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Post by javba on Sept 16, 2018 10:55:00 GMT -5
This is a POLL best viewed in a browser.
I am having trouble reciprocating to my spouse, because I know that's more of a gesture, than a desire. My spouse will put up, but it just FEELS wrong. After 2 decades if there is ONE thing I know - She's not into this.
Then there's "The one thing worse than NO SEX is forced sex i.e. forcing yourself or someone else" even if they're contractually obliged.
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Post by javba on Sept 16, 2018 10:56:04 GMT -5
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Post by shamwow on Sept 16, 2018 11:03:32 GMT -5
I was turned off by my ex simply because begging isn't a turn on for me.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2018 14:34:40 GMT -5
I can't answer this, even with a time machine going back a few months when my marriage was sexless.
My wife never, ever initiated, going back decades.
Thankfully, things have changed, and I'm still optimistic.
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Post by ballofconfusion on Sept 16, 2018 16:42:10 GMT -5
My ex never initiated even once in 25 years. I can't answer the poll - except, perhaps, hypothetically. I would have been turned off just a few years into the marriage.
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Post by h on Sept 16, 2018 17:57:07 GMT -5
I take whatever I can get. Now, she's the only one who ever initiates. I quit asking over a year ago, shortly after joining this forum. I'm mostly happy to oblige any of her initiations, but occasionally, the general state of our marriage makes me less than enthusiastic, but I don't refuse unless I have already taken care of myself immediately before she asks.
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Post by choosinghappy on Sept 16, 2018 21:15:10 GMT -5
Another one here who can’t participate because my spouse never initiated.
My memory is foggy now but I would say after a year of celibacy I would have felt awkward about being approached by him and after 3 years without, yes, I was turned off. I would have been a counter refuser at that point had there been anything to refuse.
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Post by workingonit on Sept 16, 2018 21:22:29 GMT -5
I voted yes but I think this needs another category: "I am turned off because it has been SO long that I no longer have any attraction for him/her." Or perhaps: "I am turned off because xxx years of neglect have left me incapable of seeing this person as sexual."
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 16, 2018 21:54:21 GMT -5
Being a month from, hopefully, from an official divorce, and having not seen my estranged stbx in over three months, I am not sure if I should vote.
My final year went from putting a lot of pressure on my wife to giving up but not refusing her reset sex, to an absolute refusal, and then, after I told her I was seeing someone else, that was the absolute end of any attempt at physical contact.
My stbx is an attractive woman, but, in the end it was like having an attractive sibling. No turn-on at all.
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Post by javba on Sept 16, 2018 21:59:07 GMT -5
Being a month from, hopefully, from an official divorce, and having not seen my estranged stbx in over three months, I am not sure if I should vote. My final year went from putting a lot of pressure on my wife to giving up but not refusing her reset sex, to an absolute refusal, and then, after I told her I was seeing someone else, that was the absolute end of any attempt at physical contact. My stbx is an attractive woman, but, in the end it was like having an attractive sibling. No turn-on at all. Wishing you blue skies and lustful Co pilot to come
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 16, 2018 22:02:32 GMT -5
Then there's "The one thing worse than NO SEX is forced sex i.e. forcing yourself or someone else" even if they're contractually obliged. This ^^^^^. The end was the realization that she was never going to want me sexually. I rolled off her and told her she'd had twenty-four years to have a sexual relationship with me, and it was over.
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Post by ironhamster on Sept 16, 2018 22:07:00 GMT -5
Being a month from, hopefully, from an official divorce, and having not seen my estranged stbx in over three months, I am not sure if I should vote. My final year went from putting a lot of pressure on my wife to giving up but not refusing her reset sex, to an absolute refusal, and then, after I told her I was seeing someone else, that was the absolute end of any attempt at physical contact. My stbx is an attractive woman, but, in the end it was like having an attractive sibling. No turn-on at all. Wishing you blue skies and lustful Co pilot to come I could label my situation as "complicated." I have a partner I am deeply in love with, but it is not and will not be a monogamous relationship. I am happy with the arrangement, as is she.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 16, 2018 22:36:00 GMT -5
She has been putting out vibes which in the past have led to sex.
I do get physically aroused when this happens but I resist. My heart is no longer in it. I suppose we could fuck, but it feels manipulative on her part.
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Post by Handy on Sept 17, 2018 0:02:59 GMT -5
Daddeeo I suppose we could fuck, but it feels manipulative on her part.
That sounds like what happened to me a few times. We had sex and now I owed her something OR she could more shoes and purses. I counted 50 pair of shoes at one time, they are all on shoe racks. Purses get hidden so i didn't count them.
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Post by solodriver on Sept 17, 2018 1:35:24 GMT -5
workingonit described it perfectly for me
It's been SO LONG (19 years) I no longer have any attraction for her.
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