Post by choosinghappy on Oct 2, 2018 7:01:27 GMT -5
Previous posters are right on but I also want to add: when going through something like this you also feel vulnerable. Your comfort during vulnerable times in the past was likely your H and the comfortable familiarity in your life. So giving that up likely makes you feel more lost and conflicted. It’s natural! Hang in there warmways. We are here and we understand.
I’ve filed and my h is signing the initial papers and getting them to my lawyers office Tuesday…I should be happy. I’m instead full of guilt sadness confusion - everything. Trying to feel my emotions and then let them fall away but they keep coming.
I agree with this approach! Your feelings and emotions kind of "just happen". You don't get to decide them! What you do get to do is decide what you say and what you do when you feel them.
In some cases -- like during intense emotions that you are feeling now -- it is best to say and do as little as possible, until your brain can catch up with your emotions, and you can start to figure out what you want to say and do next.
Making lists of all the things he did that were so wrong so I will be angry and instead barely feeling anything. He avoided and ignored me for all this time and I still miss the familiarity. What is wrong with me?
This is understandable... but do not dwell in this. You've made your decision to move forward with the divorce. Spend more energy in TRUSTING THE PART OF YOU that made that decision.
I keep wanting to reach out to him even though I know it’s unhealthy.
I think I understand that from a "breakup" I had many years ago: I was so sad... and the person who I always turned to to discuss my feelings was... her! Yeah: find someone else. Us; an IRL friend; your therapist.
Dan thanks for your thoughts. My sister said the same feel your feelings but don’t act on them and my therapist said I don’t need to send my mother in law a card at all and just wahat you said - she needs to rely on her family friends a and herself and deal with her feelings.
Dan thanks for your thoughts and great input. My sister said the same feel your feelings but don’t act on them and my therapist said I don’t need to send my mother in law a card at all and just wahat you said - she needs to rely on her family friends a and herself and deal with her feelings.
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! So glad to hear you had a great day
Jan 19, 2019 16:34:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: anyone hear anything lately from mrslowmaintenance or smartkat?
Jan 24, 2019 18:06:02 GMT -5
petrushka: Just saw the forecast for Mildura at 47C -- I hope you and Ms. Enna are going to be ok Baz. That's getting dangerous.
Jan 24, 2019 20:10:00 GMT -5
lifeinwoodinville: I last heard from mrslowmaintenance about a month ago. I have been in regular contact with her for the last year and a half. I feel comfortable in saying that her situation remains unchanged. If you want to know more PM me.
Jan 25, 2019 22:36:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey baza,...I know it's hot and dry down under. N.C. is having record rainfall. I would gladly trade some rain for some sunshine....
Feb 22, 2019 20:28:35 GMT -5