Post by choosinghappy on Apr 6, 2019 20:51:38 GMT -5
My guy and I had the opportunity to go to a fancy event last night. We got all dressed up and I wore a lovely dress that I felt great in all night long. I felt beautiful and sexy and I received compliments galore.
A few years ago I wore that same dress to an event with my ex. The feelings I had that time vs this time were night and day. When with a “partner” who did not desire me, did not comment on the way I looked, barely even LOOKED at me for God’s sake!!, I felt self-conscious all night in such a slinky, form-fitting dress. I remember how I felt that night: no one to set my mind at ease, no one to tell me I looked beautiful, no one to care. I felt alone and uneasy.
And then there was last night. tirefire was full of compliments, couldn’t keep his eyes off of me, kept touching and admiring my curves... I was beaming all night. It’s no wonder why I received compliments; I was confident and happy. I felt beautiful. Oh, and I’m about 15 lbs and one size larger NOW than I was then. But the happiness shone through.
It was a wonderful time. Little by little, together TF and I are breaking down each one of those old, shitty memories from our SM years and replacing them with light and happiness and love. I fucking love Opposite Land.
June 15 2017. "LonelyWifey" joins our *happy* band of siblings. Obviously smart, obviously articulate, obviously funny. And obviously beaten down by her ILIASM shithole.
22 months later "LonelyWifey has been ditched, and choosinghappy has stepped into the limelight.
Actually, "choosinghappy" was always there I think .... she just needed letting loose, and once let loose, she did the rest of the job.
Thanks baza. Yes, in less than 2 years my life is so different and SO much better. The biggest change is now being in my own home and making it exactly what I want -happy, homey, full of positive energy. In leaving my SM 10 months ago, I finally lost that oppressive feeling in my life. I used to dread coming home if my ex was there. I used to dread weekends because it meant we’d see more of each other. I used to dread so much and I lived in this half-asleep state, never really feeling too much because then I’d have to confront how miserable I truly was. Every day now I am grateful for my “new life” and happy that I took that difficult step and made the change. I have a new lease on life.
So wonderful to hear! Confidence is powerful and makes one shine from the inside out. While I do believe it is primarily an inside job, you've just proven how much easier it is to feed one's self-confidence when someone outside is helping you do so. A few kind words from the one we love can go a long, long way to helping that smile stay on our face. 🙂🙂 Thanks for sharing your happy moment!
The differences are amazing aren't they? From dreading weekends because it was more time together to thinking the weekends fly by too fast not enough time together! From dreading your spouse getting home to can't hardly wait till he gets home. So happy for you and glad you enjoyed your night!
I never thought I'd quote Beyoncé but "A woman is most beautiful when she smiles." choosinghappy was simply radiant in her gown on Friday. Her smile lights the room. So it's hard to picture her any other way. My point is that we all look best when we are in a positive relationship with someone that tells us the truth about how amazing they think we look. I felt so different than I did a couple of years back because she told me I looked handsome. So I was smiling and felt great. So the real lesson I guess is I'm so damn happy we got out of our crappy relationships and met each other. Maybe this can be inspirational to anyone still on the fence. Just do it.
Post by greatcoastal on Apr 7, 2019 18:44:34 GMT -5
I don't want to steal anyone's thunder, so... I hope my little experience helps add to this fine story.
Today I was helping a friend build a fence, and pour some concrete, no big deal. However, my girlfriend came with me, and stayed inside talking with my friends wife. The two ladies came outside to check on us. My girlfriend immediately crouches down, puts her arms around my neck, and says" how are you doing honey?"
I look over at my friend, and he's all aglow with smiles! People seem to be much more happy for me, happy to be around me/ us, and, if anything, are envious! Soon comes the kisses, she looks at my friend and says, " I love doing that, he's so good to me!"
It's like drinking from the fountain of youth! I am also doing much better at accepting it, as normal and okay, and giving it back in return! That takes a while.
worksforme2: Real Mustang Guy....To see the latest posts, stories, replies, move your scroll arrow left to ILIASM Forum and wait. The General Category will appear. Move your arrow downto the word General and left click. All the categories will appear.
Oct 22, 2019 17:19:53 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: Thank you worksforme2. That helps but this site is really confusing for me for some reason. I'll keep trying to figure it out though. Thank you again for your explanation.
Oct 23, 2019 8:15:40 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: misssunnybunny, thank you as well for your link. I'll study that and hopefully it will help me figure this site out.
Oct 23, 2019 8:16:35 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! I do hope it helps.
Oct 23, 2019 20:44:53 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Oct 26, 2019 9:02:26 GMT -5
warmways: Happy birthday solodriver!
Oct 30, 2019 9:17:55 GMT -5
solodriver: Thanks warmways
Oct 30, 2019 23:36:15 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: When using a member's username in a post, how does one get it to be in different color and work as a link? I can type in the name but after posting it doesn't look the same as when others use member's usernames in their posts.
Nov 2, 2019 11:37:25 GMT -5
bfar: Just stumbled on this article:https://masculinebydesign.com/sexless-marriage-is-symptomatic-of-emasculated-husbands/ was more than a little disconcerting. Are we digging ourselves further in the hole by trying to be all enlightened and sensitive?
Nov 3, 2019 13:46:42 GMT -5
petrushka: Mate, what's the alternative to all enlightened and sensitive here? Rape? Coercion? Sexual assault? Thanks, but I can do better than being a complete arsehole (or psychopath for that matter).
Nov 3, 2019 21:11:53 GMT -5
bfar: Petrushka... I'm just wondering if we shot ourselves in the foot, as it were, by giving giving up on our strength, and giving in to the feminist agenda of making men irrelevant.
Nov 5, 2019 11:30:21 GMT -5
petrushka: Sorry, I don't buy into that at all. I'm not giving up anything. I've been into the "feminist agenda" for nearly 60 years. Having an empowered partner empowers me. I want strong women around me who take responsibility for themselves and who can face me
Nov 5, 2019 17:20:16 GMT -5
petrushka: I see 'strong men', and controlling bullies, as basically weak, lacking confidence and self esteem -- hence they think they need to assert themselves that way. I loathe patriarchy as much as matriarchy. Partners should be equals.
Nov 5, 2019 17:24:43 GMT -5
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5