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Post by Handy on Sept 29, 2018 19:26:44 GMT -5
choosinghappy no sex after the kid is born, was that a Madonna-whore situation?
Madonna-whore is when the H will have sex with his GF or W but not after the kid is born because a mother is too holy to to have sex with. The mother = the Madonna, too sacred to defile with sex. A few women also had a similar problem, they didn't think there H was a sexual being, just a dad.
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Post by choosinghappy on Sept 29, 2018 21:07:07 GMT -5
No Handy, not a Madonna-whore situation. We never had a good sex life. He suffered sexual abuse as a child.
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Post by Handy on Sept 29, 2018 21:09:07 GMT -5
Thanks for the reply choosinghappy. Childhood sexual abuse is a real sexuality killer.
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Post by choosinghappy on Sept 29, 2018 21:09:53 GMT -5
My ex remembered. When we were in therapy he was the one who came right out and said that we hadn’t had sex since conceiving our son. He acknowledged it was a problem, HIS problem, and that he knew that that was why I was so unhappy. It was sad to sit there and hear him acknowledge the problem but also that he didn’t feel capable of fixing it. There was no denial in our marriage, just no way he could see that he would desire sex or intimacy with me. He didn’t say that in so many words but that was the gist. Sobering as hell. That must have hurt a lot, choosinghappyAt the time it did nyctos. But I was already hurting and in a way it was cleansing to hear him “admit” things. And in the end it turned out to be a very good thing because I received clarity on my situation, which many here do not: I knew it would be very difficult for him, if not impossible, to make progress in this way and for our marriage to improve. It was almost a gift because the lack of doubt made my decision easier.
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 29, 2018 21:21:28 GMT -5
At the time it did nyctos . But I was already hurting and in a way it was cleansing to hear him “admit” things. And in the end it turned out to be a very good thing because I received clarity on my situation, which many here do not: I knew it would be very difficult for him, if not impossible, to make progress in this way and for our marriage to improve. It was almost a gift because the lack of doubt made my decision easier. some of our spouses "admit' to things, without saying "yes it's true". Instead they say"so? I don't have a problem with it". They like it that way, and you're supposed to accept that ,and they just don't want to ever admit that there is any problem at all with them, it's all you! Once you finally realize that, the doubt goes away, and the decision to end things gets easier.
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Jan 17, 2019 22:28:01 GMT -5
Make no mistake the Refuser remembers everything like clockwork. They might try and claim otherwise cause its suits their needs.
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