How does having sex with your ex count as being bad?
Ask yourself "how many divorced members here have sex with their X or would even consider it" ? And after all the times she said no when we were married it feels like I have again sampled the forbidden fruit. It's sort of like how the Philistines might have felt after sacking a city. Too good not to be bad. Bwahahaha….
I suspect that the reaction to this depends on how done you are when you split up. For me, I was decades over-done. If I had gotten out when I should, 90 days after the wedding, I could see how it might have happened.
Post by worksforme2 on Jul 29, 2018 14:11:35 GMT -5
Since mating with my X again I have been reading up on others "thoughts" or opinions on following that path. Some opine that it's something you should not do because it prevents one from "moving on" or putting the failed relation ship behind you(GQ). Other say it's a good way to find "closure" or to keep it together as you seek a new partner that you might be more compatible with. Do it for "old times sake"(Huffington Post). Ask Men just says it's generally a bad idea, but if you do have sex with the X make sure that's all it is. Don't spend the night. Don't go on a date. Take and give pleasure and then head home. Others say there it is much that's positive in this type of FWB scenario. I can see some value in each perspective. And as I read I digest as best I can how much of it applies to me and my situation. And I have watched a couple YouTube videos. Most of the advise is written by people in the 30's and 40's. So I am wishfully thinking perhaps much of it doesn't apply to me. I'll be 70 in a couple months. I have no intention of remarrying. I just want to pursue as much or many of the good things life has to offer. And pumping my little swimmers into an attractive woman adds as much to the quality of life as most anything I can think of. My X seems to have adopted part of the "Ask Men" approach, because shortly after the sex is over she is ushering me out the door. (So far we have only done the deed at her place). So I'm thinking she views our couplings as purely something "in the moment". That's OK with me. But we do go on dates and do other things together which we both seem to enjoy. We enjoy each others company. She is a good conversationalist. We have sex. I don't see many negatives here so how is this be a bad thing? So for now I think am going to ignore most of the advice in those articles and just go with the flow. I'll continue to plow her furrow as the opportunity presents, unless of coarse you guys can convince me of the error in my logic.
You've re-defined your relationship with your former wife Brother worksforme2 And that re-definition includes having a root now and then. And, if post marriage your relationship is capable of generating a bit of sex now and then, that speaks pretty much of the relationship being in healthy shape and based on your new reality. Which is a good thing I reckon.
A bit unconventional maybe. So what ? You are two single & consenting adults. Good on you (both) I reckon.
worksforme2: hey nancyb, how are things perkolating with the older gentleman you spoke of a while back?
Jul 28, 2018 18:25:32 GMT -5
nancyb: worksforme2: Relationship died when we had a difference in opinion regarding UFO's and extraterrestrial beings. LOL I weighed in on the nay side and he believed they walk amongst us.
Jul 30, 2018 5:51:07 GMT -5
bc: I can’t stop laughing...go ahead, micromanage and analyze that marriage and see what she will do for you.
Jul 30, 2018 8:17:58 GMT -5
Dan: I think I'd have to see how good a new girlfriend was in the sack before I crossed her off the list -- or kicked her out of bed -- for believing in UFOs. I guess that makes me... male!
Jul 30, 2018 21:25:05 GMT -5
solodriver: It's been so long for me, I might see UFOs my first time. lol
Jul 31, 2018 1:42:47 GMT -5
beachguy: nancyb: He's right. It's all in the X Files, if you care to look.
Jul 31, 2018 3:45:13 GMT -5
nancyb: Dan: It was a tough decision, he was a good lover but the craziness ended things. Been dating since but nothing serious. I paint a lot.
Jul 31, 2018 5:57:00 GMT -5
petrushka: Thing is, someone being a fruit-loop about something like UFOs usually is not confined to one area; even if it is not immediately obvious. People who are nutty about one thing can go off at a tangent any time, I found (...out the hard way).
Jul 31, 2018 7:39:29 GMT -5
greatcoastal: nancyb: Sounds like you Identified a Fucking Object for what it truly is!
Jul 31, 2018 8:25:25 GMT -5
worksforme2: nancyb,...I am going to paint my living room soon as I can decide on the color.
Jul 31, 2018 19:15:08 GMT -5
worksforme2: When it comes to UFO's we always hear about "little green men", why are there never any "little green women"?
Aug 1, 2018 6:21:15 GMT -5
solodriver: I think I recall an episode of "Lost In Space where Dr. Smith was being chased by a green woman
Aug 1, 2018 21:29:17 GMT -5