pointbreakgirl, it sounds like you should tell your kids to not tell you anything he tells them. That might be one way to be invisible or immune to your XH's comments.
I have no comment about what a new man or any friend should do or how he should act.
You banging the fire department. Well that is typical of controlling types. The want to control others but can't control them-self. Also smells like he is accusing you of what he might be doing. Well, not the fire department but someone else.
Some women in a similar position reply to their XH with "OH really?" 100% of the time. If you react to him he will keep trying to trigger you. "OH Really? might get old to him and he might just back off. Kids in elementary or junior high school used to come back with "takes one to know one," that got old for the accuser most of the time. At first it will piss him off and when he is tired of being pissed off he will most likely back off.
pointbreakgirl, this sounds a lot more persistent and damaging than badmouthing you. It borders on slander, which your lawyer might be able to do something about. (Normal recourse is a civil lawsuit, usually requiring a credible first-hand witness, but maybe the family court has an easier option.)
As for his failed custody times, this is another great topic to discuss with your lawyer, specific to your jurisdiction. Hopefully, you’ve been documenting every instance. I can’t imagine the court will continue to allow him reduced child support if he’s not actually taking custody, and his lack of interest would surely influence your argument for sole custody.
Last Edit: Feb 11, 2019 9:11:27 GMT -5 by DryCreek
Today he told my kids that my boobs are saggy and his are firmer and he is sexier.
What kind of sick asshole would make that kind of comment to his own kids about their mother? And why would he think they want to hear about how he thinks he is sexier? I doubt you know the answer to this one but how the hell did this come up? I have no idea what you should do about this but in my opinion a guy that would say those kinds of things to kids does not deserve the PRIVILEGE of seeing your kids. I hope you will be able to get him to keep his word hole shut in the future but something tells me the only way this guy will learn a lesson is if someone visits him with a pillowcase full of door knobs.
It's possible to win every battle but still lose the war.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: I was gobsmacked when I heard. This is just not us. In all of 2017 we had 37 murders in the country ..... I think the echo chambers of "social media" have a lot to answer for.
Mar 15, 2019 18:45:45 GMT -5
baza: Feeling for our Brothers and Sisters across the ditch Brother petrushka .
Mar 15, 2019 19:27:50 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: petrushka, I thought I read the headline wrong (this stuff happens here, not in NZ). It is frightening the hate that is being spread; it makes my heart hurt.
Mar 15, 2019 20:46:54 GMT -5
saarinista: All of us, IMHO, should try to be civil and kind as much as possible in person and online. I actively Tweet (civilly) on political matters and am horrified by the rancor & trolling on both sides of the spectrum, which only inflames unstable people.
Mar 19, 2019 23:21:20 GMT -5
saarinista: is anyone else watching March Madness?
Mar 24, 2019 11:44:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: doesn't much look like it...
Mar 27, 2019 12:20:10 GMT -5
saarinista: Well, my team is going to the Final Four! I am beyond thrilled. Basketball is life.
Apr 1, 2019 0:47:14 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Congrats! Yay! I don't know how many people see the shout box, I don't think it shows up not he mobile version of the site. Maybe post something in the Off Topic section and more folks may see it?
Apr 1, 2019 15:38:34 GMT -5
wewbwb: Or, maybe baseball season started . . .
Apr 2, 2019 5:27:34 GMT -5
flashjohn: saarinista, my alma mater, Texas Tech, is also in the final four.
Apr 3, 2019 14:59:01 GMT -5
saarinista: : flashjohn Ruh, roh. Then we have to be mortal enemies for the weekend because I went to MSU!
Apr 4, 2019 16:09:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: The add attachment says a max of 1mb...I see plenty of videos that are way longer than that...how do I do that? My video is 4.97 mbs
Apr 25, 2019 20:10:25 GMT -5
h: The videos posted aren't attached. They are links to videos outside the site.
Apr 26, 2019 14:09:04 GMT -5
sexlessinga: Hi guys just joined
May 10, 2019 20:49:28 GMT -5
worksforme2: @mslowmaintenance….long time no see, welcome back...
May 29, 2019 9:30:25 GMT -5
noregretz: You can never outrun a Grizzly bear, but that's ok. You only have to outrun the person you're with....
Jun 15, 2019 12:28:09 GMT -5
solodriver: or in this case your refuser.
Jun 16, 2019 19:21:47 GMT -5