Post by choosinghappy on Oct 2, 2018 7:01:27 GMT -5
Previous posters are right on but I also want to add: when going through something like this you also feel vulnerable. Your comfort during vulnerable times in the past was likely your H and the comfortable familiarity in your life. So giving that up likely makes you feel more lost and conflicted. It’s natural! Hang in there warmways. We are here and we understand.
I’ve filed and my h is signing the initial papers and getting them to my lawyers office Tuesday…I should be happy. I’m instead full of guilt sadness confusion - everything. Trying to feel my emotions and then let them fall away but they keep coming.
I agree with this approach! Your feelings and emotions kind of "just happen". You don't get to decide them! What you do get to do is decide what you say and what you do when you feel them.
In some cases -- like during intense emotions that you are feeling now -- it is best to say and do as little as possible, until your brain can catch up with your emotions, and you can start to figure out what you want to say and do next.
Making lists of all the things he did that were so wrong so I will be angry and instead barely feeling anything. He avoided and ignored me for all this time and I still miss the familiarity. What is wrong with me?
This is understandable... but do not dwell in this. You've made your decision to move forward with the divorce. Spend more energy in TRUSTING THE PART OF YOU that made that decision.
I keep wanting to reach out to him even though I know it’s unhealthy.
I think I understand that from a "breakup" I had many years ago: I was so sad... and the person who I always turned to to discuss my feelings was... her! Yeah: find someone else. Us; an IRL friend; your therapist.
Dan thanks for your thoughts. My sister said the same feel your feelings but don’t act on them and my therapist said I don’t need to send my mother in law a card at all and just wahat you said - she needs to rely on her family friends a and herself and deal with her feelings.
Dan thanks for your thoughts and great input. My sister said the same feel your feelings but don’t act on them and my therapist said I don’t need to send my mother in law a card at all and just wahat you said - she needs to rely on her family friends a and herself and deal with her feelings.
solodriver: Happy Birthday shamwow!!
Oct 11, 2018 20:35:02 GMT -5
shynjdude: Andie seems to have deleted her account here. Hope she's OK.
Oct 12, 2018 9:41:52 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, no! I hope she is okay...
Oct 12, 2018 15:31:30 GMT -5
solodriver: Maybe over what happened last weekend with the discussion board men vs. women
Oct 12, 2018 20:42:13 GMT -5
jetcity: Had to have my cat put down today. He was very old and he let us know it was time this morning. My wife went to visit her mother today So now It’s just me, the cats and dog and a couple cold beers. Now that’s a party right?
Oct 12, 2018 21:57:32 GMT -5
solodriver: So sorry jetcity, I've done that many times over the years, never gets any easier.
Oct 12, 2018 22:45:20 GMT -5
jetcity: I managed to create an avatar! The beard and mustache are kind of funky though.
Oct 12, 2018 23:30:07 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Welcome, dontstart! Feel free to post in the introduction thread; not many people see/use the shout box. Read and explore here, and hope you find us a helpful community.
Oct 14, 2018 10:41:21 GMT -5
caballotierra: Hey all, I setup a new account since my W figured out my login and was using my posts against me. Since we're going through divorce, I thought it would be safer to remove my old name. Although I feel attached to it.
Oct 15, 2018 16:12:30 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, wow. Sorry that happened to you!
Oct 15, 2018 16:36:32 GMT -5
caballotierra: Does anyone know how to delete my old account? Right now, it's still searchable, which is a problem.
Oct 16, 2018 12:12:19 GMT -5