|
Post by Chatter Fox on May 6, 2019 12:23:18 GMT -5
Still married
Haven't had sex in 1 and a half years
...but.. I'm happy in many ways. I love our family. I don't want to break us up. Our home is a happy one with lots of laughter and love.
It's not her fault. I'm still not sure what the true problem is but I'm almost positive it has something to do with a history of sexual abuse on her end.
It's not my fault. I tried all I could and the best we get is a reset.
I'm not angry about it anymore. I'm not depressed about it anymore. I'm not in denial ...or bargaining. I've truly accepted it. ...this wont change.
I stay because deep down inside, I want to. It's the lesser of two evils for me.
But god damn do I struggle. There is a force within me that I'm holding back. And some days I really struggle to contain it. I've had a lot of virtual flings. I've even had opportunities to meet some in person. Yet I try not to go there. I kind of dont want that on my record. I've already done enough that will be hard to explain to someone who hasnt been there.
But I just keep soldiering on.
|
|
|
Post by jim44444 on May 6, 2019 12:32:32 GMT -5
You have made a valid choice. But it is a choice each day, maybe you will continue for years to make this choice or maybe tomorrow you will choose differently. But no matter it is still your choice and as such you are not a victim. Choosing your path goes a long way to reducing the anger and the anxiety.
You say it is not your wife's fault and it probably isn't but it is her responsibility to proactively address her issues. And if she does not then that is her fault.
|
|
|
Post by baza on May 6, 2019 18:51:49 GMT -5
By your metric Brother Chatter Fox , the set of problems involved in staying in an ILIASM deal are preferable to the set of problems being single involves. That's a perfectly valid choice. It also reads like you are past apportioning blame as to who caused the situation to develop into what it did become. That's pretty healthy I reckon....if you are choosing to stay there's not much point in blaming your missus for that choice. That choice is entirely on you. Anyway, there is a level of serenity to be had once you make - and own - your choice (whatever that choice might be) so good on you.
|
|