But did his becoming aware of you being here, and his reading of your posts bring about any real change in him as far as intimacy? It's good the communication improved. Not good that the love quotient stayed the same.
Well, I would say that if it were at all possible to restart intimacy his being here would have been a catalyst. He had been refusing therapy before that. He had been refusing to hear that I was actually ready to call it quits. He had been refusing to hear how serious it was. After that we started therapy and started some real communication. In that process I came to realize this is not fixable at all. The shift that happened with him coming to this site was big. Healing? No. But important nonetheless.
We have a shared laptop computer that is primarily my W's but is open for me to use whenever I want. I actually left iliasm.org in the bookmarks bar almost a year ago. She still hasn't mentioned it so either she has looked and is avoiding discussing it, or she hasn't bothered to look at it.
Realizing that it was a reset. Learning to accept what is, without resentment.
Good. Let him learn. If he is like my ex, he will learn more lurking than he will from you repeatedly explaining in person what your needs are.
Yes, I wish he would get on here and read more. Unfortunately, he is more interested in his youtube videos about stupid shit, not interested in the marriage. I have repeatedly told him if he can't give me what I need I WILL eventually look elsewhere. I actually told him yesterday I would fuck anyone and everyone I could find that would be willing to fuck me if he didn't. This morning he finally did something for me after over two months of not touching me. I had to guide him, of course, but at least he did it. But as soon as it was over, it was over. He got up and left the room. I'm feeling indifferent at the moment. Just kind of waiting. Can't really do much right now anyways, so waiting is okay for me. I've survived two years. One more can't hurt!
Post by saarinista on Nov 10, 2018 14:04:02 GMT -5
Random thought-i think people should be less judgemental about affairs, outsourcing, whatever. living without sex and love is really painful for ao many as well as being pointless. just a mood I'm in. constantly, for the last couple of years.
When things get really bad, remember to keep breathing.
I would just like to say if I may, please don’t privatize these boards or make them unavailable to simple search engines.
I will admit that I found this site several moths ago and never posted until today. I don’t even remember how I happened across this site, but I will say it has in many ways been a place of refuge for someone who knows all about a sexless marriage. I live in a very small town and my in laws are very influential and it is extremely difficult to talk about things like this for people like me. But please realize, it is very helpful and vital for people like me to be able to find a place that symbolizes that I am not alone in my temporary world of hell.
I can understand uncomfortableness with lurkers, but please, please oblige.
misssunnybunny: I'm also very sad to see that andie is gone
Oct 22, 2018 16:25:07 GMT -5
jim44444: hmisssunnybunny not only did andie delete her existence here she also deleted her tumblr account. Maybe her hubby found her online postings.
Oct 22, 2018 19:52:59 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, no! Hope she is okay...
Oct 22, 2018 20:00:25 GMT -5
solodriver: I'm sad andie is gone too. She reached out to me when I first joined the group at a time when I was really sick, and talked to me everyday until I was well again and shared a lot of her stories with me.
Oct 22, 2018 20:58:28 GMT -5
isthisit: Apologies for being a techno numpty- can anyone help me to send a PM? When I choose the member as a recipient the error message indicating a staff member is required. Eh?
Nov 6, 2018 15:03:40 GMT -5
solodriver: isthisit you cannot send PMs until your membership changes to member
Nov 6, 2018 21:41:58 GMT -5
isthisit: Thanks solodriver and shynjdude for your replies. Is there some info somewhere about these divisions? I have had a mooch around and haven't come across it yet.
Nov 8, 2018 10:22:28 GMT -5
solodriver: I think it is/was under the Welcome tab, but not sure where.
Nov 8, 2018 21:52:19 GMT -5