Hi,everyone I am a 34 woman. I have a daughter and I love my husband.i live in a sexless marriage for almost 6 years,after my daughter was born everything changed very quickly. you know we have sex like twice in a year and I feel terrible because I really love sex i tried so many times to start with my husband but I don’t know every time he has his excuses. how should i talk to him? how can i express my emotion? he is a good man nd i know he loves me too. we have cuddles, hugs but no sex ? what should i do?
Post by worksforme2 on Jul 29, 2018 10:52:23 GMT -5
You'll need to pick a time when there's no rush. Approach it from a perspective of a problem that has to be addressed before it gets any worse. Don't assign blame or be confrontational. Explain to him how hurtful it is to you when your intimacy needs go unaddressed for such extended periods. Speak to him in terms of how it makes you feel as a woman not to feel desired and what it is doing to your self esteem.
Are his excuses mainly of physical ailments or psychological in nature. Do they seem legit or contrived. Assuming your H is about the same age as you you should 1st eliminate hormonal or other medical conditions that might be the caus. If there's nothing wrong physical with him then it has to be mental. One way or another you will have to make him see his behavior is damaging to the marriage and to you.
worksforme2: Real Mustang Guy....To see the latest posts, stories, replies, move your scroll arrow left to ILIASM Forum and wait. The General Category will appear. Move your arrow downto the word General and left click. All the categories will appear.
Oct 22, 2019 17:19:53 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: Thank you worksforme2. That helps but this site is really confusing for me for some reason. I'll keep trying to figure it out though. Thank you again for your explanation.
Oct 23, 2019 8:15:40 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: misssunnybunny, thank you as well for your link. I'll study that and hopefully it will help me figure this site out.
Oct 23, 2019 8:16:35 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! I do hope it helps.
Oct 23, 2019 20:44:53 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Oct 26, 2019 9:02:26 GMT -5
warmways: Happy birthday solodriver!
Oct 30, 2019 9:17:55 GMT -5
solodriver: Thanks warmways
Oct 30, 2019 23:36:15 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: When using a member's username in a post, how does one get it to be in different color and work as a link? I can type in the name but after posting it doesn't look the same as when others use member's usernames in their posts.
Nov 2, 2019 11:37:25 GMT -5
bfar: Just stumbled on this article:https://masculinebydesign.com/sexless-marriage-is-symptomatic-of-emasculated-husbands/ was more than a little disconcerting. Are we digging ourselves further in the hole by trying to be all enlightened and sensitive?
Nov 3, 2019 13:46:42 GMT -5
petrushka: Mate, what's the alternative to all enlightened and sensitive here? Rape? Coercion? Sexual assault? Thanks, but I can do better than being a complete arsehole (or psychopath for that matter).
Nov 3, 2019 21:11:53 GMT -5
bfar: Petrushka... I'm just wondering if we shot ourselves in the foot, as it were, by giving giving up on our strength, and giving in to the feminist agenda of making men irrelevant.
Nov 5, 2019 11:30:21 GMT -5
petrushka: Sorry, I don't buy into that at all. I'm not giving up anything. I've been into the "feminist agenda" for nearly 60 years. Having an empowered partner empowers me. I want strong women around me who take responsibility for themselves and who can face me
Nov 5, 2019 17:20:16 GMT -5
petrushka: I see 'strong men', and controlling bullies, as basically weak, lacking confidence and self esteem -- hence they think they need to assert themselves that way. I loathe patriarchy as much as matriarchy. Partners should be equals.
Nov 5, 2019 17:24:43 GMT -5
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5