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Post by baza on Aug 22, 2018 2:47:11 GMT -5
Here's another sample of 10 with a common joining date of 30th March 2016. I have a particular interest in this sample because I am in it !! together with 9 others. baza - last post August 2018 - left (left before I ever joined this group) counted as "left" Frustrated1978 - last post Feb 2018 - staying (went real close to leaving at one point) missinhard - last post August 2018 - left graessparrow - last post April 2016 - basically inactive sminpa - last post June 2018 - staying @lostsoul - last post August 2018 - staying rain - last post March 2016 - basically inactive pinkjeanie70 - last post Sep 2016 - basically inactive @creelunion - last post August 2018 - left plainoldme724 - last post April 2016 - basically inactive 4 - basically went inactive 3 - staying 3 - left And yet again, no examples of turnaround situations. I promise I will cease doing these samples for a while, they are probably starting to give you the shits. Must admit though, I find them fascinating in a morbid sort of way.
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Post by flounder on Aug 22, 2018 4:42:07 GMT -5
Get a hobby. Go play some Jenga or something. Jeez.
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Post by flounder on Aug 22, 2018 4:42:47 GMT -5
Please know that I’m joking !
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Post by ironhamster on Aug 22, 2018 17:53:28 GMT -5
If there was one place on the internet to find the solution, to turn an ILIASM shithole marriage into a good one, it would be here, somewhere.
Just like there are people searching for the lost continent of Atlantis, and Sasquach, and alien first encounters, some people keep searching for solutions, or opt to accept their lot in life.
They have both my pity and my blessing. I hope they find their happiness, their solution, but I fear they are setting themselves up for failure.
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Post by shamwow on Aug 22, 2018 18:34:59 GMT -5
I for one am glad.....
Now I know it wasn't the sushi at the Chinese buffet that gave me the shits. Thought I wasn't going to be able to go back there.
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Post by baza on Aug 22, 2018 19:30:10 GMT -5
Just out of interest, I "doctored" a sample of 10 to make sure I got a "turnaround" in it. I selected the most credible turnaround member timeforliving2 plus the next 9 members to join straight after him. That date was April 24 2016 when T4L2 and 9 others joined. Result, same as the other samples of 10 keep chucking up, bar there being one (ONE, 1) examples of a turnaround. Turnarounds are real rare, like ironhamster notes above. In total, there's been 22 of these random samples of 10 looked at thus far. That's getting toward one quarter of the total membership sampled, and the same results keep coming up. The other thing to note is that T4L2 was actually at 'turned around' status from back in the old ILIASM days. That is to say, this turnaround didn't happen between 24 April 2016 and now. It happened a year or two before that.
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Post by flashjohn on Aug 23, 2018 10:03:35 GMT -5
If there was one place on the internet to find the solution, to turn an ILIASM shithole marriage into a good one, it would be here, somewhere. I have sometimes thought that if I was a refuser, and read some of the posts here, it would scare the living shit out of me. If I cared about my marriage at all, I would immediately apologize to my spouse and start fucking him/her as much as possible.
But sometimes we will have a refuser come here, and start pontificating about how he/she is really a wonderful spouse, and the rejected spouse is the one who is the problem. It has reinforced my belief that a spouse who will refuse sex in marriage is a VERY selfish and self-absorbed person.
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Post by ironhamster on Aug 23, 2018 11:18:18 GMT -5
If there was one place on the internet to find the solution, to turn an ILIASM shithole marriage into a good one, it would be here, somewhere. I have sometimes thought that if I was a refuser, and read some of the posts here, it would scare the living shit out of me. If I cared about my marriage at all, I would immediately apologize to my spouse and start fucking him/her as much as possible.
But sometimes we will have a refuser come here, and start pontificating about how he/she is really a wonderful spouse, and the rejected spouse is the one who is the problem. It has reinforced my belief that a spouse who will refuse sex in marriage is a VERY selfish and self-absorbed person.
My refuser did find this board, and made one post before filing for divorce. She had no interest in fixing her shit, and no apology to offer. Selfish and self-absorbed, indeed.
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Post by workingonit on Aug 23, 2018 13:21:19 GMT -5
I have sometimes thought that if I was a refuser, and read some of the posts here, it would scare the living shit out of me. If I cared about my marriage at all, I would immediately apologize to my spouse and start fucking him/her as much as possible.
But sometimes we will have a refuser come here, and start pontificating about how he/she is really a wonderful spouse, and the rejected spouse is the one who is the problem. It has reinforced my belief that a spouse who will refuse sex in marriage is a VERY selfish and self-absorbed person.
My refuser did find this board, and made one post before filing for divorce. She had no interest in fixing her shit, and no apology to offer. Selfish and self-absorbed, indeed. Your STBX posted here?!! Can you link to it? I am so curious what she thought she could add to any of these conversations. My h found this site too, as many may recall. It did not go well. He was really shocked and hurt. But I stuck to what I had written. He knows I still post here. For all I know he still lurks. He does not mention it to me though so I doubt it. He does not have the ability to contain his feelings like that.
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Post by ironhamster on Aug 23, 2018 13:26:59 GMT -5
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Post by workingonit on Aug 23, 2018 13:28:23 GMT -5
Ok. So nothing said really.
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Post by ironhamster on Aug 23, 2018 14:09:44 GMT -5
Ok. So nothing said really. Nothing at all. Idgaf had recently posted about our vacation together. I'm sure my stbx had quite a revelation there. She never mentioned having found this site, but did mention that I had a sex drive she would never be able to keep up with. For all the talk of divorce, the third party confirmation seems to have been the catalyst that caused her to file.
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Post by workingonit on Aug 23, 2018 14:26:01 GMT -5
Ok. So nothing said really. Nothing at all. Idgaf had recently posted about our vacation together. I'm sure my stbx had quite a revelation there. She never mentioned having found this site, but did mention that I had a sex drive she would never be able to keep up with. For all the talk of divorce, the third party confirmation seems to have been the catalyst that caused her to file. I find her incredulity at needing to search for such a site hilarious actually. Maybe she thought it was a support group for people who think marriage should be sexless? Like "I live in a sexless marriage" is said with pride and swagger and we offer tips on how to stay pure and sexless??
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Post by ironhamster on Aug 23, 2018 14:51:02 GMT -5
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Post by flashjohn on Aug 23, 2018 15:13:00 GMT -5
I have sometimes thought that if I was a refuser, and read some of the posts here, it would scare the living shit out of me. If I cared about my marriage at all, I would immediately apologize to my spouse and start fucking him/her as much as possible.
But sometimes we will have a refuser come here, and start pontificating about how he/she is really a wonderful spouse, and the rejected spouse is the one who is the problem. It has reinforced my belief that a spouse who will refuse sex in marriage is a VERY selfish and self-absorbed person.
My refuser did find this board, and made one post before filing for divorce. She had no interest in fixing her shit, and no apology to offer. Selfish and self-absorbed, indeed. Well, she really didn't say much.
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