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Post by northstarmom on Mar 11, 2019 19:30:42 GMT -5
Research about the impact of touch deprivation on people in solitary confinement also reflects what many in SMs have experienced. "It's possible to be touch hungry and not even know it—or even to mistake your symptoms for poor mental health. "People who are touch hungry usually present as being depressed individuals," Field says. "They're withdrawn; their voice intonation contour is flat." She adds that people suffering from clinical depression may also often suffer from touch hunger—and this can be seen in an area of the brain called the vagus. "When you massage these people, their depression levels go down and their vagal activity goes up.... "Having studied affection for nearly two decades, however, Floyd believes verbal or written communication is no substitute for physical touch. "There's an immediacy to touch that words don't have. And there are certain health benefits that seem to be more pronounced when affection is expressed through tactile ways." broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/d3gzba/the-life-of-the-skin-hungry-can-you-go-crazy-from-a-lack-of-touch?utm_campaign=sharebutton&fbclid=IwAR2sj9o9qYeBU-eN62FkJ_q_owmWjKf7tlCDJeIwSkfq_xu00id3VRGkWmA
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Post by jim44444 on Mar 11, 2019 20:38:26 GMT -5
They did not need to do research on touch hunger. They merely needed to ask us.
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Post by Handy on Mar 11, 2019 21:07:58 GMT -5
"Having studied affection for nearly two decades, however, Floyd believes verbal or written communication is no substitute for physical touch.
I am a believer!
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Post by baza on Mar 11, 2019 21:27:08 GMT -5
There appears to be overwhelming evidence (of which the linked article forms a part) of the theraputic effects of touch.
I can't recall ever reading some research that said touch was a bad thing.
On a more personal note - and based on the latter stages of my ILIASM deal - it was weird. We actually adopted a position where we would go out of our way to avoid touch. Actually make an effort to step back out of the way if we were about to go through a door to avoid even accidentally touching.
The weird shit that one did in the pressure cooker environment of an ILIASM deal when I look back on it.
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Post by smith227 on Mar 16, 2019 21:32:27 GMT -5
There appears to be overwhelming evidence (of which the linked article forms a part) of the theraputic effects of touch. I can't recall ever reading some research that said touch was a bad thing. On a more personal note - and based on the latter stages of my ILIASM deal - it was weird. We actually adopted a position where we would go out of our way to avoid touch. Actually make an effort to step back out of the way if we were about to go through a door to avoid even accidentally touching. The weird shit that one did in the pressure cooker environment of an ILIASM deal when I look back on it. My roommate and I go out of our way to avoid touching, too. I agree with you. It’s just incredibly weird. I work in a tight area, and it’s too a point where accidentally brushing against a coworker doesn’t even require an apology, but at home with the man I married? Let’s make an obscene amount of room to avoid our bodies coming into contact. It’s not normal, and I’m really tired of being weird.
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Post by Handy on Mar 16, 2019 21:35:33 GMT -5
I am so touch starved right now. I could go visit one woman that tries to get 25 hugs a day but then that might get me to wanting more.
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Post by tirefire on Mar 16, 2019 22:09:17 GMT -5
This will sound stupid but I used to look forward to getting a haircut for this very reason. Just a few minutes of touch. Any female touch. It feels so sad now looking back.
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Post by Handy on Mar 16, 2019 23:11:06 GMT -5
Tirefire, I go to an older lady for a haircut. The touch AND consideration she gives to me helps make my day. She is also a very good conversationalist. Once in a while I go to a guy. He is OK but is into hunting and outdoor sports, which I have little interest. There isn't much emotional connection, but he certainly is a good person. The lady barber and I both have gardens so we have that in common.
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Post by workingonit on Mar 17, 2019 8:01:16 GMT -5
This will sound stupid but I used to look forward to getting a haircut for this very reason. Just a few minutes of touch. Any female touch. It feels so sad now looking back. Not stupid at all. I go for massages for this reason. I think my intolerance of my sm ratcheted up when my kids stopped being cuddly all the time. My starvation for touch just became extreme.
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Post by greatcoastal on Mar 17, 2019 10:58:21 GMT -5
This will sound stupid but I used to look forward to getting a haircut for this very reason. Just a few minutes of touch. Any female touch. It feels so sad now looking back. No, it's not stupid. And yes, it is sad. Sad that a marriage can be that way. This reminds me of threads in the past about visiting the dentist, and feeling their touch.
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Post by northstarmom on Mar 17, 2019 11:14:07 GMT -5
“said:This will sound stupid but I used to look forward to getting a haircut for this very reason. Just a few minutes of touch. Any female touch. It feels so sad now looking back.”
It doesn’t sound stupid. That’s why i got into the habit of getting regular pedicures, facials and massages.
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Post by choosinghappy on Mar 17, 2019 12:44:40 GMT -5
This will sound stupid but I used to look forward to getting a haircut for this very reason. Just a few minutes of touch. Any female touch. It feels so sad now looking back. I looked forward to it as well. Sometimes I even had to choke back the emotion while she massaged my head during shampooing. It’s not stupid at all. This was part of why I outsourced. If I was so starved for touch that I was almost crying when at the hair salon something obviously had to change.
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Post by elkclan2 on Mar 17, 2019 13:16:42 GMT -5
I know my life changed when I started to play rugby. It's super touchy by nature. I mean it's not all 'good' touch - esp. from the opposition. :-) But because you've had your hands up someone's shorts, or they've had their hands wrapped around your thighs... you can basically hug them pretty easily, too.
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Post by solodriver on Mar 17, 2019 16:04:21 GMT -5
This will sound stupid but I used to look forward to getting a haircut for this very reason. Just a few minutes of touch. Any female touch. It feels so sad now looking back. I have felt the exact same way for awhile. I like getting haircuts and I have a really nice dental hygienist that I love to feel her touch when she is working on me. Even when she causes me pain from the cleaning, it's ok. She recognizes my face when something happens, stops and starts again after a few moments. Then she so gently wipes my face and mouth after she is done. OMG for just those few moments, I'm feel so happy.
I like going and having my blood drawn for lab work every few months. I like her touch on my arm and she is always careful not to hurt too much with the needle.
Same with the haircut. I close my eyes and enjoy the feel of her hands working on my hair. I even have gone so far as to get my hair shampooed prior to the haircut so I can enjoy her hands working in my hair and on my scalp and then gently running her fingers through my hair as she rinses out the shampoo. I wash my hair every day and just pay the money for some individual attention and nice talk for just a few minutes.
It's truly sad that those are the best moments I have to look forward to, at least for now.
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Post by solodriver on Mar 17, 2019 16:10:24 GMT -5
This will sound stupid but I used to look forward to getting a haircut for this very reason. Just a few minutes of touch. Any female touch. It feels so sad now looking back. I looked forward to it as well. Sometimes I even had to choke back the emotion while she massaged my head during shampooing. It’s not stupid at all. This was part of why I outsourced. If I was so starved for touch that I was almost crying when at the hair salon something obviously had to change. oh yes, I've also tried to not be emotional, didn't want to seem like a sissy man, lol. But the pain from non-touch is very real.
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