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Post by saarinista on Sept 17, 2018 1:53:52 GMT -5
I can't answer this, even with a time machine going back a few months when my marriage was sexless. My wife never, ever initiated, going back decades. Thankfully, things have changed, and I'm still optimistic. amazeballs! glory be.
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Post by saarinista on Sept 17, 2018 1:59:02 GMT -5
Daddeeo I suppose we could fuck, but it feels manipulative on her part.That sounds like what happened to me a few times. We had sex and now I owed her something OR she could more shoes and purses. I counted 50 pair of shoes at one time, they are all on shoe racks. Purses get hidden so i didn't count them. wowza. and those shoe racks alone are pricey-not to mention the shoes.
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Post by Handy on Sept 17, 2018 4:19:45 GMT -5
saarinista, the shoes and other things are refereed to as "retail therapy." It makes my wife feel good for a little while, then she needs another hit, so buys more things. S lot of her buying is done at home through catalogs and especially the popular TV shopping channels.
So if we had sex she needs to be rewarded by buying something to get her fix. Making out and having wasn't making her feel good. A one hour presentation about some shoe that came with a video about how to walk with the new shoes, well that was potentially going to make her happier, according to the product demonstration / host on the TV. Ron Popeil and other TV sales marketers promise to make your life happier and he and others like him sell a lot of stuff.
Just what does a person do with 4 blenders, 4 food processors, a steamer trunk of beauty ans shampoo products, pair of shoes, this and that new types of newish fabric clothing, and 4 pot and pan sets, and 4 pressure cookers, to name a few things. Yea, sex is bad for women, it is all about men, but all this junk will make her less depressed.
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Post by flounder on Sept 17, 2018 4:24:18 GMT -5
I voted yes but I think this needs another category: "I am turned off because it has been SO long that I no longer have any attraction for him/her." Or perhaps: "I am turned off because xxx years of neglect have left me incapable of seeing this person as sexual." Agree. It becomes really awkward when it has been awhile.
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Post by flounder on Sept 17, 2018 4:28:23 GMT -5
Just what does a person do with 4 blenders, 4 food processors, a steamer trunk of beauty ans shampoo products, pair of shoes, this and that new types of newish fabric clothing, and 4 pot and pan sets, and 4 pressure cookers, to name a few things.
Start a catering business ?
You can have an affair with the help ! Lol. Just kidding!
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Post by lifeinwoodinville on Sept 17, 2018 8:17:01 GMT -5
My wife initiated sex a number of times, all when she was trying to get pregnant. We didn't take my suggested method for getting pregnant, which was to fuck every day until she was pregnant. Instead she calculated the exact day and time in which she was "most fertile" every month and then made her move. Never any more then that. It took over a year for her to get pregnant with both kids. I'm sure it was living hell for her to have to have intercourse with me all those extra times.
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 17, 2018 8:23:11 GMT -5
My wife initiated sex a number of times, all when she was trying to get pregnant. We didn't take my suggested method for getting pregnant, which was to fuck every day until she was pregnant. Instead she calculated the exact day and time in which she was "most fertile" every month and then made her move. Never any more then that. It took over a year for her to get pregnant with both kids. I'm sure it was living hell for her to have to have intercourse with me all those extra times. Just some helpful information, that behavior has a title, "greysexual".
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Post by lifeinwoodinville on Sept 17, 2018 8:30:58 GMT -5
My wife initiated sex a number of times, all when she was trying to get pregnant. We didn't take my suggested method for getting pregnant, which was to fuck every day until she was pregnant. Instead she calculated the exact day and time in which she was "most fertile" every month and then made her move. Never any more then that. It took over a year for her to get pregnant with both kids. I'm sure it was living hell for her to have to have intercourse with me all those extra times. Just some helpful information, that behavior has a title, "greysexual". Interesting, I've been referring to it as "fucking irritating".
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Post by mescaline on Sept 17, 2018 8:47:49 GMT -5
I find it really awkward being approached for sex by my wife now. I get relieved when it's that time of the month as it means it's guaranteed she won't approach me.
When the situation does arrive, my body is willing, but my mind is screaming the opposite. I haven't managed to climax with her for a couple of years now. Mind you, that's probably only three chances anyway!
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 17, 2018 9:16:12 GMT -5
Just some helpful information, that behavior has a title, "greysexual". Interesting, I've been referring to it as "fucking irritating". Sadly the only "fucking" going on is with your mind. Mental abuse is devastating. Fortunately YOU can recover. You can look up 'greysexual' I don't think you will learn much if you google 'fucking irritating'. (lol) Part of the 'unraveling' process is recognizing, " this person has problems and it affects me in a very bad way, I need healing." Then comes taking steps and planning. I wish you well on your journey!
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Post by javba on Sept 17, 2018 11:47:00 GMT -5
Wow, Conciliatory fucking seems to be very low?? or just an effect of sample selection?
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 17, 2018 17:44:25 GMT -5
Wow, Conciliatory fucking seems to be very low?? or just an effect of sample selection? For over two decades, reset sex was all I got, and it was better than nothing, and gave me hope next time would be better. By the time you read through this site, you realize that "reset sex" is not the experience you want, and that there are motives your partner has far removed from enjoying intimacy.
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Post by lifeinwoodinville on Sept 18, 2018 0:28:42 GMT -5
Interesting, I've been referring to it as "fucking irritating". Sadly the only "fucking" going on is with your mind. Mental abuse is devastating. Fortunately YOU can recover. You can look up 'greysexual' I don't think you will learn much if you google 'fucking irritating'. (lol) Part of the 'unraveling' process is recognizing, " this person has problems and it affects me in a very bad way, I need healing." Then comes taking steps and planning. I wish you well on your journey! I read up on "greysexual" as you suggested. I don't think thats her, I think she is asexual. But thanks for the suggested reading.
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Post by Carol on Sept 18, 2018 1:40:13 GMT -5
I have no desire for him at all. Anytime we’ve attempted to be physical, I just cannot get into it. After 15 years of no sex and minimal affection, there is just nothing left other then a friendship between us. I know part of him is relieved that sex is off the table at this point. That way there is no pressure on him.
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Post by saarinista on Sept 18, 2018 3:00:14 GMT -5
saarinista, the shoes and other things are refereed to as "retail therapy." It makes my wife feel good for a little while, then she needs another hit, so buys more things. S lot of her buying is done at home through catalogs and especially the popular TV shopping channels. So if we had sex she needs to be rewarded by buying something to get her fix. Making out and having wasn't making her feel good. A one hour presentation about some shoe that came with a video about how to walk with the new shoes, well that was potentially going to make her happier, according to the product demonstration / host on the TV. Ron Popeil and other TV sales marketers promise to make your life happier and he and others like him sell a lot of stuff. Just what does a person do with 4 blenders, 4 food processors, a steamer trunk of beauty ans shampoo products, pair of shoes, this and that new types of newish fabric clothing, and 4 pot and pan sets, and 4 pressure cookers, to name a few things. Yea, sex is bad for women, it is all about men, but all this junk will make her less depressed. oh dear lord. materialism is the scourge of humanity. yeah, that's not mentally healthy behavior on her part. unfortunately, it's very common. 😩 unfortunately, I doubt she'll change after all these years. that's sad. 🙁
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