Post by solodriver on Aug 25, 2018 22:39:54 GMT -5
After working in the yard and running some errands this morning, I decided I needed to take a shower this afternoon to clean up and be able to stand myself (lol).
When I got out of the shower and dried off, I went into my room to find some underwear. Apparently they never made it from the dryer basket to the drawer when the wife took them out. So I went into her room, of course naked, looking through the clothes basket for them.
She was watching TV. As I was searching through the clothes basket, she asked "What are you doing?" I said I was looking for my underwear. She said "Could you please hurry up" I asked why?
She told me, her husband of 30 years, "Your naked butt is creeping me out!" I felt like I had just been kicked in my balls. I turned around to face her and said "EXCUSE ME?"
She said "Please hurry up and get out of here!"
I stood in front of her with my naked body in her face for about 30 more seconds and then I turned back to the clothes basket, found my underwear and left.
As soon as I got dressed I had to go do some grocery shopping and I immediately left without saying another word to her.
My heart was pounding and tears were coming out involuntarily as I drove to the store. I had to sit in the car for a few minutes and pull myself back together before going in to get the grocery shopping done. As I was shopping I keep looking at the women wondering which of them would tell their husband or lover such a thing.
The thing that helped me cool off was they very nice woman who checked me out. She smiled and was friendly to me and was helpful with getting the groceries into the cart. I have to admit I noticed her loose top and admired her and her smile and friendliness took the sting away of what happened earlier at home. I went home much calmer than I did when I got there.
My wife really HURT me. That to me was the ULTIMATE rejection. She has not seen me naked for a very long time because I always dress and undress in the other bedroom. So this was the first time in at least 5 years that she has seen me naked.
This definitely has caused me to not have ANY desire left to work on our marriage.
I now feel ugly when I'm in her presence. She has judged my naked body as one not worth seeing and to use her word "creepy".
I know that my body has a few "issues", a scar from a emergency surgery almost 20 years ago, a few more skin bumps and some weight that I've put on, but certainty not "gross" I don't think.
I guess my self esteem has taken a serious hit and maybe I will never be able to appeal to anyone again. I will work on trying to get the weight off, but maybe it won't be enough.
I know one thing for sure. She will never have to feel "creepy" around me again.
I have a feeling I will be involuntarily crying myself to sleep tonight, especially when I remember how she loved seeing me naked the first time over 30 years ago when she gave me oral sex totally uninhibited.
Maybe there really isn't any hope for romance and love again in my future, but I'm sure as hell not staying with my refuser wife after next summer. I would be better by myself than with her especially with my "creepy" body.