Post by solodriver on Jan 21, 2019 20:42:53 GMT -5
I actually got more out of seeing the entire TED talk. Thanks again choosinghappy. I think I can see how you applied this to your SM. Maybe you could share how you applied the "What If...?" to your SM when you have some time so others can figure out how to apply it specifically to their SMs and the changes they will fear to make that they need to make in order to be happier.
Like he said and others have said, it won't be necessarily be easy to go through, but looking at yourself and others, that walk will be well worth it in order to have a better, healthier, happier life than the one we are currently experiencing in our SMs.
I didn't realize I was doing a form of this exercise as I am using my "T-Minus" (My Status) thread. That's exactly how NASA prepared for each manned space flight. They created every possible "What If" scenario that could happen and then the astronauts trained on those scenarios and created possible solutions that could be used in case it happened. Then when things did go wrong they were ready to deal with them.
And sometimes, things can happen that we are totally unprepared for.
And there is the value of this group. People sharing ideas that people in those situations can try until they find success and not just throw their hands up and say "I can't do this." If you look at the members of this board as a "Mission Control Team" who can support each of us as we go through this SM experience. But, ultimately, it is up to us to make the decisions we need to make to make our lives better or continue to live in SMs that will continue to damage us in so many ways and never feel the happiness we so desperately seek.
I think a good movie to watch to understand what I'm saying is "Apollo 13", or more recently the movie about Apollo 11.
It’s hard to continue to love someone romantically who doesn’t love you back in the way you need to feel like a whole person.
Post by choosinghappy on Jan 21, 2019 21:22:30 GMT -5
solodriver Oh no, I didn’t actually apply it to my SM as I just came across it today (and haven’t had a chance to actually watch the whole talk yet), I just thought it could be helpful for someone.
I know for me, in the past if I have had certain fears about things I will sometimes sit down and list out every potential thing I can think of that could be an issue if I do x/y/z. I write down every fear associated with taking that action/making that change, no matter how small or stupid they may seem, and then I read my list and think about how I would handle each of those things. It breaks the overarching fear down into what ends up often being very manageable steps combined with mostly unfounded fears. Scary as a whole but when I examine closer, not so scary or impossible. (Sort of like leaving a marriage...)
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: I was gobsmacked when I heard. This is just not us. In all of 2017 we had 37 murders in the country ..... I think the echo chambers of "social media" have a lot to answer for.
Mar 15, 2019 18:45:45 GMT -5
baza: Feeling for our Brothers and Sisters across the ditch Brother petrushka .
Mar 15, 2019 19:27:50 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: petrushka, I thought I read the headline wrong (this stuff happens here, not in NZ). It is frightening the hate that is being spread; it makes my heart hurt.
Mar 15, 2019 20:46:54 GMT -5
saarinista: All of us, IMHO, should try to be civil and kind as much as possible in person and online. I actively Tweet (civilly) on political matters and am horrified by the rancor & trolling on both sides of the spectrum, which only inflames unstable people.
Mar 19, 2019 23:21:20 GMT -5
saarinista: is anyone else watching March Madness?
Mar 24, 2019 11:44:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: doesn't much look like it...
Mar 27, 2019 12:20:10 GMT -5
saarinista: Well, my team is going to the Final Four! I am beyond thrilled. Basketball is life.
Apr 1, 2019 0:47:14 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Congrats! Yay! I don't know how many people see the shout box, I don't think it shows up not he mobile version of the site. Maybe post something in the Off Topic section and more folks may see it?
Apr 1, 2019 15:38:34 GMT -5
wewbwb: Or, maybe baseball season started . . .
Apr 2, 2019 5:27:34 GMT -5
flashjohn: saarinista, my alma mater, Texas Tech, is also in the final four.
Apr 3, 2019 14:59:01 GMT -5
saarinista: : flashjohn Ruh, roh. Then we have to be mortal enemies for the weekend because I went to MSU!
Apr 4, 2019 16:09:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: The add attachment says a max of 1mb...I see plenty of videos that are way longer than that...how do I do that? My video is 4.97 mbs
Apr 25, 2019 20:10:25 GMT -5
h: The videos posted aren't attached. They are links to videos outside the site.
Apr 26, 2019 14:09:04 GMT -5
sexlessinga: Hi guys just joined
May 10, 2019 20:49:28 GMT -5
worksforme2: @mslowmaintenance….long time no see, welcome back...
May 29, 2019 9:30:25 GMT -5
noregretz: You can never outrun a Grizzly bear, but that's ok. You only have to outrun the person you're with....
Jun 15, 2019 12:28:09 GMT -5
solodriver: or in this case your refuser.
Jun 16, 2019 19:21:47 GMT -5