Thank you. These seem like extreme solutions which may be where I ultimately end up.
Bottom-line, even for serious problems, there are solutions. So don’t dispair, and try not to let yourself feel overwhelmed; it sounds like you’ve got a full plate right now. When it bubbles to the top of your list, there will be options.
It may be too personal, but what is the nature of the medical problem...more info may be helpful. But the request could also be an intrusion. If so, apologies in advance.
Honestly, I don’t know what the underlying medical issue is, and various doctors also haven’t been able to figure it out, but let’s just say the net result is profound impotence. I have a variety of other emergent health issues arising in the past 12 months, but that is the icing on the cake.
I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing such a rough time of it. I also wondered whether you are experiencing some mental health difficulties, and am pleased to hear that you are receiving care in the form of medication and support. I understand that things feel totally rubbish today, but I guess you have to believe that it won't always feel as bad as it does just now. Have faith in yourself and all that you are capable of achieving- and hang in there. I would like to hear more of your journey when you feel ready to share.
I can remember thinking exactly the same way. And still suffering from depression and PTSD even though I thought getting rid of the ex would make my life rainbows and unicorns. It takes a long time to recover from a bad marriage. I was single for almost 3 yrs following my separation. I know that seems like a long time now, but it wasn't looking back.
You DO need companionship. So you need to go out and find it. Even if you don't feel like it.
Post by novembercomingfire on Dec 27, 2018 21:39:10 GMT -5
In my estimation, I am not doing especially well. But here is the thing that I have found. It doesn’t really matter. Every day is an adventure with the promise of something new. I suppose I will see how it goes, and I will try not to get hung up on the low moments.
I am glad to be a part of your community, and I wish all of you the best.
He said you do need help my friend. I whispered: obviously.
I’m sorry you are going through such a rough time. It sounds like your medical problems started around the time you split up with your ex. I’m not saying it’s all in your head, but it sounds like there could be a mind-body connection here between feeling down, lost, depressed etc and your body falling apart. This has happened to me in the past.
Another way to look at it: maybe during your marriage you could focus all your dissatisfaction about life on sexlessness. Now that she’s out of the picture, you are forced to face other things in your life that feel equally hard and unsatisfying. A job you hate, lack of other fulfilling relationships with friends or family, physical ailments.
Maybe you could try to focus on those areas of your life that do make you feel good, and gradually try to expand them to take up more space? For example, if you enjoy going on walks, go on more of them.
Unfortunately, it’s really painful when we realize that the work is not over to build a fulfilling life! It feels endless sometimes and that can be depressing. But maybe you don’t need a revolution, just an adjustment. A different job, some new hobbies, a change of focus from worrying about your health problems. Some positive distractions.
I think you are headed in the right direction, don’t give up now!
novembercomingfire I'm sorry you're feeling so down. You do sound somewhat depressed. Takes one to know one! I'm glad you're getting therapy and medication, though.
One thing I would reiterate is to investigate whether the antidepressant might be adding to your ED. As far as I know, all antidepressants except for Wellbutrin have ED as a POSSIBLE side effect (though not a certain one) so you might research that.
Another question-since you said you haven't gone out with anyone, can you be sure that your ED would manifest if you were actually with a person? I know it's scary to test that theory, but it is a thought. I've never found myself to be as much of a turn-on to myself as a man is! Maybe with someone you're attracted to, the ED won't be a problem?
I think you need to give yourself some time. Though someone mentioned concern because you have been out of your marriage several months and you're still feeling down, from my standpoint, I think you've been out a relatively short time. Everyone moves at their own pace. I think you're right to be concerned about your recovery timeframe because life is short, but on the other hand, after more than 2 decades of marriage, not everyone can bounce back right away. I say, keep up the good work with therapy, try to cut yourself a break, investigate the possibility that antidepressants are impacting your ED, and keep posting here.
And give yourself props that you actually moved on from your marriage. It takes guts to do so. Great job!
Please forgive any typos or poor sentence structure. As I often say, you can have it perfect or you can have it now. Here, I choose now.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: I was gobsmacked when I heard. This is just not us. In all of 2017 we had 37 murders in the country ..... I think the echo chambers of "social media" have a lot to answer for.
Mar 15, 2019 18:45:45 GMT -5
baza: Feeling for our Brothers and Sisters across the ditch Brother petrushka .
Mar 15, 2019 19:27:50 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: petrushka, I thought I read the headline wrong (this stuff happens here, not in NZ). It is frightening the hate that is being spread; it makes my heart hurt.
Mar 15, 2019 20:46:54 GMT -5
saarinista: All of us, IMHO, should try to be civil and kind as much as possible in person and online. I actively Tweet (civilly) on political matters and am horrified by the rancor & trolling on both sides of the spectrum, which only inflames unstable people.
Mar 19, 2019 23:21:20 GMT -5
saarinista: is anyone else watching March Madness?
Mar 24, 2019 11:44:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: doesn't much look like it...
Mar 27, 2019 12:20:10 GMT -5
saarinista: Well, my team is going to the Final Four! I am beyond thrilled. Basketball is life.
Apr 1, 2019 0:47:14 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Congrats! Yay! I don't know how many people see the shout box, I don't think it shows up not he mobile version of the site. Maybe post something in the Off Topic section and more folks may see it?
Apr 1, 2019 15:38:34 GMT -5
wewbwb: Or, maybe baseball season started . . .
Apr 2, 2019 5:27:34 GMT -5
flashjohn: saarinista, my alma mater, Texas Tech, is also in the final four.
Apr 3, 2019 14:59:01 GMT -5
saarinista: : flashjohn Ruh, roh. Then we have to be mortal enemies for the weekend because I went to MSU!
Apr 4, 2019 16:09:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: The add attachment says a max of 1mb...I see plenty of videos that are way longer than that...how do I do that? My video is 4.97 mbs
Apr 25, 2019 20:10:25 GMT -5
h: The videos posted aren't attached. They are links to videos outside the site.
Apr 26, 2019 14:09:04 GMT -5
sexlessinga: Hi guys just joined
May 10, 2019 20:49:28 GMT -5
worksforme2: @mslowmaintenance….long time no see, welcome back...
May 29, 2019 9:30:25 GMT -5
noregretz: You can never outrun a Grizzly bear, but that's ok. You only have to outrun the person you're with....
Jun 15, 2019 12:28:09 GMT -5
solodriver: or in this case your refuser.
Jun 16, 2019 19:21:47 GMT -5