Post by solodriver on Jan 21, 2019 20:42:53 GMT -5
I actually got more out of seeing the entire TED talk. Thanks again choosinghappy. I think I can see how you applied this to your SM. Maybe you could share how you applied the "What If...?" to your SM when you have some time so others can figure out how to apply it specifically to their SMs and the changes they will fear to make that they need to make in order to be happier.
Like he said and others have said, it won't be necessarily be easy to go through, but looking at yourself and others, that walk will be well worth it in order to have a better, healthier, happier life than the one we are currently experiencing in our SMs.
I didn't realize I was doing a form of this exercise as I am using my "T-Minus" (My Status) thread. That's exactly how NASA prepared for each manned space flight. They created every possible "What If" scenario that could happen and then the astronauts trained on those scenarios and created possible solutions that could be used in case it happened. Then when things did go wrong they were ready to deal with them.
And sometimes, things can happen that we are totally unprepared for.
And there is the value of this group. People sharing ideas that people in those situations can try until they find success and not just throw their hands up and say "I can't do this." If you look at the members of this board as a "Mission Control Team" who can support each of us as we go through this SM experience. But, ultimately, it is up to us to make the decisions we need to make to make our lives better or continue to live in SMs that will continue to damage us in so many ways and never feel the happiness we so desperately seek.
I think a good movie to watch to understand what I'm saying is "Apollo 13", or more recently the movie about Apollo 11.
It’s hard to continue to love someone romantically who doesn’t love you back in the way you need to feel like a whole person.
Post by choosinghappy on Jan 21, 2019 21:22:30 GMT -5
solodriver Oh no, I didn’t actually apply it to my SM as I just came across it today (and haven’t had a chance to actually watch the whole talk yet), I just thought it could be helpful for someone.
I know for me, in the past if I have had certain fears about things I will sometimes sit down and list out every potential thing I can think of that could be an issue if I do x/y/z. I write down every fear associated with taking that action/making that change, no matter how small or stupid they may seem, and then I read my list and think about how I would handle each of those things. It breaks the overarching fear down into what ends up often being very manageable steps combined with mostly unfounded fears. Scary as a whole but when I examine closer, not so scary or impossible. (Sort of like leaving a marriage...)
frednsa: i saw something on the wedding night (in the 60's) should have ended it during the honeymoon. i was played so perfectly. she is so wonderful in almost every other way, so...still wondering...thinking frigidity is a real thing and untreatable
Aug 29, 2019 12:07:04 GMT -5
worksforme2: Tomorrow is Labor Day 2019, no big plans for the day....thinking seriously of going commando
Sept 1, 2019 11:37:07 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey ironhamster...I just saw your picture on another site and your head wasn't covered. You actually look better without the bandana....
Sept 2, 2019 11:54:55 GMT -5
javba: Dunno Iron Hamster - I have not seen your other photo - I think you ROCK anyways.
Sept 4, 2019 10:11:42 GMT -5