM started. We have now been married 10 years and our sex consists of him doing heavy foreplay and getting me excited, and then him rolling over to go to sleep, leaving me sexually frustrated. If I attempt to get things to go further, he tells me he has to go to work early and is too tired. I started thinking about what I asked of him when we got married. I had one request and that was that he love me, which I believe he does. I didn’t ask him to make love to me, despite him telling me before we got married that if I couldn’t keep up with him sexually, we were done. Now the shoe is in the other foot. Do I leave him because he is the one who can’t keep up with me sexually, or stay in a relationship because of love, and believing he deeply cares for me despite no sex? In reviewing what you stated, I believe we can be in love with someone (hook, line and sinker) and we can also love someone but not be in love with them. Do I stay in the SM and continue on and have a mister on the side for sex, or do I allow my sexual needs to dry up and continue to feel unwanted sexually? I watched the struggles my parents had after my father had three heart attacks and tried everything to get an erection (pills, shots, butt plugs, cockrings, etc.), along with counseling. I have tried to get my husband to consider a cockring or even therapy. One minute he admits he has an issue, and the next it’s suddenly my problem and not him.
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Post by warmways on Jul 6, 2019 18:56:47 GMT -5
My ex did the exact same thing with getting me excited and then just stopping and falling asleep.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jul 6, 2019 20:52:58 GMT -5
I started thinking about what I asked of him when we got married. I had one request and that was that he love me, which I believe he does. I didn’t ask him to make love to me, despite him telling me before we got married that if I couldn’t keep up with him sexually, we were done. Now the shoe is in the other foot. Do I leave him because he is the one who can’t keep up with me sexually, or stay in a relationship because of love, and believing he deeply cares for me despite no sex? In reviewing what you stated, I believe we can be in love with someone (hook, line and sinker) and we can also love someone but not be in love with them. Some thoughts to back your beliefs about the meaning of marriage and love. Yes you can love a relative, a family member, a neighbor, a good friend, a pet, and a fellow soldier who you are willing to give your life for. But none of these people have an agreement with you to be "THE only one to fulfill your sexual and intimacy needs". That is where the marriage comes in. Once a W or H decides to force their celibacy upon you, they are the one breaking their vows " to have and to hold, to honor and respect, to love and to cherish" not you.
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