Today the girls (9 and 11) left at 6am with the stbx to go skiing in Switzerland. The first of many vacations apart. It was a tough day. I was pretty weepy. Little things would set me off and I’d have a little cry.
But I’m feeling steady now. Calm. And still absolutely convinced that divorce is the right move.
I think this past week was the deep point. There will be ups and downs over the coming months, but I’m already looking forward to rebuilding my life. It feels like a fresh start.
Good for you friend!
There will also be plenty of trips for just you and your daughters in the future! ( a fresh start)
Trips that will not include their dad. Trips where they can see the stark difference in how both parents treat them, respect them, love them ,and the example you give them . An example that will show them what a healthy relationship ought to be!
Then there will be some of the simplest moments together at home with your daughters, how you react to their requests for friends, clothes, money, food, keeping their room clean etc...
Lot's of rebuilding... for all of you!
Your STBX? No longer your problem, no longer your concern. Parallel parenting ,and as much detachment ,and distance as possible!
You will be a light in a dark place. ( you always where, only now you get to shine! much brighter than before!)
Thank you. I’m not going to type more right now. I don’t want to start crying again! But thank you for your kind words and encouragement.
Just a little request. I’m headed into our 3rd mediation meeting. I’m a little nervous, but not as bad as last time. Send me good vibes! Positive thoughts! Strength! Wisdom! I’d like to wrap this pain pit of a marriage up and move the fuck on!
I have a few important points to make. 1. Stbx isn’t freely sharing financial info. I have a copy of a report he says doesn’t exist. I wonder how that will go over. 2. I want a temporary alimony agreement- giving me the ability to start looking for a place to live. 3. We divide the joint property equitably. Everything we own is joint property. 4. When does our parenting contract go into effect?
elynne, you’re making good progress. Keep standing your ground and don’t let him wear you down emotionally.
The person who has the most emotional investment in the outcome (“I *must* have the children every Christmas”) always gets the worse deal because they’ll compromise to get there. When you feel the urge to compromise, step back and let your lawyer carry on.
Be bold in your attitude. Make statements, not requests. Assume as fact, and make him prove it’s not. “This is the parenting schedule we discussed; there’s no reason it can’t be effected immediately.”
Your lawyer would be the one to advise on negotiations, but think about how you can paint a picture that he’s avoiding a worse outcome. Like “If you agree to alimony terms effective immediately, I won’t press for the maximum entitlement in court.”
Mediation again today. I’m ready to put this to bed and move on!
Well prepared. I’ve got my strategy in place. I know what I want - my starting position. I know what my bottom limit is. If the STBX is unreasonable and unwilling to come to a mutually acceptable agreement I’m ready to simply end mediation and let a judge decide. He’ll soon find that I’m more generous than a judge will be.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: Just saw the forecast for Mildura at 47C -- I hope you and Ms. Enna are going to be ok Baz. That's getting dangerous.
Jan 24, 2019 20:10:00 GMT -5
lifeinwoodinville: I last heard from mrslowmaintenance about a month ago. I have been in regular contact with her for the last year and a half. I feel comfortable in saying that her situation remains unchanged. If you want to know more PM me.
Jan 25, 2019 22:36:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey baza,...I know it's hot and dry down under. N.C. is having record rainfall. I would gladly trade some rain for some sunshine....
Feb 22, 2019 20:28:35 GMT -5
tamara68: Today it's steak and blowjob day! I suppose the steak is for those who don't get a blowjob.
Mar 14, 2019 16:49:49 GMT -5
petrushka: tamara68 Laughing with tears in my eyes. And my steak is going to be semolina gruel, due to some tummy upset :-\
Mar 15, 2019 1:11:10 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: So sad to hear the news from New Zealand. Boston Strong supports Kiwi Strong!!
Mar 15, 2019 7:46:22 GMT -5
petrushka: I was gobsmacked when I heard. This is just not us. In all of 2017 we had 37 murders in the country ..... I think the echo chambers of "social media" have a lot to answer for.
Mar 15, 2019 18:45:45 GMT -5
baza: Feeling for our Brothers and Sisters across the ditch Brother petrushka .
Mar 15, 2019 19:27:50 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: petrushka, I thought I read the headline wrong (this stuff happens here, not in NZ). It is frightening the hate that is being spread; it makes my heart hurt.
Mar 15, 2019 20:46:54 GMT -5
saarinista: All of us, IMHO, should try to be civil and kind as much as possible in person and online. I actively Tweet (civilly) on political matters and am horrified by the rancor & trolling on both sides of the spectrum, which only inflames unstable people.
Mar 19, 2019 23:21:20 GMT -5
saarinista: is anyone else watching March Madness?
Mar 24, 2019 11:44:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: doesn't much look like it...
Mar 27, 2019 12:20:10 GMT -5
saarinista: Well, my team is going to the Final Four! I am beyond thrilled. Basketball is life.
Apr 1, 2019 0:47:14 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Congrats! Yay! I don't know how many people see the shout box, I don't think it shows up not he mobile version of the site. Maybe post something in the Off Topic section and more folks may see it?
Apr 1, 2019 15:38:34 GMT -5
wewbwb: Or, maybe baseball season started . . .
Apr 2, 2019 5:27:34 GMT -5
flashjohn: saarinista, my alma mater, Texas Tech, is also in the final four.
Apr 3, 2019 14:59:01 GMT -5
saarinista: : flashjohn Ruh, roh. Then we have to be mortal enemies for the weekend because I went to MSU!
Apr 4, 2019 16:09:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: The add attachment says a max of 1mb...I see plenty of videos that are way longer than that...how do I do that? My video is 4.97 mbs
Apr 25, 2019 20:10:25 GMT -5
h: The videos posted aren't attached. They are links to videos outside the site.
Apr 26, 2019 14:09:04 GMT -5
sexlessinga: Hi guys just joined
May 10, 2019 20:49:28 GMT -5