How does having sex with your ex count as being bad?
Ask yourself "how many divorced members here have sex with their X or would even consider it" ? And after all the times she said no when we were married it feels like I have again sampled the forbidden fruit. It's sort of like how the Philistines might have felt after sacking a city. Too good not to be bad. Bwahahaha….
I suspect that the reaction to this depends on how done you are when you split up. For me, I was decades over-done. If I had gotten out when I should, 90 days after the wedding, I could see how it might have happened.
Post by worksforme2 on Jul 29, 2018 14:11:35 GMT -5
Since mating with my X again I have been reading up on others "thoughts" or opinions on following that path. Some opine that it's something you should not do because it prevents one from "moving on" or putting the failed relation ship behind you(GQ). Other say it's a good way to find "closure" or to keep it together as you seek a new partner that you might be more compatible with. Do it for "old times sake"(Huffington Post). Ask Men just says it's generally a bad idea, but if you do have sex with the X make sure that's all it is. Don't spend the night. Don't go on a date. Take and give pleasure and then head home. Others say there it is much that's positive in this type of FWB scenario. I can see some value in each perspective. And as I read I digest as best I can how much of it applies to me and my situation. And I have watched a couple YouTube videos. Most of the advise is written by people in the 30's and 40's. So I am wishfully thinking perhaps much of it doesn't apply to me. I'll be 70 in a couple months. I have no intention of remarrying. I just want to pursue as much or many of the good things life has to offer. And pumping my little swimmers into an attractive woman adds as much to the quality of life as most anything I can think of. My X seems to have adopted part of the "Ask Men" approach, because shortly after the sex is over she is ushering me out the door. (So far we have only done the deed at her place). So I'm thinking she views our couplings as purely something "in the moment". That's OK with me. But we do go on dates and do other things together which we both seem to enjoy. We enjoy each others company. She is a good conversationalist. We have sex. I don't see many negatives here so how is this be a bad thing? So for now I think am going to ignore most of the advice in those articles and just go with the flow. I'll continue to plow her furrow as the opportunity presents, unless of coarse you guys can convince me of the error in my logic.
You've re-defined your relationship with your former wife Brother worksforme2 And that re-definition includes having a root now and then. And, if post marriage your relationship is capable of generating a bit of sex now and then, that speaks pretty much of the relationship being in healthy shape and based on your new reality. Which is a good thing I reckon.
A bit unconventional maybe. So what ? You are two single & consenting adults. Good on you (both) I reckon.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
jetcity: Had to have my cat put down today. He was very old and he let us know it was time this morning. My wife went to visit her mother today So now It’s just me, the cats and dog and a couple cold beers. Now that’s a party right?
Oct 12, 2018 21:57:32 GMT -5
solodriver: So sorry jetcity, I've done that many times over the years, never gets any easier.
Oct 12, 2018 22:45:20 GMT -5
jetcity: I managed to create an avatar! The beard and mustache are kind of funky though.
Oct 12, 2018 23:30:07 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Welcome, dontstart! Feel free to post in the introduction thread; not many people see/use the shout box. Read and explore here, and hope you find us a helpful community.
Oct 14, 2018 10:41:21 GMT -5
caballotierra: Hey all, I setup a new account since my W figured out my login and was using my posts against me. Since we're going through divorce, I thought it would be safer to remove my old name. Although I feel attached to it.
Oct 15, 2018 16:12:30 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, wow. Sorry that happened to you!
Oct 15, 2018 16:36:32 GMT -5
caballotierra: Does anyone know how to delete my old account? Right now, it's still searchable, which is a problem.
Oct 16, 2018 12:12:19 GMT -5
h: @andie left us ☹️ No more Grammar Queen.
Oct 22, 2018 12:15:27 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: I'm also very sad to see that andie is gone
Oct 22, 2018 16:25:07 GMT -5
jim44444: hmisssunnybunny not only did andie delete her existence here she also deleted her tumblr account. Maybe her hubby found her online postings.
Oct 22, 2018 19:52:59 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, no! Hope she is okay...
Oct 22, 2018 20:00:25 GMT -5
solodriver: I'm sad andie is gone too. She reached out to me when I first joined the group at a time when I was really sick, and talked to me everyday until I was well again and shared a lot of her stories with me.
Oct 22, 2018 20:58:28 GMT -5