Post by choosinghappy on Oct 2, 2018 7:01:27 GMT -5
Previous posters are right on but I also want to add: when going through something like this you also feel vulnerable. Your comfort during vulnerable times in the past was likely your H and the comfortable familiarity in your life. So giving that up likely makes you feel more lost and conflicted. It’s natural! Hang in there warmways. We are here and we understand.
I’ve filed and my h is signing the initial papers and getting them to my lawyers office Tuesday…I should be happy. I’m instead full of guilt sadness confusion - everything. Trying to feel my emotions and then let them fall away but they keep coming.
I agree with this approach! Your feelings and emotions kind of "just happen". You don't get to decide them! What you do get to do is decide what you say and what you do when you feel them.
In some cases -- like during intense emotions that you are feeling now -- it is best to say and do as little as possible, until your brain can catch up with your emotions, and you can start to figure out what you want to say and do next.
Making lists of all the things he did that were so wrong so I will be angry and instead barely feeling anything. He avoided and ignored me for all this time and I still miss the familiarity. What is wrong with me?
This is understandable... but do not dwell in this. You've made your decision to move forward with the divorce. Spend more energy in TRUSTING THE PART OF YOU that made that decision.
I keep wanting to reach out to him even though I know it’s unhealthy.
I think I understand that from a "breakup" I had many years ago: I was so sad... and the person who I always turned to to discuss my feelings was... her! Yeah: find someone else. Us; an IRL friend; your therapist.
Dan thanks for your thoughts. My sister said the same feel your feelings but don’t act on them and my therapist said I don’t need to send my mother in law a card at all and just wahat you said - she needs to rely on her family friends a and herself and deal with her feelings.
Dan thanks for your thoughts and great input. My sister said the same feel your feelings but don’t act on them and my therapist said I don’t need to send my mother in law a card at all and just wahat you said - she needs to rely on her family friends a and herself and deal with her feelings.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: tamara68 Laughing with tears in my eyes. And my steak is going to be semolina gruel, due to some tummy upset :-\
Mar 15, 2019 1:11:10 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: So sad to hear the news from New Zealand. Boston Strong supports Kiwi Strong!!
Mar 15, 2019 7:46:22 GMT -5
petrushka: I was gobsmacked when I heard. This is just not us. In all of 2017 we had 37 murders in the country ..... I think the echo chambers of "social media" have a lot to answer for.
Mar 15, 2019 18:45:45 GMT -5
baza: Feeling for our Brothers and Sisters across the ditch Brother petrushka .
Mar 15, 2019 19:27:50 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: petrushka, I thought I read the headline wrong (this stuff happens here, not in NZ). It is frightening the hate that is being spread; it makes my heart hurt.
Mar 15, 2019 20:46:54 GMT -5
saarinista: All of us, IMHO, should try to be civil and kind as much as possible in person and online. I actively Tweet (civilly) on political matters and am horrified by the rancor & trolling on both sides of the spectrum, which only inflames unstable people.
Mar 19, 2019 23:21:20 GMT -5
saarinista: is anyone else watching March Madness?
Mar 24, 2019 11:44:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: doesn't much look like it...
Mar 27, 2019 12:20:10 GMT -5
saarinista: Well, my team is going to the Final Four! I am beyond thrilled. Basketball is life.
Apr 1, 2019 0:47:14 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Congrats! Yay! I don't know how many people see the shout box, I don't think it shows up not he mobile version of the site. Maybe post something in the Off Topic section and more folks may see it?
Apr 1, 2019 15:38:34 GMT -5
wewbwb: Or, maybe baseball season started . . .
Apr 2, 2019 5:27:34 GMT -5
flashjohn: saarinista, my alma mater, Texas Tech, is also in the final four.
Apr 3, 2019 14:59:01 GMT -5
saarinista: : flashjohn Ruh, roh. Then we have to be mortal enemies for the weekend because I went to MSU!
Apr 4, 2019 16:09:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: The add attachment says a max of 1mb...I see plenty of videos that are way longer than that...how do I do that? My video is 4.97 mbs
Apr 25, 2019 20:10:25 GMT -5
h: The videos posted aren't attached. They are links to videos outside the site.
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sexlessinga: Hi guys just joined
May 10, 2019 20:49:28 GMT -5
worksforme2: @mslowmaintenance….long time no see, welcome back...
May 29, 2019 9:30:25 GMT -5
noregretz: You can never outrun a Grizzly bear, but that's ok. You only have to outrun the person you're with....
Jun 15, 2019 12:28:09 GMT -5
solodriver: or in this case your refuser.
Jun 16, 2019 19:21:47 GMT -5