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Post by sadkat on Nov 23, 2019 23:52:34 GMT -5
Tough to say. Financial security I guess. You’d be willing to compromise financial security for an intimate relationship?
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Post by isthisit on Nov 24, 2019 3:09:36 GMT -5
What would you be willing to compromise in life for an intimate relationship? For the love of my life, pretty much anything with the exception of my children. Finances, career, geography matter less than that wonderful sensation of being the centre of someone’s world and they yours. For getting some ‘booty’ as my children call it- I would compromise little to nothing.
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sunnysean
Junior Member
Posts: 59
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by sunnysean on Nov 24, 2019 12:54:36 GMT -5
I would give up dark chocolate.
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Post by worksforme2 on Nov 24, 2019 13:24:16 GMT -5
My 1994 Mazda truck with only 148,000 miles on it.
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Post by worksforme2 on Nov 24, 2019 13:33:44 GMT -5
I always put my H’s single position and general predictability in the bedroom as an overwhelming lack of interest expressed as repetition. After all imagination in anything requires enthusiasm, effort and engagement. I really agree with this. I was the innovator and proponent of most anything new or different in the bedroom. Different positions, changing around the sequence of types of sex, introducing toys, attempts at introducing roleplay or other venues. To her credit my X did go along with a few things, but the definition of what would fly between the sheets was somewhat limited. Nothing too risqué.
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Post by sadkat on Nov 24, 2019 14:02:40 GMT -5
sunnysean and worksforme2- you are tough customers with this question! So, you mean to tell me that all you will give up is dark chocolate/ a favored car for true intimacy? I’m perplexed. Can you explain?
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Post by worksforme2 on Nov 24, 2019 15:33:23 GMT -5
sunnysean and worksforme2- you are tough customers with this question! So, you mean to tell me that all you will give up is dark chocolate/ a favored car for true intimacy? I’m perplexed. Can you explain? We are probably both looking for a laugh. This question is far too cerebral. I simply can't answer it.
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Post by DryCreek on Nov 24, 2019 16:09:31 GMT -5
sunnysean and worksforme2- you are tough customers with this question! So, you mean to tell me that all you will give up is dark chocolate/ a favored car for true intimacy? I’m perplexed. Can you explain? We are probably both looking for a laugh. This question is far too cerebral. I simply can't answer it. I knew that had to be humor... after all, who would give up dark chocolate?! I think the elephant in the room is financial security. Many people give up financial security just for the *possibility* of finding an intimate relationship. For others, financial security is the thing that makes them stay in a relationship without intimacy. But neither move is a sure bet.
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Post by Handy on Nov 24, 2019 16:51:12 GMT -5
Financial security? It is my belief that there is no or little romance without adequate finance. Not many people are willing to live in poverty or low income situations, just to have sex. Me giving up staying up late was an attempted disguise at saying I stay up late because there is no sex and going to bed early would please a sexual partner, so in effect. Going to bed earlier would probably lead to more sex with the right partner. So in reality I wouldn't be giving up anything. It would be a win-win for both of us.
Would I give up on practical things, such as tolerating reincarnation beliefs some woman might have? My belief is when you die you are dead for ever. Shopping addiction won't fly because I have been through that and once is enough,
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Post by isthisit on Nov 24, 2019 17:24:56 GMT -5
We are probably both looking for a laugh. This question is far too cerebral. I simply can't answer it. I think the elephant in the room is financial security. Many people give up financial security just for the *possibility* of finding an intimate relationship. For others, financial security is the thing that makes them stay in a relationship without intimacy. But neither move is a sure bet. Yup this is exactly what I have done with no guarantee of success. I will likely have to work much longer before retirement compared to if I had stayed in my M and be much worse off financially. But I was miserable and what can money buy to compensate for that? There are many sound reasons to choose to endure a SM. Money in your bank account should not be one of them. I have handled hundreds of shrouds and can confirm that they do not have pockets.
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Post by baza on Nov 24, 2019 17:46:59 GMT -5
I put a poll up on 13 September 2018 raising the question "Is it (or was it) money that is (or was) holding you in your ILIASM deal ?"
Results were 59% saying it is (or was) a factor. And 41% saying it is not (or was not) a factor.
I was quite surprised at the result .... I thought "money" would have been a major issue for the vast majority
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Post by sadkat on Nov 24, 2019 19:49:17 GMT -5
sunnysean and worksforme2- you are tough customers with this question! So, you mean to tell me that all you will give up is dark chocolate/ a favored car for true intimacy? I’m perplexed. Can you explain? We are probably both looking for a laugh. This question is far too cerebral. I simply can't answer it. Humor.... hmm, ok. This seemed like a good question for discussion. But, you’re right- it does require some thought.
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Post by sadkat on Nov 24, 2019 19:56:03 GMT -5
Handy- once again, you’ve left me scratching my head in confusion. I would agree with you that I wouldn’t want to live in poverty for “just sex”. For true intimacy? Absolutely! But perhaps it’s because I would know I could work with my partner to make a better life for “us”.
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Post by saarinista on Nov 24, 2019 20:06:25 GMT -5
My view is that "safety" of any kind-including financial security-is an illusion. Nothing is guaranteed, including the value of your financial portfolio.
Let's say you have a lot of assets. In that case you probably have high expectations, too. So if your portfolio declines in value, you'll probably still be devastated even if you have a relatively large amount of money remaining because you'll have gotten used to living large over the years.
Is it similar with sex? After basically a decade of no sex, would I be thrilled now with a partner who wanted to do it once a month, or every other month?
Hey that would be better than I've had in ages, but would it be enough? Or would I want a rich, varied sex life, despite my sexual poverty of many years?
I don't know.
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Post by carl on Nov 24, 2019 20:17:25 GMT -5
Apart from my children I would compromise anything else in principle. People are more important ultimately than anything else in the world and intimacy for me is an important way of relating and the most amazing experience there is in life. Love is after all not self seeking. Love however is kind and doesn’t take so having to compromise would ring alarm bells for me. So if I was worse off in anyway it wouldn’t bother me as such but I’d be suspicious I was doing the wrong thing. And so compromise itself is not the problem, rather why I would need to compromise when I would not ask another to do so.
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