I listened to several of Jordan Peterson's videos and he comes up with several ideas that are worth hearing regarding long term female and male relationships. There is one video that states females assault males more (frequency wise) than males assault females but the females inflict much less physical damage than the males. GC was eluding to this and Jordan said it is true.
If you have time take a look at his other videos.
The BEST relationship advice EVER - Jordan Peterson
Post by northstarmom on Nov 23, 2018 17:38:15 GMT -5
"I am encountering this going back into the dating field at a meetup group.. That person sat next to me, that person put their arms out to say hello to me, that person asked "what's new with you? haven't seen you in a long time?" Now it's up to me to react. Will my reaction be exactly what they want from me? Maybe, maybe not. Will I know if my reaction was correct? Maybe, maybe not? '
What is a "correct" reaction? I think you're overthinking this. There is no one correct answer. It's not the Inquisition. The person made an effort to connect and saying something that tells her something about yourself is doing something correct.
Obviously, insulting her would be incorrect. You know that. Also, saying, "nothing" is incorrect because she's trying to establish a connection, and to do that, you have to say something that tells a little of yourself and gives a "hook" for a conversation. Nothing stalls a conversation more than a person saying they haven't been doing anything.
So, "I have been enjoying doing xxxx'" or "just got over a cold and am glad I feel better" or "am thinking about checking out xxxx" or "am trying to figure out what to get my kids for Xmas," -- virtually anything that shares a bit about yourself is good.
And, unless you're talking to a very good friend, t would not be a good idea to say something like, "I've been having a lot of hassles with my manipulative, narcissitic ex".
shamwow, I was concentrating more on what to do to make the relationship better.
There is a John Gottman principle. that is called the “magic ratio” is 5 to 1. This means that for every negative interaction during conflict, a stable and happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions.
Many people need to learn what NOT to do and the video outlines that idea.
Part of the reason I posted the video is because ILIASM has a fair amount of "stayers" and the video might help the stayers. Stayers get verbal crap thrown at them so I hope the video helps someone.
It won't surprise you that I think Jordan Peterson is generally full of crap, but he's not wrong here. This seems to be from an era before he switched to cultivating a misogynist fan base - so it seems like he was nicer guy before he switched to the all beef diet. This video boils down to be careful how you punish bad behaviour, reward good behaviour, don't escalate arguments prematurely leaving your partner no place to go and spend time with each other in a positive way. Not bad advice.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! So glad to hear you had a great day
Jan 19, 2019 16:34:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: anyone hear anything lately from mrslowmaintenance or smartkat?
Jan 24, 2019 18:06:02 GMT -5
petrushka: Just saw the forecast for Mildura at 47C -- I hope you and Ms. Enna are going to be ok Baz. That's getting dangerous.
Jan 24, 2019 20:10:00 GMT -5
lifeinwoodinville: I last heard from mrslowmaintenance about a month ago. I have been in regular contact with her for the last year and a half. I feel comfortable in saying that her situation remains unchanged. If you want to know more PM me.
Jan 25, 2019 22:36:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey baza,...I know it's hot and dry down under. N.C. is having record rainfall. I would gladly trade some rain for some sunshine....
Feb 22, 2019 20:28:35 GMT -5
tamara68: Today it's steak and blowjob day! I suppose the steak is for those who don't get a blowjob.
Mar 14, 2019 16:49:49 GMT -5
petrushka: tamara68 Laughing with tears in my eyes. And my steak is going to be semolina gruel, due to some tummy upset :-\
Mar 15, 2019 1:11:10 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: So sad to hear the news from New Zealand. Boston Strong supports Kiwi Strong!!
Mar 15, 2019 7:46:22 GMT -5
petrushka: I was gobsmacked when I heard. This is just not us. In all of 2017 we had 37 murders in the country ..... I think the echo chambers of "social media" have a lot to answer for.
Mar 15, 2019 18:45:45 GMT -5
baza: Feeling for our Brothers and Sisters across the ditch Brother petrushka .
Mar 15, 2019 19:27:50 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: petrushka, I thought I read the headline wrong (this stuff happens here, not in NZ). It is frightening the hate that is being spread; it makes my heart hurt.
Mar 15, 2019 20:46:54 GMT -5
saarinista: All of us, IMHO, should try to be civil and kind as much as possible in person and online. I actively Tweet (civilly) on political matters and am horrified by the rancor & trolling on both sides of the spectrum, which only inflames unstable people.
Mar 19, 2019 23:21:20 GMT -5
saarinista: is anyone else watching March Madness?
Mar 24, 2019 11:44:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: doesn't much look like it...
Mar 27, 2019 12:20:10 GMT -5
saarinista: Well, my team is going to the Final Four! I am beyond thrilled. Basketball is life.
Apr 1, 2019 0:47:14 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Congrats! Yay! I don't know how many people see the shout box, I don't think it shows up not he mobile version of the site. Maybe post something in the Off Topic section and more folks may see it?
Apr 1, 2019 15:38:34 GMT -5
wewbwb: Or, maybe baseball season started . . .
Apr 2, 2019 5:27:34 GMT -5
flashjohn: saarinista, my alma mater, Texas Tech, is also in the final four.
Apr 3, 2019 14:59:01 GMT -5
saarinista: : flashjohn Ruh, roh. Then we have to be mortal enemies for the weekend because I went to MSU!
Apr 4, 2019 16:09:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: The add attachment says a max of 1mb...I see plenty of videos that are way longer than that...how do I do that? My video is 4.97 mbs
Apr 25, 2019 20:10:25 GMT -5