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Post by lessingham on Feb 14, 2019 18:03:20 GMT -5
My wife said Valentine's Day is about romance, not sex. Maybe she is uncoupling the two or maybe she has a point. If we concentrated more on the romantic side, we would be less disappointed over the lack of sex. I know most here would argue romance should lead to sex and stuff my wife's arguement.
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Post by shamwow on Feb 14, 2019 18:31:53 GMT -5
My wife said Valentine's Day is about romance, not sex. Maybe she is uncoupling the two or maybe she has a point. If we concentrated more on the romantic side, we would be less disappointed over the lack of sex. I know most here would argue romance should lead to sex and stuff my wife's arguement. Lots of WE there on her telling you what SHE thinks. What do YOU think? Personally it sounds like her idea of "romance" is you kissing her ass while your ass dangles in the wind. Perhaps I'm wrong.
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Post by shamwow on Feb 14, 2019 18:40:01 GMT -5
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Post by baza on Feb 14, 2019 19:06:58 GMT -5
In a functional relationship, the spouses will have pretty similar views on stuff like Valentines Day (and/or birthdays, or other landmark events) and what is an appropriate way of marking them.
In a dysfunctional deal, you won't.
Doesn't mean that *your* view is "right". Doesn't mean that your spouses view is "wrong".
Does mean that the two views are incompatible with each other.
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Post by jim44444 on Feb 14, 2019 19:07:21 GMT -5
For all of us that are disparging Valentine's Day I suggest that we remember that because of this 'holiday' tomorrow will be half-price chocolate day.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2019 20:15:11 GMT -5
My wife said Valentine's Day is about romance, not sex. Maybe she is uncoupling the two or maybe she has a point. If we concentrated more on the romantic side, we would be less disappointed over the lack of sex. I know most here would argue romance should lead to sex and stuff my wife's arguement. Interesting idea ... I've often wondered if my husband had even an ounce of romance in him, if it would offset (even if only a little) the 5-10 minutes every 2-4 months of routine sex. I haven't come up with an answer to that one yet and doubt I ever will since I've given up on him ever exhibiting anything remotely close to what I would call "romance".
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 14, 2019 20:59:52 GMT -5
For all of us that are disparging Valentine's Day I suggest that we remember that because of this 'holiday' tomorrow will be half-price chocolate day. Reminds me of a joke: What's the best part about Valentines day? All the candy that's 70% the day after!!
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Post by flounder on Feb 14, 2019 21:26:50 GMT -5
I gave my wife nothing today. She seems a little put off by it,but hasn’t said anything. Just waiting to see what she has to say....
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Post by h on Feb 14, 2019 21:53:59 GMT -5
Surprisingly, we celebrated a day early. We had a nice dinner out during which she hinted several times about activities occuring when we got home. Even more surprising, she actually followed through with great enthusiasm. She apparently planned for it too, taking the time to shave thoroughly. She even let me give her oral which almost never happens. A very satisfying event for both of us.
Tonight, we're busy packing for vacation. Tomorrow night after work, we hope in the car and hit the road for a week in a warmer climate.
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onlyhuman
Junior Member
Learning to be all right with what I want.
Posts: 30
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Post by onlyhuman on Feb 14, 2019 22:46:08 GMT -5
When my wife left for work today, she put out her arms to indicate she wanted a hug (never walks to where I am to give me said hug) and said, "Happy Valentine's Day. I'm sorry." Not sure what she is sorry for. Or maybe she meant "I'm pathetic." instead? 😈 Or maybe she is sorry that her refusal had lead to me sleeping in the spare bedroom the last four nights?
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Post by lessingham on Feb 15, 2019 3:32:27 GMT -5
My view of Valentines Day is simple, it is a liad of bollocks. It was a sweet system for young unmarried people to express feelinds and get away with it witbout social disaporoval. How the hell it morphed into ehst it is is beyond me. I think wives decided they wanted the same, but more. I tried to romance it because there was no chance of sex, excuse no. 20345 is my wife does not put out when the world expects it. Ie no valentines sex, no honeymoon sex, no anniversary sex and no birthday sex. I just bought a card and a cook at home dinner. I bought tulips not roses as they were for me, not her in reality.
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 15, 2019 7:39:56 GMT -5
I'll take "dildo vibrators" for five hundred, Alex. It’s a Rabbit. I purchased a Rabbit, and gave it to my girlfriend yesterday ( valentine's day is now Vibrator day ) It was an upgrade from the " Calextics First Time Flexi-Rocker" I purchased and used as a first ever. It actually came apart! Broke in the middle, a good problem to have! I suppose? I ask her " do you want to take it home with you?" She says " no. I don't want to use it alone, by myself, I've never owned one, I like it when you do it for me, it's the best" Having sex on V-day seemed like , what has become any other day. Another ' good problem' to have in opposite land. I agree with everyone about not being able to find an 'appropriate' card for a SM. However, now that I am in opposite land ( also the dating world) the adult store had a great selection! We decided early on that dinner at a restaurant would be too crowded. I ordered Chinese and had dinner with my teen daughters and my girlfriend. I light the candles often at dinner time. V-day was no exception. I remember lighting the candles during the divorce when all of us where at the table ( 8 of us- minus my now ex wife). My older son asked me, " why do you do that? Even when mom's not here?" I told him " I like it. I always have. it's for me". I gave my daughters their traditional Valentines day box of chocolates. My girlfriend and I took a walk down the beach last night. ( something we do often) When we arrived home, skinny me was a lot colder than I had realized. All it takes is to feel her warm hands, face, arms, etc... on me, to realize I could be warmer. Another cherishable moment! She says, " let me warm you up". So different from my ex who would say, " your cold, don't make me cold too" and do nothing. PS: I proposed to my now ex on V-day 27 yrs ago. A bittersweet memory. Now I am giving Vibrators for V gifts! ( Here's to new beginnings!)
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 15, 2019 9:45:58 GMT -5
My wife said Valentine's Day is about romance, not sex. Maybe she is uncoupling the two or maybe she has a point. If we concentrated more on the romantic side, we would be less disappointed over the lack of sex. I know most here would argue romance should lead to sex and stuff my wife's arguement. Interesting idea ... I've often wondered if my husband had even an ounce of romance in him, if it would offset (even if only a little) the 5-10 minutes every 2-4 months of routine sex. I haven't come up with an answer to that one yet and doubt I ever will since I've given up on him ever exhibiting anything remotely close to what I would call "romance". More breakdown in communication. When one 'settles' it's really another way of avoiding the truth. Most likely 'romance' no longer exists on his radar!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2019 13:29:18 GMT -5
Interesting idea ... I've often wondered if my husband had even an ounce of romance in him, if it would offset (even if only a little) the 5-10 minutes every 2-4 months of routine sex. I haven't come up with an answer to that one yet and doubt I ever will since I've given up on him ever exhibiting anything remotely close to what I would call "romance". More breakdown in communication. When one 'settles' it's really another way of avoiding the truth. Most likely 'romance' no longer exists on his radar! Quite possibly. Will let you know tomorrow. He is planning a nice dinner out for me this evening. Sort of a post Valentine's Day date night. I've no idea where we are going. He is making all the arrangements and I didn't ask for this either. I am able to give props where props are due. Still gauging whether an acceptable middle ground can be found. How the evening goes, and whether it ever happens again, are all up in the air. As always, time will tell.
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Post by flounder on Feb 15, 2019 16:03:47 GMT -5
More breakdown in communication. When one 'settles' it's really another way of avoiding the truth. Most likely 'romance' no longer exists on his radar! Quite possibly. Will let you know tomorrow. He is planning a nice dinner out for me this evening. Sort of a post Valentine's Day date night. I've no idea where we are going. He is making all the arrangements and I didn't ask for this either. I am able to give props where props are due. Still gauging whether an acceptable middle ground can be found. How the evening goes, and whether it ever happens again, are all up in the air. As always, time will tell. Good luck.
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