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Post by smith227 on Mar 29, 2019 16:35:49 GMT -5
My husband actually asked me for a divorce today. As soon as possible. Told me that I’m just not nice to be around anymore and he’s always uncomfortable these days. I have to scramble a bit now, but I’m going to look at an apartment tomorrow. Any prayers or good vibes, whatever you got that you could send my way to get a place as quickly as possible would be awesome. I gotta say, my ego is a bit bruised right now, but it’s for the best in the long run.
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Post by sadkat on Mar 29, 2019 16:56:12 GMT -5
smith227- yikes! What a way to spring it on you! I’m sending good thoughts and prayers your way. You’ve got this! It will be for the best in the long run!
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Post by northstarmom on Mar 29, 2019 17:47:17 GMT -5
Smith, before looking for an apartment talk to s lawyer. ASAP. Moving out in some jurisdictions is considered abandonment and would hurt you in the settlement.
And make copies of all of your financial assets and look for unusual financial drains. Your h probably has been planning this a long time and may have been hiding assets and figuring out ways to get more than his fair share.
make sure you have enough cash in hand. Some stbxes cancel credit cards and close accounts.
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Post by smith227 on Mar 29, 2019 19:26:05 GMT -5
Smith, before looking for an apartment talk to s lawyer. ASAP. Moving out in some jurisdictions is considered abandonment and would hurt you in the settlement. And make copies of all of your financial assets and look for unusual financial drains. Your h probably has been planning this a long time and may have been hiding assets and figuring out ways to get more than his fair share. make sure you have enough cash in hand. Some stbxes cancel credit cards and close accounts. Thanks for the advice. We haven’t even been married a full year, though and all our finances are separate. We have no joint accounts or credit cards. The house is in his name and he’s owned if for the last 15 years. Honestly, I want nothing at this point except an end. I would have liked it to be in my terms and to have already had a place, but this is fine. We live in a state where we can just dissolve the marriage. It’s cheap and easy and doesn’t require any attorneys. It’s the “meantime” that’s going to suck bc he’s all about “moving on with his life”. So this next month will be fun bc I don’t have any family or friends where I live to stay with, and I’m not about to leave and lose the best job I’ve ever had, that I just got two months ago. I’m all about him moving on with his life. I truly feel sorry for the next woman. And I know and am fully aware that I’m the one that’s winning in this situation. Whether I end up alone or happily matched with someone else in the future. The future is bright bc it doesn’t include him. Oh, and I’ve decided that I’m officially single as of today, so there’s that silver lining.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2019 20:25:14 GMT -5
Wow, blessings certainly can come in unexpected ways. I guess after your head stops spinning from the shock, say a silent thank you, gather yourself and take care of business and the next task at hand. Looks like he just saved you and I'd imagine your temporarily bruised ego will bounce back in no time. Good luck!!!
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Post by choosinghappy on Mar 29, 2019 20:39:02 GMT -5
GOOD. He is toxic and majorly fucked up by the sounds of it. You will find something and in the end you will be so much happier.
Are you on Facebook? If so you can go to the surrounding communities’ pages and post asking if anyone has an available room or apartment. Also don’t be shy about asking around at work!
Good luck!! Truly, I am glad for you. You will land on your feet, even stronger than before.
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Post by baza on Mar 29, 2019 20:48:04 GMT -5
These problems of where you'll live singly etc are quite serious and difficult obstacles to deal with Sister smith227 . But they are waaaay better problems to have than being in a shithole relationship. You've traded up from a set of insoluble problems to a set of solvable problems. You've done well.
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jessie83
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Post by jessie83 on Mar 29, 2019 20:48:55 GMT -5
Sending good vibes and prayers your way 🙏
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firefollower
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Post by firefollower on Mar 29, 2019 20:51:54 GMT -5
hoping the best for you...deep breath, focus...you got this.
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Post by greatcoastal on Mar 29, 2019 21:25:12 GMT -5
Congratulations! Good for you, that you have your new job, even if it is a new place, you have been given a wealth of new opportunity. ( to the bold go the prizes) Fortunately this sounds like a time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and say" I won't do that again"!
Here's to new beginnings ( his loss, your gain!)
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Post by tirefire on Mar 30, 2019 10:26:02 GMT -5
Good luck. I'm sure it seems daunting in the short term but this will be good in the long term. Fingers crossed.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Mar 30, 2019 11:42:05 GMT -5
smith227 while it may have up ended your exit plan at least you are getting out. You've got this. That being said new job no friends or family make it even harder and more stressful. Regardless of it being " his house" you're are married don't let him hurry you out. Move into another room don't pay a dime towards anything but food and your personal bills so you can scrape together as much money as possible. He owes you that he is not incurring moving expenses and setting up a new living space. Any furniture that was yours or you bought together take. Any kitchen gadgets that were yours it all adds up. I will say I didn't take a lot from the house but I did take the extra bedroom set. And I got a lot of stuff cheap from amazon and Walmart and weekends only and ikea without breaking the bank. Sending you good thoughts and wishing you the best of luck! Life is so much more peaceful on the other side cling to that knowledge.
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Post by smith227 on Mar 30, 2019 15:32:24 GMT -5
Thanks for all the replies. Went and looked at the apartment a couple hours ago. If I’m being completely honest, my husband even gave me a ride there. It wasn’t the best place, but where I’m at is a lot worse and it’s available and I can afford it. I didn’t quite expect to feel the sadness I feel. It’s weird. I still feel hopeful about new beginnings, but I’m sad. My husband told me that we don’t have to be shitty towards each other while I’m still living here. I responded that the reason he says he hasn’t been able to so much as pat me on the back, let alone give me a hug in months is bc he thinks I’m so, so shitty. So, why would I change now? I really wish he was one that I slept with once and forgot about. Live and learn.
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Post by smith227 on Mar 30, 2019 15:58:40 GMT -5
Quick question to those of you that have gotten out. Even if you knew that you were going to be better off. Even though you had basically started to hate your spouse and indifference had started setting in. Did you still feel even a little sad? I don’t even understand myself why I’m feeling this way and not jumping around with complete joy. When does this bullshit stop messing with your head so, so bad?
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Post by northstarmom on Mar 30, 2019 17:24:47 GMT -5
Occasionally I felt sad because we had been together 36 years and it was the end of a dream. But I had been mentally and emotionally detaching for several years as had he so much of my mourning the end had happened before starting the divorce.
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