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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2018 22:35:48 GMT -5
It is like a piece of life has been removed. Like skipping life from 4 till 5. The clock hit 4 then it is 5, poof. That was the time for sex, so life in incomplete. Life's grade for the past 20 years is incomplete.
I cant tell if my ambition and zest for life is gone due to the lack of sex or because of age. Probably a combination of both.
I am still affectionate but not as much as I was. Now people ask if we are newly weds only a couple times a year instead of every week.
That sexual romantic side, that was so very important, is gone. I fear I may never have sex or be that way ever again. I was fun and romantic, always finding a way to fit sex it to the activities in a seamless way. It just fit.
What I really miss most is that felling that I love her and she loves me, and it is us against the world!!! I feel that partnership is gone.
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Post by greatcoastal on Aug 22, 2018 7:45:21 GMT -5
For me: My home state. My family, friends, and relatives. My career. My taste in music. My sexual desire. My sense of humor. My ability to lead. My self respect, and confidence. my Manliness. I wrote something similar in another thread. I hope it will be helpful to you ,like yours are for me! www.iliasm.org/thread/3633/working-grief-saying-goodbye
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Post by choosinghappy on Aug 24, 2018 15:00:21 GMT -5
I also had a lot of things about myself that were stifled while in my SM due to either implicit or explicit rejection by my H: (I'm plagiarizing some of them from @workingonit and heartbrokengirl) -My general zest for life and fun-loving personality -Affectionate, touchy-feely self -General goofiness -Confidence -Sexuality -Sense of adventure and spontaneity (in both every day life and sexually) -LOST: Years of having fun and actually living life I was unwilling to fully LOSE any of these parts of myself (beyond the years already wasted) which is why I decided to cut my losses after only 6 years of marriage (11 together). What I GAINED when in my SM was weight, depression and self-doubt. But through working on myself and leaving my SM, those pieces of myself that I like have started to come back. I've written this before but I will never forget when, during our final appointment together, my therapist who had never tried to steer me in any direction towards leaving or staying in my marriage slipped me a piece of paper with the quote: "Don't let anyone dull your shine". That told me all I needed to know.
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