Post by choosinghappy on Oct 2, 2018 7:01:27 GMT -5
Previous posters are right on but I also want to add: when going through something like this you also feel vulnerable. Your comfort during vulnerable times in the past was likely your H and the comfortable familiarity in your life. So giving that up likely makes you feel more lost and conflicted. It’s natural! Hang in there warmways. We are here and we understand.
I’ve filed and my h is signing the initial papers and getting them to my lawyers office Tuesday…I should be happy. I’m instead full of guilt sadness confusion - everything. Trying to feel my emotions and then let them fall away but they keep coming.
I agree with this approach! Your feelings and emotions kind of "just happen". You don't get to decide them! What you do get to do is decide what you say and what you do when you feel them.
In some cases -- like during intense emotions that you are feeling now -- it is best to say and do as little as possible, until your brain can catch up with your emotions, and you can start to figure out what you want to say and do next.
Making lists of all the things he did that were so wrong so I will be angry and instead barely feeling anything. He avoided and ignored me for all this time and I still miss the familiarity. What is wrong with me?
This is understandable... but do not dwell in this. You've made your decision to move forward with the divorce. Spend more energy in TRUSTING THE PART OF YOU that made that decision.
I keep wanting to reach out to him even though I know it’s unhealthy.
I think I understand that from a "breakup" I had many years ago: I was so sad... and the person who I always turned to to discuss my feelings was... her! Yeah: find someone else. Us; an IRL friend; your therapist.
Dan thanks for your thoughts. My sister said the same feel your feelings but don’t act on them and my therapist said I don’t need to send my mother in law a card at all and just wahat you said - she needs to rely on her family friends a and herself and deal with her feelings.
Dan thanks for your thoughts and great input. My sister said the same feel your feelings but don’t act on them and my therapist said I don’t need to send my mother in law a card at all and just wahat you said - she needs to rely on her family friends a and herself and deal with her feelings.
handy: Cutiecakes, I see you posted on another forum. How about copying that other post and place it here. It hase some very relevant information and I think this forum will be of more help.
Dec 3, 2018 17:17:52 GMT -5
worksforme2: Watching the funeral....RIP George Herbert Walker Bush
Dec 5, 2018 12:46:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: Man oh man, look at all that snow. Looks like snow cream is going to be on the menu today.
Dec 9, 2018 13:23:24 GMT -5