I definitely recall a thread dealing with this, with plenty of helpful comments as well......but shit it is hard to find specific back stories in here. Using assorted options in the "search" functions can help.
Found this site that can calculate alimony payments based on general input data. Obviously specific individual factors can affect the amount but it gives you the general formula for calculation to get a rough estimate of what you may be looking at paying (or receiving) and it also narrows it down for several US states that have specific laws pertaining to alimony.
I have been to one initial attorney consult. I found my attorney by asking an attorney friend (non family law) for three recommendations. I said “I was asking for a friend”. I asked her to tell me why those were the 3 she recommended. Then I sent each of them an email and told them who recommended me and that I was looking for a consult. Then I just went on gut instinct + google based on the responses. And, because I was a referral from someone they respected my consult was only $150 vs $300. Go, take your financial info - all of it. Make a spread sheet. Assets , debts, income, recent tax filing.. Then take notes. Write down everything . It’s stressful and you will forget some things. I left my financial snapshot there in a file. I check in once per year and update info. It gives a measure of relief knowing that if the straw that breaks the camel falls - I have that piece calmly taken care of prior to the extreme stress event of whatever is going to finally force me out. Just having that info & attorney resource had a situation calming effect - put me more ‘in the drivers seat’ and changed my outlook at bit. It is good to be informed. Good luck and sorry you are wrestling with this too.