Post by RumRunner on Feb 15, 2019 20:47:11 GMT -5
A few years ago, I came to ILIASM and read all the great posts that people were writing when it was on EP. Since then, I have come and gone but always come back to here.
My mood tonight is pretty low, it happens sometimes when you realize your life is s**t. That's not saying my wife is bad by no means, she just has absolutely no romantic desire at all. We don't celebrate Valentines Day, and haven't for many many years! Our marriage has now been sexless for 18 years as of yesterday! There is no changing it, that part of our marriage is dead and decomposed to dust years ago. I did meet a lady from here, but after a period of time and having met her twice; we decided it would be better if we were only friends, and truthfully I was okay with that. I had discovered that affairs are not for me, and I realize that I would never be able to make a woman happy after all this time. It is great when you can think you can do all these sexy things that you really would love to do, but when it comes to practice; fail miserably. So.... that leads me to acceptance of my current situation.
Acceptance is probably one of the hardest things to do. But the realization of knowing that starting over would be too daunting of a challenge. Starting over would be financially catastrophic for both the spouse and I, and I wouldn't want my spouse to struggle anyway. Also, starting over would mean when you do get with someone else, you have to learn all the habits they have, good and bad and vice versa (I have plenty of bad habits of my own!) . You will find things won't be perfect there either. Truth is, no relationship is perfect! Ever! I think the key to any successful relationship though is compromise and the willingness to make it work; even if it is a sexless relationship. (These are just my thoughts)
I have chosen to keep myself busy with hobbies in order to stay sane. Sometimes that approach works really well! Having the ability to be alone with nature while on an adventure somewhere is probably one of the best coping tools I have. I am glad I have such time to be able to do just that!
Best wishes to everyone here.....